This Human Immortal Is Too Serious-Chapter 354 - 352: A Generous Gift from the Young Master 【Medium Cup!】
When Wu Wang stood atop his divine statue’s head, gazing in all directions, he had already completely forgotten the rules of Emperor’s City he had just heard from the Mirror God’s Divine Realm.
His divine statue was merely three hundred zhang tall, and the domain it radiated extended only several dozen li. This was a trivial distance for a True Immortal Realm Spiritual cultivator to cover with a casual burst of speed while flying. But the area Wu Wang now surveyed was already ten times the size of his own domain!
Although it currently seemed he was surrounded by the bleak divine realms of a dozen or so minor gods, sealing off any peaceful outward expansion, who was to say one of them wouldn’t suddenly have a lapse in judgment and flee, carrying their divine statue with them?
Wu Wang smiled calmly, though a soft sigh escaped him in his heart. This divine realm, for now, offered limited assistance. However, it could serve as a window for him to observe these divine spirits of Heaven Palace, to interact with them, and perhaps to make them blush. Contact between divine realms would grant him more opportunities to deal with various Innate Gods.
The original intention of undermining Emperor Shun must never be forgotten!
Of course, one couldn’t devour a heavyweight like Brother Yun Zhongjun in a single bite, nor could one kick to death a powerful god of the five elements like the Gold God with a single blow. All things required a steady and pragmatic approach; one couldn’t afford to aim too high and miss.
Therefore, when Wu Wang planned the construction of his divine realm, the first thing that came to mind was building some latrines. Without toilets, how could things be considered proper?
Thus, before Young Master’s return, Wu Wang rummaged through his collection of Storage magic treasures. He retrieved spices from the Western Wilderness, Ffierce beast pelts from the Northern Wilderness, fallen branches of the Fusang Tree from the Eastern Wilderness, and high-grade silk curtains from the Human Domain. Then, within this territory of Central Mountain, he prepared to create a magnificent...
The Divine Realm’s Number One Latrine.
This was no ordinary latrine. It embodied new concepts of waste disposal, represented the perseverance of a wanderer from Blue Star, and served as a profound critique of a certain tribe that prided itself on civilization yet failed to build toilets. Its significance was extraordinary!
Wu Wang rolled up his sleeves, took out an axe, and threw himself into the work. Thanks to over a month of prior carpentry experience, his movements were now deft and practiced.
Most of the Heaven Palace strong gods, Main Gods, and minor gods secretly observing this place were bewildered, unsure what Wu Wang was tinkering with. When Wu Wang began to lay the foundation with his bare hands and carve channels with his sword, these Innate Gods simultaneously thought of two words—
Formation.
So much so that one minor god, with a grave expression, summoned his confidant and whispered, "Quick, report to the Head Manager! That God of Spring intends to set up a formation in Emperor’s City! We must be wary of him using it to bombard Heaven Palace!"
Wu Wang, naturally, was oblivious to all this. He wiped his sweat, feeling as if he had returned to those joyful, secluded days in the mountains of the Western Wilderness with a certain old senior. His woodworking was meticulous, and he was deeply engrossed in it. This time, he could use immortal power, making the task dozens of times easier than before.
By the time Da Yi limped back from the distance, Wu Wang had already completed the first level of the latrine and planned the layout for the subsequent three, four, and five levels. Behind Da Yi, the Tiger-headed Commander scanned the surroundings vigilantly, guarding against any sudden attacks.
Wu Wang paused his work, wiped the sweat from his brow, and assessed Da Yi’s injuries. The once-new robe Da Yi wore was now in tatters, his exposed, sturdy limbs covered in a layer of dried blood. Three or four ribs on his left chest were broken, caving inward over an area the size of a large bowl. His breathing was erratic, and his steps were unsteady.
But Da Yi’s eyes had grown sharp and composed. The confidence radiating from him was almost dazzling.
Wu Wang lowered his head and continued his work.
Da Yi took a deep breath. As he approached Wu Wang, he forced himself to straighten up, strode forward a dozen vigorous steps, and then knelt with a THUD.
"My Lord! I have returned!"
"Mm," Wu Wang replied without looking up. "Is it settled?"
"It is settled!" Da Yi’s voice was incredibly hoarse. He grinned, cupping his fists. "My Lord, we have formed an alliance with Lord Mirror God. Your subordinate did not beat them to death!"
"It’s not a major issue," Wu Wang said calmly. "Personal scores are personal scores. If you were of poor character and bullied others by relying on power, I would not shield you. Rest for now. Smell the elixirs I gave you and take whichever feels most suitable. Don’t take too many at once."
"Yes!" Da Yi kowtowed.
"You don’t need to kneel in the future."
"Yes, My Lord. I will remember." Da Yi responded solemnly, then stood up straight. He walked to the foot of Wu Wang’s divine statue, found a corner, and sat down, leaning against the base. He fumbled in his tunic for a cloth pouch. Opening it revealed shattered porcelain vials and several bloodstained elixirs.
Da Yi carefully selected an elixir, swallowed it, then closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
Wu Wang smiled at the sight. Da Yi, Da Yi... he silently repeated in his heart, infusing planks and wedges with immortal power and skillfully finishing a corner section.
The Tiger-headed Commander reported for duty, then stationed his squad of Divine Guards at the edge of Wu Wang’s Divine Realm, their expressions inexplicably content.
As Wu Wang worked, a thought suddenly struck him.
I seem to have promised Xihe to be a teacher for ten days... And now I have a Divine General named Da Yi... This? When the time comes, who would I support? Or, would Da Yi shooting the suns signify a complete break with Heaven Palace on my part?
Wu Wang paused his work, standing in thought for a long while. The Tiger-headed Commander, watching from afar, hesitated, wondering if he should offer assistance. But Wu Wang soon resumed his work, looking quite content and at ease. Seeing this, the Commander inexplicably sighed in relief, a wave of emotion washing over him as he stood on his golden cloud.
This God of Spring has such incredible luck. He casually acquired a Divine General—a supposedly useless one that other gods had deliberately used to make things difficult for him, found by the roadside. But to everyone’s surprise, after the God of Spring secretly healed his injuries, that "useless" general displayed astonishing power. He fought ferociously within the Mirror God’s Divine Realm, single-handedly defeating three high-ranking Divine Generals and seven or eight lower-ranking ones. Countless lesser underlings were sent flying or knocked unconscious. The other gods had intentionally placed the God of Spring’s statue here, undoubtedly planning to encircle and contain him later, making it impossible for him to move freely in Emperor’s City. But today, the God of Spring, by allying with the Mirror God, had ingeniously defused this difficult situation. The dozen or so moribund Divine Realms surrounding them were no match for the Mirror God’s Divine Realm. The plan to besiege the God of Spring had practically failed before it even truly began.
As the Commander of the Divine Guards, this warrior from the Tiger Clan of the Hundred Races was sometimes more astute than even the Innate Gods, despite being an unranked martial artist. He had seen through their plans!
Could it be that those gods are still unaware of the God of Spring’s methods and his fortune?
Incomprehensible, unfathomable.
The Tiger-headed Commander chuckled, glancing at the Treasure Sack in his robe. Having secretly peeked inside earlier, he now felt a strong sense of goodwill towards the God of Spring.
Still, this is ultimately a place of conflict. As soon as Young Master returns, I’ll use the excuse of troop rotation and lead my men away. Better to avoid getting spattered with blood if a fight breaks out here later.
「...」
「In the Human Domain, at the main pavilion of the Human Emperor Pavilion.」
Xiao Jian Daoist was feeling rather vexed. He had just seen off a group of Human Domain’s Transcendent Realm masters, all around thirty thousand years old. Dealing with the incessant questions from these pillars of the Human Domain had left his spiritual mind utterly exhausted. The reason was simple: everyone was concerned about Wu Wangzi being captured by Heaven Palace.
But what could be done? He couldn’t possibly tell them that Wu Wang had his own agenda and had never intended to become the next Human Emperor, could he? Or that Wu Wang went directly to Heaven Palace to inherit Emperor Fuxi’s legacy, hoping to change the Heavenly Emperor?
Xiao Jian Daoist could only try to placate these experts, urging them not to be rash and assuring them that everything was under His Majesty’s control. For some time now, he had been repeating, "Wu Wangzi’s life will not be in danger in Heaven Palace," so often that his lips were almost raw.
Truthfully, though the reason "to inherit Emperor Fuxi’s legacy" sounded plausible, he had never... believed it. If Wu Wang truly revered Emperor Fuxi so highly, why did he rarely mention Emperor Fuxi in daily life? And why, after receiving the inheritance of the Yin Yang Eight Trigrams Dao, did he continue to primarily cultivate the Dao of Stars?
At this thought, Xiao Jian Daoist’s lips twitched.
Wu Wang’s journey to Heaven Palace must be part of a grand stratagem!
Thus, Xiao Jian Daoist harbored a certain expectation he himself considered absurd, yet he possessed complete confidence in Wu Wang’s safe return.
Longevity didn’t necessarily equate to profound thinking. Most Innate Gods were born in distant eons; their ways of thought and cognitive frameworks were shaped in the relatively simpler ancient times. This was somewhat incompatible with the current era, where living beings were on the rise. Many Innate Gods, before being besieged and killed, would curse Human Domain cultivators for their treachery or excessive cunning. In reality, it wasn’t that the Human Domain was overly deceitful; rather, a significant number of Innate Gods were simply too straightforward or single-minded.
Given Wu Wang’s ability to charm the entire Human Domain and have it eating out of his hand, it wouldn’t be surprising if, upon his return, he brought back dozens, or even hundreds, of Innate Gods who had defected from Heaven Palace.
"Pah! What charm? It should be called protection! Protection!" Xiao Jian Daoist chuckled softly. He rose from behind his desk, which was cluttered with scrolls and miscellaneous items, stretched languidly, and walked to the window, gazing at the scenery outside the tall building.
Lately, the Human Domain has become increasingly peaceful. Previously, with the Human Emperor having less than a thousand years of lifespan remaining, a dark cloud constantly hung over the Human Domain. Now, after several major battles outside the Human Domain, and numerous incidents where attempts to target Wu Wang were instead turned into stepping stones by him, the anxiety among Human Domain cultivators has been greatly alleviated.
But Xiao Jian Daoist calculated that in about five hundred years, the Human Domain would once again be plunged into the same anxiety.
By that time, His Majesty will inevitably have to make a decision. Will he forcibly place the burden of the Human Emperor’s position on Wu Wang’s shoulders, or will he offer the Human Domain another choice, another path...?
"Five hundred years." Xiao Jian Daoist sighed deeply, his hands clasped behind his back.
When I first began cultivating, five hundred years felt like a long time. But after my cultivation deepened, five hundred years often passed in the blink of an eye. Looking back now, the most exciting five hundred years have been these recent five hundred years. The long-standing peace of the Human Domain was shattered, Heaven Palace made frequent moves, the Benevolent Emperor Pavilion underwent several reforms, and I, who had always feigned being a simple Sword Cultivator, was forced to start observing and scheming.
This heart, cast from purest crystal; this sword, a guardian of mortal dreams. When will strife lessen, and long cries echo through bamboo groves?
A faint sword hum resonated. The Treasure Sword hanging on the wall seemed to possess a spirit, harmonizing with Xiao Jian Daoist’s Dao-heart. Xiao Jian Daoist took out a Jade Flute, intending to play a melody to the sea of clouds, to express the emotions stirring within him...
"What are you dawdling here for? Nothing better to do? Is that map of the mortal realm I asked you to draw finished yet? Bring it to me quickly; His Majesty will need it for the council meeting later!"
"Ah, yes, Teacher. One moment." Xiao Jian Daoist silently tucked the Jade Flute back into his sleeve. He turned and searched hastily, then tucked several scrolls under his arm and, riding his sword light, swiftly flew away.
Above the mountains, the sea of clouds churned; below the mountains, a fine mist veiled the land. Several Immortal Soldiers, off-duty and resting, joked and laughed by a riverbank at the foot of the mountain. On the bonfire, several plump Spirit Fish, turning automatically, already exuded an irresistible, tantalizing aroma.
「...」
Why has Young Master been gone for so long?
In Emperor’s City, within the shadow of Emperor Shun’s statue, dusk had fallen. The clouds in the west blazed as if ignited by the Dao of Fire, their color a visceral, blood-like red. On that desolate stretch of land, Wu Wang stood with his back to his own three-hundred-zhang-tall ’grand’ divine statue, gazing at the exquisite ’two-story pavilion’ on the flat ground before him.
He had initially planned a six-story structure, but considering the practicality and comfort of this location, he had opted for a two-level design. The building was approximately twelve zhang in length and width. The ground floor featured twelve stalls, while the upper floor housed three private, elegant rooms, for a total of fifteen independent descending waste pipes. The private rooms were equipped with simple formations for soundproofing, wind dispersion, and mental tranquility. They also featured genuine leather seats with warming and cold-dispelling functions.
Wu Wang had considered placing a few Image Projection Beads to play soothing string music, hoping to alleviate any anxiety felt by beings using the facility. However, considering the other potential uses of Image Projection Beads, he wisely decided against it.
Admiring his masterpiece, Wu Wang naturally wanted to share it with someone. But Da Yi was still fast asleep, and Young Master had returned to her own Divine Realm and had not yet come back.
It’s a pity that I’ve abstained from food for so long; I can’t personally experience this uniquely luxurious design of the Great Wilderness.
As for sewage disposal, Wu Wang had mulled over numerous plans. He finally settled on installing a water-condensing formation on the top floor of the ’pavilion.’ He had acquired this formation from Xiaolan; after she once fell from the sky into a mud pit, she had used this formation to gather water vapor and condense it into clean water. The clean water flowing down would flush away waste, which would then be channeled into a deep fissure in the ground.
The fissure was at least a thousand zhang deep. Wu Wang had probed it extensively with his Immortal Consciousness, confirming the absence of any underground rivers and the extreme depth of the crevice before establishing the disposal route. As for whether, one day, a Great Wilderness Ancient God covered head to toe in filth might crawl out of that fissure... that remained to be seen.
"Ah, I’m in a good mood." Wu Wang yawned, preparing to leave and start pondering how to accommodate Da Yi.
Letting Da Yi temporarily stay in Young Master’s Divine Realm wouldn’t be a bad idea. I still need to make preparations for managing my own Divine Realm, like transferring a trustworthy group of clansmen from the Northern Wilderness to form an initial core team.
From the outset, Wu Wang had no intention of playing any ’development games’ with the surrounding minor gods. The entire Northern Wilderness was essentially his Divine Kingdom, and he could leverage the Human Domain’s advantages in cultivation techniques and elixirs at any time. His mother, as per his instructions, had already selected a group of Priests and warriors. They had come to Emperor’s City in the name of the Star God, ready for his command.
Just one Treasure Toilet is clearly not enough.
Wu Wang suddenly felt an itch to build more.
Just then, a soft "Hm?" sounded nearby. Young Master’s figure slowly emerged from the evening mist, her eyes taking in Wu Wang’s creation. She had changed her attire, now wearing a rare pink-and-white short skirt. The straw-plaited sandals on her delicate feet added a touch of playfulness, and a teardrop-shaped pendant adorned her fair neck. From her still-damp long hair, it was clear she had bathed and changed before returning.
"Is this where you live in the lower realm?" Young Master asked, her voice full of curiosity.
Wu Wang smiled calmly. He silently levitated a wooden plank, wrote the word ’Women’ on it, and hung it in front of the Treasure Toilet.
"This is a toilet. A place for living beings to relieve themselves."
"Huh?" Surprise filled Young Master’s eyes. "Is such an exquisite place really necessary for mere waste elimination?"
"But of course," Wu Wang chuckled. "For any living being, excretion can bring a sense of relief and pleasure. It might sound a bit crude, but it’s an indispensable part of life."
Young Master laughed. "You! How can you find a grand reason for everything?"
"Well, what can I do?" Wu Wang shrugged. "I’m a reasonable being, after all."
"PFFT." She covered her mouth, stifling a laugh, her eyes glinting. Then, with her hands behind her back, she hopped in front of Wu Wang, bringing with her a gentle breeze and the intoxicating fragrance of her hair.
"Guess what I brought for you."
Wu Wang stood on his tiptoes to peer behind her, noticing her tightly clenched fists. He muttered, "It wouldn’t be seeds of some Divine Wood, would it?"
"You spied on me!?"
"Why would I spy on you? You’re a strong god of Heaven Palace," Wu Wang said with a laugh. "Didn’t you say earlier you wanted to plant trees, and then rushed back to your Divine Realm?"
Young Master sighed in relief. With a hint of pride, she extended her hands and carefully opened them. Seven or eight seeds lay in her palms—dry, shriveled, and uneven, not at all smooth or round.
"Are you really going to plant trees?" Wu Wang chuckled. "Regardless, thank you for your kind intentions. Let’s find a place to plant them."
She sensed the skepticism in his voice, which made her a little determined.
Young Master said, "I’ll plant them. You just watch."
With that, she turned and flew around Wu Wang’s statue, scattering the eight seeds at locations thirty li apart. Then, Young Master hovered before Wu Wang’s statue, took a purification bottle from her sleeve, and tapped it gently a few times. Eight drops of rich, green Wood Essence flew from the bottle and into the spots where the seeds were buried.
Instantly, eight enormous trees erupted from the ground! Three zhang, five zhang... thirty zhang, fifty zhang!
Wu Wang stared, dumbfounded, his mouth agape as he felt the incredibly dense life force of the wood.
How much life force must have been gathered to condense Wood Essence of this caliber? If old Senior Shen Nong saw Young Master so wantonly using Wood Essence to water trees, wouldn’t he...?
Suddenly, Wu Wang detected eight strange fluctuations. The eight massive trees rustled their dense branches, and their strongest boughs began to move, swaying up and down like arms. Beneath their thick trunks, roots began to contract, causing the ground to tremble.
A moment later, eight tree giants, each a hundred zhang tall, knelt on one ’root-knee’ upon the barren earth, bowing their heads to Young Master in homage.
"Awaiting... your... command."
Young Master said calmly, "At this moment, the purpose I bestow upon your existence is to guard this divine statue."
The eight tree giants responded in unison, their voices slow and deliberate. Then, they burrowed their lower halves back into the earth, facing Wu Wang’s statue, and stood silently.
"Well?" Young Master landed before Wu Wang, asking with a light laugh.
"To wield the Power of Living Beings to such a degree," Wu Wang couldn’t help but exclaim in admiration, "does this mean you’ve never really studied Divine Arts for dueling?"
"Well..." Young Master smiled, a little embarrassed, and gave a slight nod, thereby admitting it.
