The Dirty Affairs of a Vampire and His Horny Stepmom-Chapter 51: Dialogue concerning the two chief world systems
«Are you sure that story about you two not really being together, but only pretending so you could get close to me, is true? Because looking at you now, you really seem like a couple who just got back together,» Kimberly grumbles.
Well, it’s hard to blame her... Naomi is practically gloating, clinging to my arm like a monkey to a branch, with a radiant smile plastered across her face, while the three of us walk through Central Park.
It’s just past nine in the morning and, with Naomi still seeming a bit dazed from the weed and the alcohol, I don’t feel right about going back to school and leaving her alone — while Kimberly has no intention of leaving me alone even for a moment. Not even when, out of nowhere, Naomi and I start making out every now and then without any warning does Kimberly leave us in peace.
I had hoped that making her feel like the third wheel would push her to back off, at least for a couple of hours, but by now it’s clear she’s my shadow — it’s already a miracle she doesn’t follow me straight into my house.
«It’s all true, Jace and I are just friends,» Naomi answers with a tipsy smile — the kind you have when you’re half-drunk. «He asked me to pretend to be his girlfriend so he could get close to you without setting off any alarms. And well, as crazy as his idea sounded, I’d say it worked. But now I’m curious — what was your first time with him like? Did he make you squirt like a fountain, huh?»
At those words, Kimberly’s face turns a fiery red with embarrassment, and I’m even more shocked than she is.
Naomi is definitely not the type to blurt out things like that — clearly the alcohol has made her far more foul-mouthed than usual.
«O-Our first time...?» Kimberly stammers, flustered. «A-As Jace already told you, we... we’re not together and we’ve never done anything like that...»
«I get that you’re not together, but honestly I don’t see what the problem is. Jace and I were never a couple either, yet we fucked a bunch of times. Life’s too short to hold back on something as good as sex! I know your religion treats it like a taboo, but think about it: if it were really wrong, why do you think the God of Light created us this way? The pleasure you get from sex — especially with someone like Jace — is the most intense joy a woman’s body can experience. Why should it be wrong to enjoy what the God of Light allowed us to feel? If it were wrong, sex would be painful, not pleasurable. Do you see what I mean?»
Even though her words are slurred and confused, Naomi’s reasoning is so straightforward and concise that it’s impossible to contradict, even for a devotee of the God of Light like Kimberly.
With every word Naomi says, Kimberly turns redder and redder — by now she really looks like a tomato wearing a blonde wig.
«My body is the most precious gift the God of Light has given me, and I intend to keep it pure and intact until I find the right person... for me, but also for my future boyfriend. No man would be happy knowing his fiancée had fun with half the world before giving herself to him!» Kimberly replies.
«Oh, as if having a bit of experience could really bother your hypothetical future boyfriend — more experience means more pleasure for your partner. You can be as pretty as you want, but if you don’t satisfy him properly, he’ll look elsewhere,» Naomi comments.
God, those are the exact words I would’ve said — now do you see why I think Naomi is my female counterpart?
«Oh, by the way, Jace, would you like to come over to my place later? There’s someone I’d really like you to meet,» Naomi adds.
Yeah, sure — the same old excuse. She’s probably still a bit uncomfortable after the fight we had to directly invite me to spend the morning fucking like in the old days, and this is her way of admitting she misses my cock like crazy, or maybe she just avoided being too blunt so as not to embarrass Kimberly even more.
«I hope this "someone" you want me to meet isn’t your new boyfriend...» I comment with a smirk.
«Jace, stop talking bullshit!» she grumbles, giving me a light elbow in the side. «They’re relatives of mine who temporarily moved in with me because of... uh, let’s say family problems. They arrived just last night, but since we haven’t been talking lately, obviously you couldn’t have known.»
Actually, I already knew — she told Tyler while I was eavesdropping on their phone call from the bathroom door. But it’s probably best not to tell her — I don’t want to look like a stalker.
«What do you say we go right now? I’m sure they’d be thrilled to meet you,» Naomi adds. «And of course you’re invited too, Kimberly.»
If she invited Kimberly as well, then maybe the relatives thing isn’t just an excuse to drag me back to her place and make up for lost time. Or maybe... she wants to involve Kimberly in our little erotic games?
It probably won’t happen — but if it does...
In any case, it doesn’t matter, since Kimberly politely declines without giving a specific reason, brushing us off with a vague excuse, like having something important to do soon — even though I’m sure that’s just an excuse and that she’ll stay nearby, ready to pounce on me again the moment I set foot outside.
I doubt she suspected that Naomi had indecent intentions; otherwise, I doubt she would’ve stayed so calm.
Anyway... finally, some breathing room!
And to think that not long ago I would’ve given a million dollars to spend every single day with her, while now that I can’t shake her off even for a second... I’d give a million just to go back to being complete strangers!
No, come on, I’m joking — Kimberly is a girl with a heart of gold, more beautiful than anyone else, and just as sweet and intelligent. Let’s just say she’s very, very overbearing, but I guess that’s because of her role as my watchdog.
Naomi’s house isn’t far from where we are now and it only takes a few minutes on foot to reach it. But as soon as we arrive, Kimberly hastily says goodbye and leaves — not before shooting me a silent warning glare and then leaning in for a moment to whisper in my ear: «For a while I’ll really have an important commitment and I won’t be able to keep an eye on you — don’t you dare betray the trust I’m placing in you.»
Damn... what exactly does she expect me to do? Slaughter Naomi’s relatives?! Come on, she should know by now — I’m a good guy... for a vampire!
