The Divine Doctor And A Common Farmer-Chapter 1626 - 1713: Since Love Hurts So Much
The things I want to say, I dare not say; the questions I want to ask, I dare not ask. This is Ah Lian. If not for her status, if not for these concerns, she truly wishes she could muster the courage to ask the young master what he truly thinks.
Why, if love is so painful, do we persist in loving? For someone as outstanding as the young master, finding a woman should be easy, yet why is he captivated by just this one person?
Clearly, loving like this only brings him suffering, yet he remains resolute and unchanged.
And why can’t he... let go?
Why can’t he release his grip?
Just one step back, and the sky would be wide open, allowing the young master himself much more ease.
But why... why doesn’t he?
Ah Lian took a deep breath, as if trying to bury these thoughts deep inside her heart. No matter what she thinks inwardly, in front of the young master, she can only ever be his most loyal and capable subordinate, always... just this.
Inside, she smiled bitterly, but on the surface, there was nothing but tranquility.
Qinghe didn’t know what Ah Lian truly felt inside. He only knew that whenever he thought about what that woman was doing, whether she was in the arms of other men, whether she was being gentle and tender with them, whether she was smiling for them—jealousy flared uncontrollably within him, threatening to drive him mad! 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝙚𝙬𝓮𝙗𝒏𝙤𝒗𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝒐𝓶
His face kept changing, turning dark or ashen. His tightly clenched fists showed protruding veins.
Yet, no matter how jealous he was, in the end, he could only sigh in disappointment.
What else could he do?
At least for now, he still had no better solution!
Using power to suppress others? The Prime Minister is watching from afar, while Her Majesty the Empress’s secret factions and the Ancient Tribe Aristocratic families are lying in wait.
As for using force to intimidate others? That’s even more laughable. Even as conceited as Qinghe might be, he must admit that he alone is no match for those men.
"Ha..." he laughed, with an expression full of bitterness, "I truly don’t know whether to be pleased or angry," her eyes have such good taste, otherwise, she wouldn’t... wouldn’t have chosen those men.
His heart was heavy with melancholy, and Qinghe drank the hot tea in his cup in one gulp. The scalding tea flowed down his esophagus like burning fire. It hurt, but the more it hurt, the more it allowed him to feel he was truly alive.
Alive...
Maybe his proclivities were not his true nature. Instead, he needed those extreme things to stimulate himself; so as not to lose himself in this endless night, so as not to gradually forget that he is still human, so as not to one day become numb and desensitized, a living corpse...
What he’s doing is merely trying to guard this heart, maintain this body’s will, preserve this foundation for survival!
"Young Master..."
Ah Lian glanced at Qinghe worriedly. "You..." She always has a feeling that he is treading a path of daggers and fire, like walking barefoot on a tightrope high above, where any slight misstep might result in him shattering to pieces... The facade he’s desperately maintaining, no one knows how much effort it costs him.
Even Ah Lian, who spends every day and night with him, must admit he isn’t really a good person.
But who knows?
He actually doesn’t want to be a bad person!
That’s why he struggles to grasp his own sanity, trying to keep himself clear-headed, though the results, honestly... are negligible.
