The Mob Character Who Woke Up!-Chapter 67: Almost got caught
After the eccentric elf and his loyal servants had retreated towards the infirmary in complete defeat, Kaizen walked straight toward the Central Cafeteria with a genuine spring in his step.
Because he was absolutely convinced that today would go down in history as the day he delivered an insult so devastating and a rhetorical blow so brutal that it would haunt Jason Starlham for the rest of his mortal elf life.
He grabbed a plastic tray and slid it along the metal railing until he reached the serving station where Helga was presiding over her massive cauldron of gray nutrient paste with the stern authority of a dungeon boss guarding a legendary treasure chest.
"You are back already. How was the trip because you look like you actually slept for once in your miserable life?"
Helga grunted as she dropped a full ladle of slop onto his plate with a wet splat that sounded suspiciously like a slime monster hitting a stone wall.
Kaizen smiled brightly as he picked up a spoon because the free food smelled like absolute victory to him today.
"It was fantastic, Helga. The mountain air was fresh, the exercise was good for my weak body, and I genuinely feel like a new man."
Indeed he felt incredibly good today, well apart from the terrible bad luck in the form of his supposed professor for the next three years being a drunk mess who couldn’t do basic addition, he was actually feeling great especially with regards to completely destroying Lord Jason’s pride and possibly his ability to have children.
Helga narrowed her eyes slightly as she wiped her massive hands on her stained apron and leaned over the counter to look him directly in the eye.
"And how is your family doing? Did they like the visit?"
Kaizen paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth because his brain was so completely occupied with replaying his glorious victory against Lord Jason on repeat like a favorite movie scene that he had completely wiped his own fake backstory from his short term memory.
"Which family?"
Kaizen asked genuinely while blinking in total confusion like someone who had just been asked a question in a language they didn’t speak.
The air temperature around the serving station dropped approximately ten degrees instantly as Helga stopped wiping her hands and fixed him with a glare that could physically peel paint off the walls.
"The family you specifically said you were visiting day before yesterday morning when I gave you that packed lunch out of the goodness of my heart. The aunt you said you missed so much that you needed to see her immediately."
Helga narrowed her eyes even further like she was about to grab this twig of a boy and use him as a human ladle for stirring the cauldron.
Kaizen’s survival instincts finally kicked in properly and screamed at him to salvage this situation before he lost his precious free meal privileges forever.
"Oh! That family! My beloved aunt! Yes! She is doing absolutely great and she actually loved the sandwich you packed for me because she said it tasted exactly like home cooking from her childhood!"
Kaizen quickly conjured up the desperate lie while awkwardly laughing and smiling, scratching the back of his head nervously.
Helga was genuinely a scary woman, and Kaizen was actually surprised that the supposed S rank professor he met earlier felt like an idiot student with whom he did not even feel any fear towards, almost like he was completely at ease around the drunk bastard, meanwhile this simple cafeteria old lady was far more menacing and imposing than any boss he had fought!
It was completely ridiculous but Kaizen also knew from experience not to mess with cafeteria women! They have seen more shit than he has dumped in closets and they have zero tolerance for nonsense!
Helga stared at him for a long, agonizing moment while Kaizen held his breath and prayed desperately to the God of Deception and Lies.
She finally grunted, though her harsh expression softened just a fraction of a degree.
"Hmph. Do not lie to me again, kid, because I have been feeding liars in this cafeteria for twenty years and I can smell bullshit from a mile away even when the wind is blowing in the wrong direction."
’Oh shit! She found out! Damn! Is she going to kick my ass now or ban me from free food!’
But to his complete surprise, Helga just let out a tired sigh and scooped a second, significantly larger helping of the gray mash onto his plate and pointed her ladle at him like a deadly weapon.
"Eat every single bite and do not waste anything because you look like a twig that is about to snap in the wind."
"Yes, ma’am!"
Kaizen saluted like a soldier and scurried away to an empty table before she could ask for his aunt’s full name or complete medical history.
The cafeteria was mostly empty because the majority of the students at Zenith Academy had enough money to buy actual food that had real flavor and texture instead of eating institutional slop, so Kaizen ate his double portion of gray mash in peaceful silence while savoring his victory.
After scraping the plate completely clean and returning the tray to a slightly less suspicious Helga, he walked back toward the dormitory while humming a cheerful tune because life was finally looking up for him.
He slid his ID card through the reader and opened the door to Room 616, stepping inside to find that the room was blissfully quiet because his terrifying demon roommate was nowhere to be seen.
"Finally, some actual privacy."
Kaizen threw his backpack onto his bed and started to unbutton his uniform shirt because he desperately wanted to change into something comfortable.
He tossed his shirt into the laundry hamper and was reaching for a fresh t-shirt when a flash of bright yellow color on the other side of the room caught his eye.
On Klaus’s desk, which was usually covered in black parchment, forbidden grimoires with scary titles, and actual human skulls, there was a single, cheerful object that looked completely out of place in the demonic aesthetic.
It was a yellow sticky note. Kaizen would not have thought anything about it since Klaus was always writing and studying dark magic, but today something about that innocent sticky note felt fundamentally different and wrong.
Kaizen frowned and walked over to the desk because the idea of a literal Demon King candidate using office supplies was inherently hilarious and deeply suspicious at the same time.
He leaned in to read the elegant, flowing calligraphy that looked like it had been written with a quill dipped in actual blood, even though it was just regular black ink.
?!
Kaizen stared at the note, feeling a cold shiver running through his entire body like someone had dumped ice water down his spine, and the good mood from his earlier victory and full stomach evaporated instantly like water on a hot pan.
