The Golden Age of Basketball-Chapter 230 - 116: Night of Rebounds

As a friend, Guoyang was pretty decent. He’d figured out Barkley’s little secret and didn’t broadcast it loudly to anyone or even mention it to his teammates.

But as an opponent, Gan Guoyang couldn’t let Barkley off the hook, so he just whispered in Barkley’s ear, "Charles, did you just go take a shit?"

Barkley did not respond directly; he tried to evade Guoyang, but in the second quarter’s latter half, when Guoyang began to guard Barkley, evasion was not an option.

Previously buoyant, the ’king’ Barkley immediately fizzled out upon Gan Guoyang’s return to the court—he missed his shots and couldn’t find his mark from the field.

Not only was his offense off target, but he couldn’t outrebound Guoyang either. Guoyang firmly held his position under the basket, protecting the defensive rebounds extremely well.

For two consecutive plays, Guoyang grabbed the rebounds, spurring the Trail Blazers on the counterattack, and Drexler scored on layups both times.

The Trail Blazers once again took the lead.

"I’m sorry Charles, was it my burger that did it? That bump just now, did it make you feel like you need to shit again?"

Guoyang didn’t let up on Barkley, using his accurate imagination to reconstruct the truth of the event.

Barkley couldn’t help but give Guoyang a shove, but he couldn’t budge him. When the ball was passed, Guoyang swooped in and stole it.

With a long pass to the frontcourt, Drexler fueled another fast break, finishing with a finger roll at the rim. The Trail Blazers followed that with a 6:0 run over the Bullets after a timeout.

"Don’t worry, Charles, I won’t tell anyone else. It’s just shitting on the court; you didn’t actually shit on the floor."

"Stop it, stop it, Sonny~" Barkley whispered, pushing Guoyang again, "Can’t we just play the game properly? I’m fine now! Don’t bring it up again, we’re friends!"

"Alright, alright, I promise not to mention it unless you expose it yourself. Of course, if someone from your team spills the beans that’s out of my hands."

"No one knows! Let’s play ball!"

Barkley tried his best to push away Guoyang and establish position in the post; his massive butt was truly formidable at setting a good position.

However, Guoyang’s low-post defense was also top-notch in the league. Barkley tried to tough it out against Guoyang but found his legs somewhat weak.

When he made his ’kingly’ return earlier, he’d scored seven points in quick succession. Now that breath of air had dissipated, and the weakness brought on by diarrhea struck him.

Initially, he thought the anti-diarrheal medication he took before the game would do the trick, but he didn’t expect that a collision with Guoyang in the first quarter, upon landing, would immediately bring a surge of urgency.

He collapsed on the floor and could not stand up because as soon as he did, if he relaxed his buttocks, he’d actually shit right there on the court.

Barkley, with an iron will, clenched tight and, with the help of the team doctor, slowly made his way back to the locker room, then told the doctor he was fine and just needed a little rest.

Afterwards, he went to the toilet to take care of business and changed his shorts before returning to the court in the second quarter.

He thought his performance was flawless, but somehow Guoyang had seen through him. Damn!

But true to his word, during the rest of the game, Guoyang did not bring up Barkley’s mid-game shit again.

However, every time they finished jostling under the basket, like when Guoyang secured a defensive rebound, he would glance over his shoulder at Barkley, which made Barkley extremely uncomfortable.

In the second quarter, after Barkley’s return, he failed to score again and couldn’t even grab a single rebound; Guoyang was dominating the boards alone.

By halftime, Guoyang had already racked up 16 rebounds, and he was on pace for a total of 30 for the game.

At the end of the first half, the score was 57:51 with the Trail Blazers leading the Bullets by six points.

The return of Barkley mainly boosted the team’s morale, but Coach Gus Williams noticed Barkley’s quietness afterward and wondered if the kid was still not fully recovered.

Deciding not to pass to Barkley anymore, Williams increased his own attack frequency; with Valentine out that day, Kolter and Parkson couldn’t compare to him.

Williams had exceedingly smooth offensive moves and excellent mid-range shooting. His fast-break abilities were strong and during the championship season with the Seattle SuperSonics, his solo counterattacks earned the nickname "one-man fast break." He would often take the ball from the backcourt and storm all the way to the basket for a direct score or finish with a sudden pull-up jumper, not distributing the ball first like other point guards.

But this didn’t mean Williams was a ball hog; his unexpected passes in the paint made it difficult for opponents to defend. His no-look behind-the-back passes were as spectacular as those of Magic Johnson.

That’s why people called him "Wizard."

Gan Guoyang and Gus Williams had been teammates in the Olympic vs. All-Star Team game.

Back then, Williams had fed him several stunning no-look passes, easily facilitating Gan’s scoring.

Guards skilled in both attack and distribution were the most terrifying; they are often the nightmare of interior defenders, who are left uncertain whether to commit or not, unable to predict the guard’s next move.

Under the leadership of Williams, the Bullets kept the score close in the first half.

However, they were proud of the frontcourt combination they prepared for the Boston Celtics, which was thrown into disarray by Gan.

Of Gan’s 16 rebounds in the first half, 7 were offensive, and despite the Bullets playing reasonably well in both offense and defense on their home court, they couldn’t cope with such a loss on the boards.

During halftime, Coach Gene Shue inquired about Barkley’s physical condition, who said he was fine, just a little knee pain.

Shue suggested if Barkley felt uncomfortable in his knee in the second half, it might be better not to play. Health is more important.

Barkley shook his head, insisting he would compete for rebounds in the second half and not let Ah Gan get so many.

But as soon as the second half began, and Barkley saw the smile on Guoyang’s face as he looked at him, Barkley felt insanely frustrated inside.

If only Guoyang had openly mocked him, but this barely contained glee was even worse than killing Barkley.

He even thought about just dropping his pants right there on the court and taking a dump, making a huge scene—wouldn’t that cover up the little act of faking an injury he had just pulled?

After the third quarter started, the fierce competition gradually dissuaded Barkley from this idea, and he fully invested himself in the battle for rebounds against Gan Guoyang.

Barkley, when up against most interior players, was disadvantaged in height, but what he relied on was his strength, speed, anticipation of where the ball would land, and, most importantly, his passion for rebounding.

Many players lack passion for rebounds, their thoughts racing to get into the fast break or to retreat on defense as quickly as possible; after all, going for rebounds is tough work, it drains a lot of stamina, and you have to physically fight in the paint for positioning.

Barkley had boundless energy and passion for chasing rebounds, which is why even as a rookie, he was already one of the best rebounders in the League.

But tonight, against Gan Guoyang, he was up against the best rebounder in the League, bar none.

Gan Guoyang was not only taller than Barkley, he was stronger than Barkley, almost equal in speed, and matched him in predicting the ball’s landing spot.

As for the passion for rebounds, Gan Guoyang was more than willing to engage in a game of rebound competition with his good friend tonight, letting Drexler, Parkson, and Thompson take most of the shooting opportunities.

Barkley, despite suffering from diarrhea, was at a disadvantage in the rebounding battle but gritted his teeth and managed to snag some offensive boards from Gan Guoyang’s clutches.

As their numbers of rebounds kept accumulating by the end of the third quarter, Gan Guoyang had already grabbed 26 rebounds, and Barkley had secured 14.

This was the clash of the rebounding monsters, and the rest of the Bullets and Trail Blazers players didn’t have to worry about rebounds, going all out in the offensive and defensive transitions.

For a while, the game was played at an incredibly fast pace, captivating the audience, but the shooting accuracy was not up to par.

Coming into the decisive fourth quarter, Barkley and the Bullets’ frontcourt were barely hanging on.

Gan Guoyang, like a beast, used his strength and explosiveness to wreak havoc in the Bullets’ key, relentlessly chasing down offensive rebounds.

Rick Mahorn, Barkley, and Ruland all failed to stop Gan Guoyang, and in the middle of the fourth quarter, Ruland twisted his ankle upon landing, injuring himself shortly after his return to the game.

It looked like he really should have followed Gan Guoyang’s advice and switched his Nikes to Avias.

Gene Shue and Jack Ramsey were also very worried on the sidelines, as injuries were more likely to occur towards the end of the season.

Fortunately, Gan Guoyang and Barkley were both as tough as iron, with Gan Guoyang driving his rebound count to an astonishing 37 by the final quarter!

Which was just as many as the number of burgers Barkley had consumed.

It was the second time this season that Gan Guoyang had collected 30+ rebounds in a single game.

He matched the record set by Moses Malone in 1979, when he grabbed 37 rebounds against the New Orleans Jazz.

Charles Barkley finished the game with a whopping 20 rebounds, showing remarkable determination despite his diarrhea.

And the high number of rebounds meant that tonight, the shooting from both teams was somewhat poor.

The Trail Blazers couldn’t help it; consecutive road games had worn out the players.

Without Vandeweghe, Drexler’s shots from the outside hit iron, and Gan Guoyang kept fishing for rebounds.

The Bullets played with abandon, and the low shooting percentage from both sides contributed to Gan Guoyang’s night of rebounds.

In the end, Gan Guoyang with 22 points, 37 rebounds, and 3 blocked shots, led the Trail Blazers to a 101:95 victory in Washington. 𝑓𝘳𝘦𝑒𝑤𝑒𝘣𝘯ℴ𝘷𝘦𝓁.𝑐𝑜𝑚

After the game ended, Barkley, without looking back, headed straight to the players’ tunnel, and Gan Guoyang hurried after him, saying, "Charles! Don’t go, are you rushing to the bathroom?"

Barkley had no choice but to stop, lowering his voice, "Sonny, I’d advise you better not bring this up again!"

Reporters were already approaching, and Gan Guoyang said, "Are you threatening me?"

Barkley said fiercely, "No! I’m begging you!"

"I’ve already made my promise, and I never go back on my word."

"It’s a deal."

"Do you still want to eat burgers?"

Barkley looked at Gan Guoyang as if he’d seen a ghost and waddled back to the locker room with his big behind.

[’Alright, I admit it, I’m going to reveal a secret! The thing is, during that 1985 game between the Bullets and the Trail Blazers, I got injured and left the court in the first quarter, then made a ’kingly return’ to score seven points in the second quarter. Actually, it was a scam! I wasn’t injured; I had eaten 37 burgers the night before and the diarrhea hit me after Gan bumped into me—I almost shit my pants out on the court!’

’I had to pretend to be injured and go off to the bathroom to take a dump, then staged a grand ’kingly return.’ The play was perfect, except that damn Gan saw right through it! He came right up to me asking if I just went to poop? You see, he’s the one who made those 37 burgers for me!’

The studio erupted in laughter, with Barkley’s co-host Kenny Smith laughing so hard he couldn’t straighten up.

Smith: "Charles, did Gan keep threatening you with this after that? I remember him grabbing 37 rebounds in that game, exactly the same number of burgers you ate, right?"

’No, no, that’s not it. Gan’s not that kind of guy. Although in the second half he occasionally looked at me with a smirk that made me very uncomfortable, and even taunted me after the game. But he swore to me he would never tell anybody about it, and later on in our games, he never used it against me on the court. Until today when I spoke up, no third person knew.’

’Looks like Gan is pretty loyal to you.’

’No, it’s because the guy has other ways of holding me hostage; he’s a damned devil.’

The studio audience, full of retired players, nodded in agreement.]

————In 2012, on a Turner television program, Barkley "self-exposed" his embarrassing kingly return from the past.