Vengeance of The Broken Lycan Prince [BL]-Chapter 441: No Regrets, Even If It Haunts

[KAWAI]

Ahead of them, Kosta and Tamiko had been listening. It was inevitable for them, and healthy; it was something that most hadn’t expected. Not like this. Maybe because they still had a lot to work through, but it was what it was. This.

"They talk too much," Kosta said hoarsely, finally addressing what he had heard.

The words were like blades that cut under his skin. And it wasn’t just because they’d come out of love, but because of the thought that if he had gone through with his attempt the previous night, this wouldn’t have happened.

None of this would have been tabled, and Kosta wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He never thought his people trusted him that much, and now, as he walked the road with his Erasthai and the warriors from battle.

The Lycan Chief was scared of what the future would be like for him. He didn’t know if he had the strength to get through this. Or even the sanity to figure out what his people needed from him as a Lycan Chief.

"They always have. You’re their Chief Commander, of course, they will marvel at your skills and everything you do," Tamiko said softly without turning. His tone wasn’t mocking either.

If anything, it was like they were living in the best of moments for them. However, beneath those words, beneath that repose was a prince’s greatest fear. The fear of almost losing his Erasthai, not once, but twice.

He had almost bled out on the battlefield because he was sure he was stronger. And love had fucked his mind.

Tamiko didn’t regret what he had done back there, but he could have thought of dealing with it differently. He could have come up with a better strategy than what he had done.

And he knew his father was stressed out.

But that was not written on him like the weight of almost losing twice. It was hell for him. Gods, he had almost become another story that would be carried through the winds of history, and yet he didn’t care about that.

Even to this point.

"When you were stabbed, krushka..." Kosta began in a whisper.

He was still worried sick about how shit had gotten.

The way that shit hadn’t left his mind for hours was eating him up, and he couldn’t even think straight because he didn’t know what he would have done if he had lost Tamiko today.

He wasn’t even sure if he himself would be walking the road home with the rest of the warriors.

"It felt like the world stopped," Kosta continued softly, scared of what the reality would ever look like for him and Tamiko. He hated the dynamics even to this point, but there was only so much he could say and try to do.

"I... I’m still here, Kosta," Tamiko voiced softly as he slowed down.

He didn’t even have the energy to face his Erasthai; the realm wasn’t as kind to him like that, because he was scared of what he would see in the Lycan Chief’s face.

He was scared of what it would be like then.

The prince was scared that on this moonlit night, there would be another set of hearts being broken again. He didn’t wish that for anyone, and most especially the love of his life.

His Kosta.

"But it wasn’t supposed to be like that, though... I wasn’t supposed to almost lose you on the battlefield surrounded by Grealor warriors back there. Things shouldn’t have gotten to that point.

"You weren’t supposed to almost not be, my soul," Kosta said shakily.

His laugh sounded broken as he tried to will himself to lean into the fact that Tamiko was here now with him, not gone into the afterlife. That Tamiko didn’t need to leave again.

That this wasn’t just another bout of the endless maybes they had been circling. This was different, and they both knew it. It was not what they dealt with daily; it wasn’t how shit was supposed to continue.

It wasn’t what hell was to be for them, and yet as the moonlight shone on them, Kosta had gotten to witness the worst part of love. He didn’t even know how to truly feel about that.

Tamiko turned to look at his Erasthai, the sound of the warriors cheering for their win fading in the distance. Everyone around them seemed to be in an almost different mood from the two of them.

This was honestly a good night to celebrate, and if they had been wearing bloody collars and armor, perhaps they would have gone from the battlefield to the banquet directly.

That was all Tamiko was thinking of.

To at least what he was trying to cheat himself into thinking of.

Maybe because he was still stuck on what had happened the night before this one. The way that love had been so raw and defeating and had been so ruthless with him, as if he didn’t deserve to have someone who stayed with him.

The way that love had tested every ounce of his self-control while reminding him that, at the end of the day, there wasn’t much that he could do if Kosta didn’t want him to.

It was an expensive bargain, nonetheless, and honestly wasn’t what anyone would wish even for their worst enemy.

"You said you didn’t want me digging graves in your name, Kosta. So, I set down my weapons before you, not because I wanted to put on a show, my love. But because it was you. You asked for something that I didn’t know how to give.

"So, I was left with only one option, one that didn’t seem as cruel for both of us. I trusted you, because that was the only way," Tamiko said, his exhaustion evident on his face.

He wanted to scream at the world at anyone, but then the only person beside him was Kosta, and he didn’t want to ruin the day for his precious Erasthai. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did that.

Tamiko just wanted to go to bed and get some deserved sleep. It had been a while since he got any good sleep in the last ten years. So much had changed in his life, and he never had the chance to make anything right.

Here he was again, with a potential loss lingering in his life. It made no sense, but what the hell was he to do in that particular moment then? Was he to act like the world was all glorious and shit when his heart was shattering over and over?

"I didn’t tell you to go out and die for me, though. Or even in their hands. I didn’t ask for your life in exchange... He almost killed you. I almost lost you forever. He... I wanted you, Krushka, not your corpse, just you.

"How was I to... Oh, gods," Kosta said softly, his voice hoarse.

He never imagined feeling like that again, yet he had a feeling that this was not even the beginning of their sacrifices. It was as if that was all they could ever lean into.

It was like the world they had to choose from, and it wasn’t the best of things for Kosta. He despised it so much. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t okay. He just wanted his Erasthai, surely that wasn’t too much for him to ask of the fates, no?

"It was the only way I knew to show you my love. If they took you from me..."