The Archduke's Songbird-Chapter 171: What Matters

Jessamyn bit her tongue, holding back the storm of thoughts racing through her mind. She wasn’t supposed to reveal what she had learned from the council to others.

Lycaon Wulfhednar was celebrated as the savior of Ayberia, the one destined to restore the kingdom to its former glory. Yet, the general public remained oblivious to the true lore of Gemma Luna. This secret knowledge was confined to priests and the Archons, or so her master had informed her.

She was surprised Jerrick had no inkling about Gemma Luna, but then again, his interests lay elsewhere.

Blinking, she scrambled to find a way out of her predicament. "It’s nothing," she waved her hand dismissively. "Just something I read in one of those romance novels... I must have confused it with reality," she said with a grimace.

Jerrick’s unblinking stare made her feel like she was on trial for a grave offense. "Romance novel? Was it one of those erotic books you used to sneak out to the garden to read?" he asked, his lips curving into a teasing smirk.

"Not all of them were erotic," Jessamyn pressed her lips together, feeling her face burn with embarrassment. She knew she was blushing.

She had jumped out of the frying pan into the fire.

"Yeah, not all. Some had pictorial illustrations leaving nothing to the imagination. It wasn’t just erotic. It was..."

"When are you leaving?" Jessamyn interrupted with a scoff, turning away from him. She didn’t want to discuss that with him.

She almost retorted that he should have read some of those books to keep Imogen away from "female hysteria," but she held back at the last minute. She didn’t want to wade into those waters now, remembering the last time. The memory was still vivid and unpleasant.

"We are leaving the day after tomorrow." Jerrick enunciated the ’we.’ He was not willing to leave her alone even for a day.

"Can I stay here for some days? You can have your men guard me..." Jessamyn looked at him with pleading eyes.

She had just gotten the villa to herself, and she wanted to stay in a place she was comfortable with for some days.

"We have to make arrangements for the wedding," Jerrick said. Her lack of interest in the wedding was obvious, and it sliced his heart.

"The wedding... will happen," she said. Somehow, she was reminded of the conversation she had with him the other day. It went nowhere. He was not going to listen to her. She didn’t know why she was asking him. "Never mind..." she said, heading to the kitchen.

She cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes. There weren’t many left, and she finished in a short time. Just as she turned to dry the dishes, she yelped at the appearance of a dark figure at her side.

"How long were you standing there?" she asked, patting her chest. That man walked like a cat. She hadn’t even realized he was standing behind her.

"You want to stay here for some days?" he asked, leaning casually on the wall. The light of the lamp cast a shadow that darkened half of his face, but his eyes were glistening.

"Yes..." she said. Saying the truth might not give her anything, but she did it anyway. "Alone," she added to make her point clear.

In just a month, she would become the Archduchess. She would have to live in Theodulf Castle, a place she hated, and would have to carry out numerous duties as the mistress of the fort. She had just let Joar rest, and she needed some quiet to prepare herself for the responsibilities that lay ahead.

"Stay then..." His voice trailed as he looked at the floor.

The plate in Jessamyn’s hand almost slipped, and she gripped it tight. She had a feeling he hadn’t finished talking and observed him.

His tender eyes landed on her, his expression somber. "I’ll make myself scarce to you until you decide to leave."

Jessamyn was taken aback by the unexpected gentleness in his tone. The weight of his words hung in the air, and she felt a pang of guilt mixed with relief. She wanted to thank him, to say something that would express the complexity of her feelings, but all she could manage was a nod.

Jerrick pushed off the wall and approached her, his gaze unwavering. "Jessamyn," he said softly, "I just want you to know that I’ll always be nearby if you need me."

With that, he turned and left the kitchen, leaving Jessamyn standing there, a whirl of emotions swirling inside her. She watched his retreating figure. She didn’t know what he was trying to do, but after he said that he was not going to leave her alone, his actions only made her feel safe around him.

"I’ll ask Ethan to prepare for your stay," she said.

Jerrick stopped. "That won’t be necessary. I’ll stay in the forest with my men," he said without looking at her and walked away.

Jessamyn felt a pang of guilt seeing his retreating figure. "No, it’s not... Your legs! You cannot stay out in the open," she said.

"I am a warrior, Jessamyn. I am used to staying out in the open."

Jessamyn followed him to the drawing room. He did walk fast. "It’s not the same now. Why do you insist on staying here? Your man can protect me just as well."

"My man?" Jerrick turned to face her.

"Yes, that tall man, the one who is taller than Bernard even. I saw him out there near the gates earlier. Can I offer him dinner? Or is he staying in a tavern?" she asked.

"Filbert?" Jerrick let out a deep breath and walked to her.

Jessamyn almost took a step back, but she stood her ground. Jerrick pinched her cheeks gently, forcing her to look into his eyes.

"Do you honestly think Filbert can protect you as well as I? Really?" he furrowed his brows.

Jessamyn’s thoughts went to the times she almost died and how Jerrick’s presence saved her life. Surely, no one else could protect her that way.

"I am not leaving you alone, Jessamyn. I do not possess the strength to hold your unconscious body in my arms anymore..." His voice broke as he spoke.

"Stop it, Jerrick!" Jessamyn pushed his hand away. "You speak as if you’re in love with me."

"Does it matter, Jessamyn? Does it matter what my feelings toward you are?" he scoffed. "Even if I told you that I am in love with you, will it make any difference? Can you accept my love? Why are you talking about love?"

His eyebrows twitched as he tried to rein in his emotions. Jessamyn could see the turmoil in his eyes, a mixture of anger, frustration, and something deeper that she didn’t want to acknowledge. But he was right.

"You’re right. It matters not. Because I cannot love you ever," she said.

Jerrick gulped and stared at her, his eyes glistening. He nodded his head slightly and turned away, his shoulders slumping with the weight of her words.