This Human Immortal Is Too Serious-Chapter 410 - 408 What is a Surprise [Vote for me!]
A great battle changed the landscape for hundreds of miles around.
Tents were erected around the grand formation suppressing seven Innate Gods.
The Human Domain simply stationed their army here, augmenting the formation inside and out with the breath of living beings, completely sealing the escape routes of these seven Divine Spirits.
Inside the absurdly large tent, Wu Wang wore a serious expression. He gazed down at the fiery red charcoal, his right hand wrapped in immortal power, steadily rotating the small iron rack and turning the bear paw on top. He sprinkled some Harmonizing Herbs, added some mountain garlic powder, and a rich aroma of meat wafted through the tent.
Ling Xiaolan, now in a short skirt, entered from outside. Seeing the scene, she couldn’t help but cover her mouth and giggle. Then, she walked over and quietly sat beside Wu Wang, also watching the two piles of charcoal. The faint glow of the fire painted her snow-white, moist skin with a light blush, her slender, well-rounded legs pressed together.
Normally, when she took her seat, a soft cushion, a handkerchief, and ’three layers’ of Immortal Light were inevitable—a habit she couldn’t change. But today, she deliberately refrained from these habits, simply sitting beside Wu Wang on the low stool covered in soft animal hides. Though somewhat uncomfortable, she endured it.
After tinkering for a while, Wu Wang passed a pair of bamboo chopsticks to Ling Xiaolan and smiled, "Want to try?"
"Mhm," Ling Xiaolan replied, grasping the bamboo chopsticks somewhat cautiously, her fingers trembling slightly as if they were spiked. 𝐟𝗿𝐞𝚎𝚠𝐞𝚋𝕟𝐨𝚟𝐞𝕝.𝕔𝕠𝚖
A large hand reached over from the side, took hold of Ling Xiaolan’s delicate wrist, and retrieved the chopsticks. Ling Xiaolan pursed her lips but gripped the chopsticks even tighter.
"Don’t be like this." Wu Wang looked at Ling Xiaolan intently and said in a gentle voice, "You don’t have to force yourself to adapt to a so-called normal life."
"But I..." Ling Xiaolan seemed to want to say more but ultimately just sighed softly.
A downhearted Fairy Immortal possessed a unique charm. Wu Wang smiled, a hint of apology in his eyes, and proactively released her hand. The atmosphere in the tent grew a bit somber.
Something minor had occurred an hour ago. Essentially, it was the quiet period after the great battle. They had attended the cremation ceremony for the fallen soldiers and were deeply moved by the sorrowful atmosphere. Due to his sensitive identity at the time, Wu Wang hadn’t shown himself directly, instead observing quietly from a corner. He watched the flames gradually die down, the weight of life seemingly reduced to dust, unable to withstand the wind and rain. Cultivation, achievements—everything eventually turned into a handful of dust. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, leaving behind a touch of desolation in the world.
Wu Wang gently took the hand of the beauty beside him, searching for the spaces between her fingers through her fine gloves. After everyone paid their respects, Wu Wang and Ling Xiaolan bowed in Daoist salute to each other and left the corner. They strolled through the woods, chatting under the moonlight about various matters concerning the Human Domain and the Heaven Palace, gradually drawing closer. It was a classic case of mutual affection; the somewhat mournful atmosphere seemed to make them cherish each other even more. Life was filled with too many variables, making the future uncertain.
Thus, under a tree, the Saintess stood with her hands behind her back, a layer of pale white Immortal Light covering her. The smooth curves of her silhouette pressed against the Immortal Light as she watched the face drawing nearer, and she gently closed her eyes.
But the outcome was quite evident. It was simply that Fairy Ling thought she could, but in the end...
The human world had defiled her.
The human world had defiled her again.
The human world had thoroughly defiled her.
This human world... it was beyond redemption.
They tried for a while, but ultimately, Wu Wang took the initiative to give up. Holding the Fairy Immortal’s hand, he spoke some comforting words, and they returned hand-in-hand to the newly erected tent area. She went for her customary bath, while Wu Wang casually hunted a fierce beast, butchered it, and returned to roast the bear paws.
This stumped Wu Wang. Was it that their affection hadn’t reached that point, or was Fairy Ling destined to be an untouchable moonbeam from the heavens, meaning they were fated never to experience those common, worldly storylines? Being ethereal and highbrow wasn’t so bad; he, Wu Wang, wasn’t a man consumed by lust. Besides, already feeling guilty for potentially juggling three women’s affections, he was actually quite content to maintain this distance from Fairy Ling for life.
But the problem was... Wu Wang sensed a knot in Xiaolan’s heart, and it was already affecting her Dao heart. She clearly wanted them to be an ordinary, normal pair of Dao companions. Previously, the Deity of Fate’s seal on Wu Wang had been somewhat balanced by Fairy Ling’s mysophobia. Now that Wu Wang was free of his constraint, her mysophobia hadn’t improved much. How could she not be anxious?
The atmosphere in the large tent was a bit awkward. Wu Wang carefully selected a few succulent pieces of roasted meat, placed them on a clean jade plate, and brought it to Ling Xiaolan, deliberately waving it under her delicate nose a few times. "Here, try some."
"Alright," Ling Xiaolan replied, her face slightly flushed, as she looked down at the jade plate.
Just as Wu Wang was about to tell her not to force herself, Ling Xiaolan suddenly picked up the jade plate. Her entire body tensed, and closing her eyes, she tipped the roasted meat into her mouth. Wu Wang was somewhat stunned. Ling Xiaolan quickly turned away, covering her throat and coughing lightly. After a good while, she finally let out a long sigh.
"I can do it." She turned back, her eyes shining, and whispered, "I’m sure I can."
"You really don’t have to do this," Wu Wang said, his heart aching for her. He raised his hand to hold her arm and said earnestly, "Neither of us needs to try to please the other just to be together."
Ling Xiaolan gazed at Wu Wang’s face, her eyes filled with deep affection, yet she still refused to say anything that sounded like yielding. She propped her chin with her hand and muttered softly, "It’s not as if only men are attracted to beauty."
"Huh?" Wu Wang was a bit bewildered.
"Don’t misunderstand. I’m not some fickle woman." Ling Xiaolan tilted her head up slightly, feigning composure as she said, "Since I’ve pledged myself to you, I’ve pledged myself to you. I will naturally stay by your side and accompany you. I want to experience the joys between a man and a woman, which is why I want to correct this strange ailment of mine. It’s not to please you. If, in the future, we can expel the Divine Spirits and restore peace and prosperity to the Human Domain, and if we are fortunate enough to have a son or daughter, that would be the continuation of our lives. Only then would this life be truly complete."
Wu Wang genuinely didn’t want to puncture her feigned strength at that moment. He just smiled with narrowed eyes and nodded repeatedly. "Well then, brave lady, what do you think we should do next to help you overcome this issue?"
Wu Wang thought for a moment and added, "And I don’t think this is some strange ailment. Unlike my previous condition—that was a heinous Curse method the Deity of Fate had placed on me—yours is purely an excessive pursuit of personal cleanliness. It’s just a little excessive, that’s all."
Ling Xiaolan considered this carefully and asked in a low voice, "Why did the Deity of Fate place a Curse method on you? To prevent you from being with women?"
"How would I know?" Wu Wang raised a hand to rub his forehead. "I’ve never understood it, but my heart is filled with animosity towards the Deity of Fate."
"Indeed," Ling Xiaolan analyzed seriously. "The Young Master of a Large Family Clan, living in the clan lands since childhood... The waistlines of the young women in the Northern Wilderness are said to be unparalleled in the Great Wilderness. And you have such an accommodating nature, plus the customs in the Northern Wilderness are so open. You must truly despise that Deity of Fate."
"Hey, when was I ever accommodating!?" Wu Wang puffed out his chest, his face full of righteousness. "Isn’t my pure Yang body the best proof of my chastity? I, Wu Wangzi, am the most upright Young Master of the Northern Wilderness! My good friend Xing Tian was getting knocked unconscious countless times by the time he was a teenager."
Ling Xiaolan chuckled, then couldn’t help but laugh until her delicate frame trembled. Wu Wang’s gaze involuntarily drifted downwards. When she noticed, he earned a few soft rebukes and quickly apologized.
"Can you tell me more about the Deity of Fate?" Ling Xiaolan calmly steered the conversation back on track, a clear light shining in her eyes. "It’s hard to believe you’ve had no contact whatsoever with that ancient deity."
"I really don’t know what happened," Wu Wang said, spreading his hands. "My memory is complete, and there’s no trace of anything on my Divine Soul. It’s as if I went through a Dream Realm, but I’ve forgotten most of it. I only remember a Great Tree, and the figure of a young girl beneath it. Then, she transformed into a gentle-looking woman who smiled at me, but I couldn’t see her face clearly. And then she cried. Finally, she bit me on the shoulder." Wu Wang pulled open his collar, revealing his broad shoulder, the muscle lines quite distinct. "But I have no injuries."
"Then this is..."
"Still a mystery," Wu Wang shook his head. "I believe that as I continue to progress, one day I’ll have the chance to go to the Outer Sky and confront that Deity of Fate directly. Then I’ll be able to get to the bottom of this."
Ling Xiaolan hmphed. "Just make sure that when the time comes, if the God of Spring sees she’s a goddess of ethereal beauty, as if hidden from the world, you don’t forget your resentment and get entangled in some passionate affair with her."
"Is that likely?" Wu Wang said indifferently. "She placed that arbitrary Curse method on me without my knowledge or any reason. If I hadn’t been able to leave the Northern Wilderness, or if I hadn’t had so many opportunities in the Human Domain, wouldn’t I have ended up dying old and alone in the Northern Wilderness? My death like that would be a small matter. But without external intervention, the Northern Wilderness might have remained stable, yet the Bear Hug clan would surely have been thrown into turmoil because of this. If someone had shouted, ’This is a punishment from the Star God,’ our entire clan could have been finished just like that. You have no idea how anxious I was during those years, or the pressure I endured. I will definitely seek justice from the Deity of Fate for what she did to me, even if..."
She is my mother’s good friend, the Candle Dragon’s daughter, the deity who controls the destiny of all things in heaven and earth.
Ling Xiaolan’s eyes filled with apology. She moved closer to Wu Wang, cautiously took his arm, and whispered, "It was wrong of me to say that. Don’t be so angry. I do trust you."
"Mm," Wu Wang said, staring somewhat absently at the charcoal fire, his mind also pondering these matters. He still couldn’t see things clearly. He had never asked his mother directly, partly because her initial answer had been too glib; moreover, the explanation she had given him back then already had inconsistencies. Wu Wang had long known that his mother was keeping many things from him, her son. I need to find a chance to go to the Northern Wilderness and talk to Mother about these things face to face.
"Shall... shall we try again?" Ling Xiaolan asked softly, her pretty face like a ripe apple, flushed from the heat of the fire. "This time, I’m... I’m sure I can do it."
"This... alright!" Wu Wang gritted his teeth. Worst case, I’ll risk my life to accompany this Fairy Immortal!
Thus, their eyes met. Their young and restless Dao hearts needed no extra enticement to quickly blossom with tender affection, drawing them to seek the touch of each other’s lips...
"COUGH!" An elderly female voice suddenly rang out. "Lord Wu Wangzi, Saintess, I’m afraid I must interrupt your tender moment."
Ling Xiaolan calmly sat up straight, her lovely face quickly regaining its frosty composure, though her trembling hands betrayed her inner embarrassment. Wu Wang cleared his throat and asked, "Is that a senior from the Xuan Nu Sect? What is it?"
The silhouette of an old woman appeared at the tent entrance. She bowed and said, "Reporting to Lord Wu Wangzi, the Heaven Palace has sent an envoy. They have already reached the northwestern border of the Southeastern Region. Led by the Wood God of the Five Elements Gods, they bring gifts, hoping to ransom back those seven Innate Gods."
"Oh? They’re rather quick." Wu Wang glanced at Ling Xiaolan, gently squeezed her soft hand, and said warmly, "I’ll go deal with this."
"Mhm... Mhm!" Ling Xiaolan responded softly.
The old woman seemed to want to say more but wisely chose to remain silent. Wu Wang looked down at his still reasonably tidy robes, took a deep breath, his spirits instantly restored to fullness, his Dao heart like a clear mirror, his mind free of distracting thoughts.
The Wood God? During my time in the Heaven Palace, I always wanted to meet this powerful god but never had the chance. I didn’t expect him to come as an envoy to the Southeastern Region to resolve the matter of the captured Innate Gods. I should definitely meet this Wood God properly. The Five Elements Gods are not to be taken lightly. Even in the previous divine era, when the Candle Dragon maintained order, the Five Elements Gods held a transcendent status. There was even a saying that if the Five Elements Gods joined forces, they could directly suppress a Strong God. Of course, there’s no real basis for such a claim; it was likely just a rating concocted by those who enjoy such speculation. After all, Shen Sheng is long.
Wu Wang summoned Xiao Jian Daoist and several respected elders from the Human Domain, instructed them on how to negotiate with the Heaven Palace later, and then set off alone to meet the Heaven Palace’s envoy.
Ransom back those Innate Gods? That’s naturally impossible. If those seven Divine Spirits are taken back, they’re headed for a dead end. Emperor Shun will certainly use them as an example to establish his authority, killing them cleanly, and then have the Divine Pool nurture new Divine Spirits corresponding to their Great Daos. The way the Heaven Palace rules the Hundred Races is how Emperor Shun will rule the gods. There’s an inherent logical connection there. I went to such great lengths to keep these seven gods precisely to use this process to bargain with the Heaven Palace, to fight for a foothold in the Heaven Palace, to fight for a future team for my schemes. Of course, I can’t release them easily. Never mind the Wood God; even if Xihe herself came, I would definitely use stalling tactics to send her packing! In short—it’s useless no matter who comes!
So, near the border of the Southeastern Region, where the Heaven Palace’s envoy and the Human Domain’s Immortal Soldiers faced off, Wu Wang conjured a bronze mirror and adjusted his expression in it. He composed his expression into a carefully measured blend: three parts coldness, three parts anger, three parts indifference, topped with a dash of youthful arrogance.
Wu Wang took out the Star Sword and hung it at his waist. He deliberately changed into a black, high-collared robe, exuding a faint, fierce aura. As he approached the area where the Immortal Soldiers were confronting the Heaven Palace’s envoy group, he steeled his resolve and summoned the Resonant Snake. He had her revert to her true form, a thousand zhang long, and then, standing on her forehead, he traversed a short stretch of the void. Wu Wang’s current combat strength already surpassed the Resonant Snake’s; bringing her along for an outing was naturally an impressive display. Unfortunately, the Resonant Snake knew about matters of the Heavenly Dao, so Wu Wang dared not let her enter the Heaven Palace. After the affairs in the Southeastern Region were concluded, the Resonant Snake still had to return to protect the Annihilation Sect and his old auntie.
"Master, the Wood God is just ahead," the Resonant Snake’s voice sounded in Wu Wang’s mind.
"Mm," Wu Wang nodded. "Adjust our altitude. I don’t want to be looking down on this strong god of the Heaven Palace. The Wood God is also someone I need to win over."
"Yes, Master," the Resonant Snake replied respectfully. Her body slowly descended from the sky, making Wu Wang appear as if he were riding the clouds, yet beneath those clouds lurked a chilling presence.
Ahead, streaks of Liu Guang shot forth, transforming into dozens of figures. They landed on a cloud and bowed in unison to Wu Wang, shouting, "We pay our respects to Lord Wu Wang!"
In the distance, the Immortal Soldiers, though still in formation and not turning around, roared at the top of their lungs, "We pay our respects to Lord Wu Wang!"
Quite the display of status. This was actually deliberately arranged by the Human Emperor Pavilion. They wanted to show these deities from the Heaven Palace the kind of treatment Wu Wangzi, the successor to the Human Emperor, received in the Human Domain, and contrast it with his treatment in the Heaven Palace.
Wu Wang nodded calmly. The Resonant Snake beneath him glided forward, slowly lifting him several tens of zhang. His serpentine eyes fixed on the hundreds of figures standing before the Immortal Soldiers. The Divine Guards were already feeling their scalps tingle. The kindly-looking old man standing at their head squinted and smiled.
Look at this strong god from the Heaven Palace—Wood, one of the Five Elements! He looks like a tree stump that gained sentience, or perhaps a ten-thousand-year-old miraculous herb that took human form. Short and stout, with a round face and no discernible neck. His Celestial Court is full like a Panzhou peach, his earthly pavilion broad and fleshy, portending good fortune. The staff in his hand is merely six feet tall, yet it reaches exactly to his forehead. What a Wood God of the Heaven Palace! His aura is moderate and peaceful, auspicious Lingzhi clouds beneath his feet. A mere smile from him could quell the murderous intent in anyone’s heart; a single breath seems capable of granting longevity and freedom from illness. And though a divine charm surrounds him, gentle and warm, he is by no means to be trifled with.
From afar, the old god clasped his hands in salute and said in his aged voice, "God of Spring, this old god offers his respects."
"Wood God, you are too kind, too kind." Wu Wang returned the salute with a smile. "I never imagined that my first meeting with the Wood God would be here, outside the Heaven Palace, in the Southeastern Region."
"The world is full of wonders. This old god originally didn’t want to concern himself with these trivial matters, but alas, His Majesty summoned me from my tree hollow." The Wood God sighed deeply as Wu Wang arrived before him. The coils of the Resonant Snake became visible in the surrounding clouds, lightning flickering continuously, causing most of the Divine Guards to hold their breath.
"God of Spring," the Wood God said, taking a few steps forward with a smile. "Have the Resonant Snake retract her Divine Skills! Don’t let her frighten them. Although the Resonant Snake was once a rebel of the Heaven Palace, His Majesty already considered the God of Spring one of our own back then and didn’t pursue the matter. This old god was wondering why the Resonant Snake didn’t accompany the God of Spring to the Heaven Palace. I didn’t expect to see her today."
Wu Wang gestured with his hand. A dark light flashed beneath him, and the Resonant Snake, now clad in a form-fitting black outfit with a long ponytail, stood composedly behind Wu Wang. She looked straight ahead, offering no salutation. She was an emotionless mount.
Wu Wang tried to get to the point. "Wood God, your visit this time, is it regarding those..."
"AH!" the Wood God chuckled. "This old god has also brought a surprise for the God of Spring! Come, come, look who’s over there!"
Wu Wang followed the Wood God’s gesture. Dozens of Divine Guards stepped aside and retreated. A figure leaped into an open space on the clouds. She wore a long black dress, her hair styled in an exquisite cloud-like coiffure. Her pair of crystal-clear, bare feet tapped lightly in wooden clogs, her well-proportioned figure an embodiment of elegance and beauty. She blinked, her bright eyes holding a gentle smile, conveying the longing and affection of their days apart.
It was Young Master of the Heaven Palace.
Wu Wang’s eyes lit up, then he froze on the spot.
She took a step forward, her hands behind her back, and asked softly, "Will my coming here disrupt important matters?"
