The Bride Of The Devil-Chapter 59: Shutting Yourself From The World

Lydia sat on the edge of her bed, sobbing quietly. Her face was buried in her hands, her shoulders shaking gently with each breath. The room was quiet except for her soft cries. She tried to hold it in, but it was too much. Her chest ached. Her heart felt heavy. Everything had come crashing down, and now she was alone, left to drown in the pain.

The door creaked open slowly. A maid stepped inside, carrying a tray. As soon as she saw Lydia awake and sitting up, she gasped.

"Her Highness is awake!" she cried, and hurried out again.

Lydia quickly wiped her tears, trying to act like she hadn’t been crying. But her swollen eyes and pale face told the truth.

In no time, the room filled with people. Katherine rushed in first, followed by Tatiana and some of the older maids. Katherine walked straight to her side and knelt down, her voice soft and full of concern.

"Are you alright?" she asked, her hand gently touching Lydia’s arm.

Lydia gave a small nod, not saying a word.

Tatiana stepped forward, worry written all over her face. "Do you need anything? Water? Food? Just say the word, we’ll get it."

But Lydia wasn’t listening. Her eyes kept scanning the faces in the room. She searched the crowd, hoping to see him.

But Ivan wasn’t there.

Her heart sank lower.

Tatiana noticed. She turned to the others and gave a soft but firm command. "Everyone, please step out. Let her personal maids help her get ready."

The room cleared out, leaving just the girls Lydia trusted the most. The maids quietly began to prepare her bath. They moved gently, careful not to disturb her more than needed. Still, Lydia barely reacted. Her thoughts were somewhere far away.

---

Meanwhile, in another part of the palace, Ivan stood in his study, staring out the window. The sky outside was dull and gray, matching the weight in his heart. His hands were deep in his pockets, and his jaw was clenched tight. He hadn’t moved for a long time.

The door opened behind him.

Tatiana walked in slowly, stopping a few feet from him. She didn’t say anything at first. She simply stood there, watching his back. freēnovelkiss.com

"She’s awake," she said softly.

He didn’t turn around. Didn’t say anything. His silence was louder than words.

Tatiana’s eyes narrowed with sadness. "Why don’t you go see her?"

Ivan’s shoulders tightened. He took in a deep breath but still didn’t turn around.

"I don’t deserve to," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I made her suffer. I brought her pain. If I go near her now... I’ll only hurt her more."

He paused, as if trying to stop the tears threatening to fall. His voice cracked.

"Everything I touch... it gets ruined. Maybe I really am sin, like they said. Maybe it’s better if I stay away."

Tatiana stood frozen, her eyes stinging with tears. She had known Ivan for so long, but seeing him like this—so broken, so lost—it made her chest hurt.

He wasn’t the cold-hearted man people thought he was. No. He was just a man carrying too much pain, too much guilt. And now, he was blaming himself again... locking himself away from someone he loved.

All Tatiana could feel was pain.

---

Back in Lydia’s chambers, she stepped into the bath slowly. The water was warm, mixed with scented oils. Steam filled the air, but even that didn’t bring her comfort. Her body sank gently into the tub, but her mind was not at ease.

One of the maids accidentally knocked over a small glass bottle. It hit the floor and shattered.

Lydia flinched. Her eyes widened.

She held her breath.

Even something so small sent shivers down her spine. The sound reminded her of something—something sharp and violent. Her heart raced. She held onto the sides of the tub tightly, trying to calm herself.

But it wasn’t just the broken glass.

All day, everything seemed to frighten her. The wind howling outside. The slow creak of the doors. Even the rustling of her dress. It all made her jump.

She couldn’t stop seeing it.

The image of her parents dying—blood, screams, and the face of the scarred man. It kept coming back, again and again. It played in her head like a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from.

She hadn’t left her room all day. Every time she thought of stepping out, her legs froze. Her body wouldn’t move.

But as the sky turned dark, and the time for dinner came, she stood in front of her mirror. She clenched her fist tightly.

"I can’t stay scared forever," she whispered to herself.

She looked at her reflection, her eyes tired and red. "I have to face him... or he’ll think I’m afraid of him."

She didn’t want Ivan to think that. Not after everything.

With slow, shaky steps, she walked out of her chambers.

---

In the dining hall, Tatiana was already seated, waiting.

When Lydia walked in, everyone turned to look. Her presence brought a strange silence. Tatiana’s expression changed as soon as she saw her. It was unreadable—part worry, part guilt, and something else Lydia couldn’t quite name.

Then, Ivan entered.

He looked tired. His eyes met Lydia’s for a brief second, but he looked away just as quickly. He took a seat across from her.

The dinner started.

But it was painfully quiet.

The only sounds were the soft clinking of dishes and the gentle steps of servants moving around.

Lydia tried her best to stay calm. She sat straight, hands on her lap. But her fingers wouldn’t stop trembling. She tried not to look at anyone. She didn’t want them to see how scared she still was.

But everything scared her.

The clinking of the wine glass.

The way a spoon hit the plate.

Even when a servant poured wine and a drop spilled onto the table—it looked like blood to her.

Her breath caught in her throat.

She was trying. She really was. But her body was shaking. Her mind wasn’t ready.

Tatiana reached out to touch her hand, gently asking, "Are you alright?"

But that was the moment Lydia broke.

She flinched away, her chair scraping loudly as she stood up suddenly. Everyone froze.

Her eyes were wide with fear, her lips trembling. She looked like she was about to faint.

Katherine stood up quickly and walked to her.

"Come," she said gently, wrapping an arm around her. "Let’s go back."

Lydia didn’t say a word. She allowed Katherine to guide her out.

And then the room fell silent again.

Now, only Ivan and Tatiana remained.

Ivan didn’t touch his food. He just drank, slowly and steadily, his eyes fixed on the table like he wasn’t really there.

Tatiana stared at him, pain swelling in her chest.

Finally, she snapped.

Tears filled her eyes, and she slammed her hand on the table.

"I can’t believe you’re doing this to yourself because of that foolish girl," she said bitterly.

Ivan didn’t look up.

"If she knew she couldn’t handle you, why did she marry you?" Tatiana continued, her voice shaking. "Why did she say yes? Why did she—"

"Watch your mouth," Ivan said sharply.

His voice cut through the air like a blade.

Tatiana froze, stunned by his tone. He had never spoken to her like that before.

But she wasn’t done.

"You’re doing it again!" she cried. "Shutting yourself out from the world because of her! Locking yourself up and drinking yourself to sleep—why?! I thought you were finally healing. I thought you were getting better."

Ivan looked up at her, his eyes tired and full of pain.

"If you can’t handle it," he said, "then leave."

He took another drink. His tone was calm now, too calm.

"Don’t act like I was ever a happy person," he added. "I’ve always been this way. You know that."

Tatiana shook her head, tears falling freely now. She whispered, "I just wanted you to be happy."

Ivan looked at her gently this time.

"Please don’t take it out on her," he said softly. "She’s not the one to blame. She’s hurting. That’s all."

Tatiana turned away, wiping her tears. She didn’t say anything else. She couldn’t. Her words had hurt, and she knew it. She had let her anger speak.

She walked out slowly, leaving Ivan alone.

He sat there in silence, staring at the glass in his hand.

In his heart, he wanted nothing more than to hold Lydia. To tell her it was okay. But he believed he wasn’t the man she needed.

And Lydia, sitting alone in her chambers, believed the same.

They were both hurting.

And both afraid to reach out.

Yet deep down, their hearts were still reaching for each other—aching, waiting.

And somehow, still full of love.

---

Far away from the palace, beyond the quiet hills and frozen fields, a royal messenger on horseback finally reached the outskirts of Svetlana. His coat was soaked with snow, his lips pale from the biting cold. But clutched tightly in his gloved hand was a sealed letter from the Czar himself. The night was harsh, the wind howling like wolves through the trees, but the message he carried could not wait for morning.

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