The Ugly Duckling Of The Tiger Tribe-Chapter 122: He played quite an interesting game
After a moment of silence, I let out a small, quiet breath.
The unease in my chest didn’t vanish, but the certainty in Fenric’s words steadied me enough to stand straight.
I turned to Kaelor.
"It’s late."
If I wanted to leave the tribe without stirring yet another storm, then this couldn’t be rushed. I needed to watch my steps.
"Let’s call it a night. We... we’ll talk more about this tomorrow."
I turned to leave, but he called out, as if he couldn’t bear for us to part like this.
"Arinya."
The struggle in his voice hinted at so much more but he did not say those words. He did not say what he felt in his heart.
Rather, as I stopped and glanced over my shoulder, he looked at me with a painful gaze filled with regret.
Whatever he truly wanted to say, he swallowed it. He buried them deep where I could not see.
"Please don’t do anything reckless." He said, forcing a smile to show me he cared.
Yes, I know he cared but... If he cared, why did he not tell me about it when I was drowning in despair, thinking that my mother was one of them who had abandoned me?
He could say it was for my own good, that I was too young and I would make a mess if I found out but I don’t buy it.
Once again, I’m convinced by the fact that he wanted to have me at the palm of his hand– to control me. He wanted to be the only one I looked up to for safety, the only presence where I could give a warm sigh of relief, see him as my only friend, and the only one who truly cared about me while everyone else was the devil.
I don’t believe he kept it away from me for my own good.
He played quite an interesting game.
Without answering, I walked on, heading inside the cave.
Fenric glanced at Kaelor before walking in after me, but Damar stayed still, his cold gaze stayed on Kaelor, burning into his intentions and sending out quiet threats.
It was as if he wanted to make sure he left before going in as well, and only when he did, did Damar walk in.
Though the cave was dark, they could both see my fallen shoulders as I stood still, staring at the wall.
No, I wasn’t staring at the wall; my gaze was dropped to the floor, and my mind was spinning around.
This complex emotion in my heart wouldn’t go away.
No one told me.
No one even made an attempt.
Sure, not many people knew of my mother’s condition but still... How could they make me believe she had abandoned me?
Because the entire tribe hated me, I thought she, too, hated me for not being as graceful and pretty as she was.
I only ever heard that my mother was pretty.
I only ever heard the deep comparison with her and Veyra... So it was only natural that I... That I would...
My chest felt so heavy and without realizing it, tears rolled down my cheeks.
What was this emotion again?
It was too hard to ignore it even if I wanted to.
I felt like I was Arinya. No–not felt–I am Arinya.
And because I am her, these emotions cut through me so deeply that I can’t pretend they aren’t there.
I cleaned my eyes and glanced over my shoulder a little to find them still staring, waiting until I was ready to talk but I didn’t want to talk.
I...
"I’m tired," I said.
"Then let’s sleep," Damar said and then slid towards me. He wrapped his arms around me and curled his tail to serve as a bed for me.
I sat on it, resting my body on his arms.
He stroked my hair and I just wanted to curl my body, drawing my knees up as if I could make myself smaller.
The cave was quiet, wrapped in darkness so thick it felt like it pressed against my skin.
His arms wrapped around me were solid and warm, grounding in a way I didn’t realize I needed.
Across from us, Fenric sat with his back against the rock, one knee drawn up, the other stretched out.
He wasn’t resting or sleeping by my side. It was almost as if he wanted to stay watchful over the night, so his eyes never left me.
They glowed sharply in the dark, heavy with an unspoken worry.
I could feel both of them staring intensely at me, as if waiting for me to say a word, only then would they relax.
After everything, they must have thought my mind was unraveling in the dark.
And seeing my dropped shoulders earlier, I’m sure they noticed I was crying.
I didn’t want to burden them with worry. Their comfort was all I needed from them.
Before either of them could speak, I did.
"I’m fine."
The words came out too quickly.
Damar’s hold tightened, just slightly. Fenric’s jaw flexed.
"Yes," Fenric said quietly, his voice low. "You’re strong." He paused, his gaze softening. "But don’t hide, Arinya. It’ll hurt more if you do."
I swallowed, my fingers curling into Damar’s chest.
No, I feel it’ll hurt even more if I try to speak a word about how I feel right now.
I feel that if I open my mouth to speak, the words will suffocate me.
I’m scared.
I’m scared of these emotions.
I stayed silent and buried my face into Damar’s chest. I just wanted to close my eyes, fall asleep, and only worry about the rest tomorrow.
Once I wake up, I’m sure I’ll feel better.
I’m sure I’ll be okay.
But sleep did not come as easily as it had in the previous nights.
Even when emotionally and mentally exhausted, I could not find rest, because of these nagging emotions.
It was a heartache and a headache.
I wanted to sleep but couldn’t.
I tossed and turned on Damar, which interrupted his own sleep.
I didn’t want that to happen. So I got up.
"Where are you going, Ari?" He asked but I shook my head.
"Nowhere, I... I’ll just do some sewing... outside."
