Vengeance of The Broken Lycan Prince [BL]-Chapter 415: How Do I Protect You, From You?

[TAMIKO]

Kosta’s words were worse than poison to the young prince’s ears. It was even worse than a direct stab to the heart, even if they were currently on the battlefield. It was a declaration of something much worse.

And the prince... the man who had been ready to give everything up for Kosta, the man who would definitely give everything for Kosta if the Lycan chief so much as asked, watched in defeat as Kosta let out his cruel words.

"You won’t let me live my life. You hover around like a shadow in the wild. You treat me like I am so delicate that no one should come near me, but I am also a warrior, Tamiko.

"You said my omega status wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, but all you have been doing this entire time is remind me of who I am. I have never hated my sub-gender my whole life. You are choking me with your protection.

"I want to be free," Kosta argued, twisting the knife deeper into Tamiko’s heart.

This was not the hell Tamiko had imagined when he had been destined for hell. This was worse than the twenty-five years of torture that had been inflicted on him in Grealor. This was worse than everything that had ever happened.

And in that moment of weakness, Tamiko sought out Gabe’s eyes in the crowd, as if to tell the dark alpha’s son that this was what torture looked like.

Torture without blood; not the blades that Gabe had used to tear through his skin. Not the hard labor, he had always been exposed to unreality. Not even the mere idea that he had grown up thinking he was an orphan.

This was what it meant to see Tamiko break.

For a fleeting moment, Tamiko saw something in Gabe’s eyes. But that didn’t matter now because Kosta hated him.

Kosta didn’t want him anymore.

It was the truth that was lingering in these words that Kosta was using, and Tamiko didn’t know where to start. He didn’t know how to defend himself anymore. How was he supposed to defend him as a protective lover?

How was he to defend the fact that all that he had done was out of the love he had for Kosta and nothing else?

Was his devotion that suffocating?

"I love you! Is that not enough reason to understand why I make these choices?" Tamiko made his desperation obvious.

He was out of everything that he could say or even think.

His heart hurt so badly that he was so certain he could collapse any moment, but he wouldn’t give their enemies the satisfaction of seeing how Kosta was ripping his heart out of his chest ever so mercilessly.

If only it were that easy for them to be in love. If only love weren’t an uphill battle for them, too. If only love wasn’t suffocating, but what part of his devotion was suffocating for both of them?

He was laying himself bare, and the Chief couldn’t even see that. And it hurt, because no matter what Kosta did to him, Tamiko would never once complain about it, because he loved Kosta that much, probably way too much.

Because he was once again hurting from the worst that came from a love that was meant to be his to kiss.

Now it was as if venom was all that was left there.

And for a moment, Tamiko wondered if Kosta hated him. He was poised to ask that, though, because there was the answer would be yet sadder if that happened, Tamiko would end himself.

He would kill himself, truly.

He couldn’t live in a world that didn’t have Kosta, and he couldn’t live without him.

He would just choose to go to his mother and hope that their life would be better for each other. That was Tamiko’s worst fear ever since Yilena’s threat, and now it was coming true. Kosta hated him ever so openly.

Fuck, this was not what he had hoped for.

But what was even the point of hoping when life was so fucked up?

"Love isn’t supposed to be suffocating Tamiko. I can’t breathe when you’re near. I can’t exist because you keep hovering around me, you make me scared to live life on my own," Kosta sighed exasperatedly, ignoring the gasps that tore through the silence.

It was as if they had been given the perfect arsenal. This was not how shit was supposed to be, and the mad king who was watching shit unfold felt like it was his heart getting stabbed.

He knew how devoted his son was to the Lycan chief.

He knew how much Tamiko loved the barbarian.

The only reason the king wasn’t intervening was partially because Lord Sadako gripped him, and also the reminder that Tamiko had always told his father that he wanted to deal with his relationship issues alone.

And that his father wasn’t to do anything to put Kosta most in harm’s way, but if Zaffuto was right now, he wanted to slap Kosta’s head off his neck.

Oh, the barbarian needed to thank his lucky stars that Tamiko had made sure he would be safe regardless of what happened, but the heartache was too much.

The barbarian was making it obvious that he didn’t want shit to do with Tamiko’s love, and that was heart-shattering.

This was not how life was to be.

This was not what love was supposed to be like, and fuck it if Lord Sadako and Daniel didn’t feel the hurt that simmered through the wave of enemies and allies alike. This was a different kind of pain, one that even the devil was ashamed of being part of.

"Is that why you tried to kill yourself last night? Is my love really that suffocating that you don’t want to live for me anymore? Is it so bad that I would protect you when we both know damn well that we were attacked because the realm thinks that loving you made me soft?" Tamiko asked in defeat.

He was done.

He didn’t have anything for himself because this was his only saving grace. This was his only reason for existing, and if that in itself was not worth it, what the hell was he to hold onto?

How was he to work through this shit when Kosta was giving him the cold shoulder already?

How was he to learn to love and be devoted when clearly his love was suffocating the man he loved the most?

Kosta just stared in silence, the weight of what he had tried to do reminding him of what the times were for Tamiko. But even then, his defiance was evident in his eyes; he didn’t want to be suffocated by love.

That was all he was asking: a free love.

Freedom without chains.

But wasn’t that what Tamiko had always given him, or was the translation of freedom different?

According to the Kawai customs, the same customs that Kosta had grown up in, every Lycan was supposed to have a formal wedding in the first year of their mating, otherwise they would be considered outlaws.

Yet Tamiko had done nothing for thirteen years; he had not pushed, he had not tried to force Kosta into anything, even when it was obvious that their bond was at risk. Tamiko had given him a choice.

He always, always had a choice.

What part of that was suffocating, though, or did Tamiko lose it all in translation, and his obsession was all that was left for Kosta to struggle through?

"How am I supposed to protect you from yourself, Kosta? How am I supposed to be there for you when you won’t even let me in? What am I supposed to do when our love is so cursed? What do I have to live for if not you?" Tamiko asked.

Kosta stared at him, shocked.

This was not what he had assumed this would all become. And frankly, even the warriors on the battlefield were shocked at what the price said. It was as if the man was more than willing to give up his life if that was what he most needed to be free.

It was scary, though, because maybe what happened this time wasn’t how they had thought the transition would be. But what was life when love had been lost to the very chaos they had struggled to be a part of?

"You don’t mean that."