The Last Esper [BL]-Chapter 38: With open arms

Eun-woo appeared in the doorway after a while. He stood there, silently looking around the room, as if hesitant to take another step. He remained like that for a while before turning around, intending to leave without a word.

"Don’t go," Rhys said.

Don’t leave me alone.

Eun-woo stopped instantly. His face reflected a mixture of guilt and doubt, his lips parted as if searching for something to say.

"This is all my fault... sorry." he said finally.

"Don’t do this," Rhys complained. "Don’t apologize, please. Don’t do it."

Rhys could feel the energy between them. It vibrated intensely, like a string stretching, contracting, and pulsing in the air. It was an inexplicable force that pulled them toward each other, as if the space between them refused to exist.

Eun-woo was the first to give in. He took a step, then another. He approached the bed cautiously and sat on the edge, never taking his eyes off Rhys, as if doing so might break that connection.

"If I hadn’t..."

"Don’t regret it!" Rhys exclaimed urgently. "Eun-woo, life is shaped by choices. If you made one, it’s because you were fully aware that it was the best option. You shouldn’t regret it. Ever. They’re your choices."

Energy erupted, and the room filled with color, floating like dust particles in a ray of sunlight. The colors enveloped Eun-woo, Rhys, both of them. Deep blues, soft golds, flashes of emerald.

It was so magical, and it only lasted a second. Just long enough to leave a lasting impression on both of their minds.

Rhys saw colors.

He didn’t just feel them.

He saw them.

And that was what made Eun-woo freeze in surprise. Because that energy, which he’d always thought was his own, incomprehensible and solitary, could be seen by Rhys.

"What was that?" Rhys asked in surprise.

Eun-woo looked down and clenched his fists.

"I don’t know, it’s just there," he murmured. "Sometimes it’s colors, other times smells, noises, sensations... Everything vibrates against my skin. Rhys, I’m scared. A lot. I can’t control it. Sometimes everything spins and spins, the room contracts, sounds torment me, colors attack me... I don’t know what to do with this... It’s..."

"Amazing," Rhys finished.

"Amazing?"

Rhys nodded.

"It’s overwhelming, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of. What you have... what you are... isn’t scary. It’s just new. And it’s okay to be afraid of new things."

Eun-woo opened his mouth to say something, but remained silent.

Then he felt Rhys’s good arm gently wrap around his waist. The movement was slow, even clumsy, because his other arm remained immobile, bandaged and battered between them. Rhys hugged him from behind, gently pressing his forehead against Eun-woo’s shoulder.

"You don’t have to carry all that alone," he murmured.

Eun-woo instantly tensed, afraid of hurting him.

"Your arm..." he whispered.

"It’s okay," Rhys said, though the slight tremor in his jaw betrayed the effort he was making to remain steady. "Just stay. Here. With me."

Eun-woo hesitated for a second longer, but then turned his torso slightly to reciprocate the hug. He leaned toward Rhys, and together they ended up lying on the bed.

Rhys was lying semi-sideways, his back propped up by the pillows, and Eun-woo settled in beside him, in a narrow space between his body and the edge of the mattress. He rested his head on his chest, avoiding his injured arm, and let the sound of Rhys’s heartbeat wash over him.

The colors had faded, but the warmth remained. It pulsed between them as if something invisible kept them connected.

Rhys closed his eyes. His wound hurt, but having Eun-woo there, breathing against his chest, made it worth every sting.

"Thanks for staying," he murmured.

And Eun-woo, for the first time in a long time, felt like his chaos could calm down.

At least, while he was there. With Rhys.

Rhys felt Eun-woo’s breathing against his chest, slow and calm. He knew he could stay that way. Pretend everything was okay, that nothing else mattered. But he couldn’t. Not when Eun-woo had made himself so vulnerable.

It wasn’t the right time. He knew it. Telling the truth could break something that was just beginning to build. It could push Eun-woo away, just now when he was finally close. But at the same time... it was the first time they were alone, so close, without bloodshed, without screaming, and without threats.

He had to tell Eun-woo the truth. If he didn’t do it now, it would be worse later.

He took a deep breath, holding back the trembling in his chest. He could hear his own heartbeat, each one louder than the last. He felt the words forming in his throat. And then he let them out. His voice low, but firm. Without drama. Without beating around the bush.

"The reason I showed up at your cell..." Rhys swallowed, "was to kill you. That was my mission. To assassinate you." He took a deep breath. Beside him, Eun-woo still didn’t move, but Rhys could sense that he was awake. That he was processing every word. "But when I saw you... when I saw you there, cowering in the corner, trembling... I couldn’t do it. Something inside me stopped."

Rhys clenched his jaw, fearing what might come next.

Eun-woo didn’t respond right away. He remained silent. The warmth between them was still there, but it was different. Thicker. More fragile.

Finally, Eun-woo barely raised his voice, without moving his head from his chest:

"You will," he said monotonously. "Promise me, Rhys. You’ll kill me if I ever lose control."

"Eun-woo..."

"Please," he sobbed. "Promise."

Rhys closed his eyes. For a moment, everything inside him went dark. The warmth between them, the relief of having spoken, even the faint hope he’d felt just minutes ago. None of that mattered in the face of those words.

Of all the possible answers... that was the last one he would have expected.

He thought Eun-woo would hate him, that he would turn his back on him, demand explanations, or push him away out of fear. But not this. Anything but this.

Rhys looked at him as if he were watching someone sinking in front of him, unable to swim, and instead of asking for help, he was asking to be left to drown.

"I’m not going to promise that," Rhys said finally.

Eun-woo blinked. A tear rolled down his cheek. He seemed about to retort, but Rhys interrupted him before he could say anything.

"I’m not going to accept that the only solution for you is to die."

"Rhys..."

"Listen to me, Eun-woo. You’re not a bomb. You’re not an uncontrolled weapon. You’re a person." He leaned in a little closer, ignoring the stabbing pain in his arm, and rested his forehead against Eun-woo’s. "I’m here. If everything goes to hell, I’ll be with you. I’ll stay until the end."

Eun-woo closed his eyes. His body was trembling.

"What if I hurt you?"

"I’ll endure it, but I’m not going to give up on you because I’m afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet."

Eun-woo slowly opened his eyes. His gaze no longer held the same desperate gleam as before.

"I don’t know if I can promise you I’ll never hurt you," he murmured.

"I don’t need you to promise me that you won’t hurt me," Rhys clumsily stroked Eun-woo’s back. "Because I know you won’t. I trust you. And if it ever happens... if you ever hurt me, I’ll take it with open arms. Because I’d rather that than not have you around."

Eun-woo lowered his head. He nodded, a small, almost childlike movement, and rested his forehead against Rhys’s neck, breathing deeply, as if only now could he allow himself to rest.

And Rhys, despite the pain in his arm, wrapped his arms around his back with the only hug he could give him. Because if Eun-woo was willing to stay... then so would he.

Until the end.

"I’m scared, Rhys," Eun-woo confessed. "I’m scared because of what I feel for you. I want to be close to you. So close. But I’m afraid of hurting you."

Rhys sucked in a breath. The weight of those words hit his chest. His eyes began to water. He swallowed.

"I’m scared too," he admitted. "Everything’s happening so fast... I don’t know how to protect you without hurting you. And on top of that... everyone expects you to bond with a Guide." He paused, lips trembling. "But the idea of someone else bonding with you... I can’t stand it."

Eun-woo looked at him.

"I’ve already chosen you, Rhys. I don’t care what anyone says. I want to bond with you."

"Things would be easier if I were a Guide..."

Eun-woo blinked. He looked at him as if he had just heard complete nonsense.

"But you are a Guide."

Rhys stared at him in disbelief.

"What are you talking about?"

"From the moment I saw you in that cell... I knew. I could feel it. That’s why I was afraid of you," Eun-woo admitted, lowering his gaze. "Some Guides tried to hurt me in the past. I thought you’d be like them. But you weren’t."

Rhys was speechless.

"But... Eun-woo, I come from a normal family. I’ve never felt anything special about the Rifts, nor any attraction to that energy. I don’t have a hidden power, I don’t feel like something inside me burns or guides me... I just feel something with you. Like a magnet. Like you’re calling me without saying a word."

Eun-woo nodded.

"Because you’re different. Because you’re not like the other Guides I knew. They were... I’m sorry, I don’t know how to explain it."

Rhys stared at him. His heart tightened under the weight of old scars, of the fear Magnus had instilled in him, of everything he’d been taught to fear. The fear of giving himself over to them. The fear of trusting.

But that fear, however great, was nothing compared to the panic of imagining Eun-woo walking away from him.

"Then... let’s bond," he whispered urgently. "Right now. Please."

Eun-woo stood still.

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