The Archduke's Songbird-Chapter 158: He is Here

Jessamyn sat by Joar’s grave, her eyes closed as if trying to summon the courage to speak. She usually found comfort in these moments, but today, guilt rendered her silent. Her heart ached, and words seemed too feeble to express the depth of her sorrow.

"A lot happened..." she finally whispered, her voice trembling. "Oh, Joar... forgive me..."

The tears she had been holding back for so long burst forth at the sound of his name. Joar had loved her unconditionally, cherishing her for who she truly was. He had waited for her his entire life, and she couldn’t even wait for seven years, let alone the rest of her own.

"I am so, so sorry I am weak, Joar... I do not deserve your love... I do not... I am sorry I am not the woman you thought I was. I am a weak, useless woman who deserves every bad thing happening to me..."

She sat there, her body racked with sobs, pouring her heart out to the one person who could no longer respond. She believed he was somewhere near, listening to her, but she didn’t want consolation.

She knew she had committed a grave mistake and sought no comfort, no gentle reassurances. If she wanted consolation, she could have spoken to someone who would coddle her, but the stark truth was, that she had no such person in her life.

That realization made her sob even harder. She felt utterly alone, isolated in her grief and guilt. She had no one to lean on, no one to understand the depths of her despair.

Jessamyn’s tears fell onto the earth, mingling with the dirt, as if trying to reach Joar somehow, to seek his forgiveness in the only way she knew how.

Her heart ached with the weight of her mistakes. The love she shared with Joar, once a source of strength and joy, now felt like a distant memory, tainted by her actions. She had betrayed the man who had loved her more than life itself, and that knowledge was an unbearable burden.

She remained by the grave, her sobs the only sound in the quiet, still air. The world around her seemed to fade away, leaving her in a cocoon of sorrow and regret. All she could do was grieve for the love she had lost and the woman she had failed to become.

Hugging her knees and leaning on his grave, she eventually fell asleep, her tears leaving dried tracks on her cheeks.

"Jessamyn..."

She stirred, hearing a gentle, familiar voice that seemed to reach her from a distant memory.

"Come, eat something..."

Jerrick’s voice pulled her back to the present. He knelt beside her, his eyes filled with concern.

She wiped at her tear-stained face, blinking up at him. The pain in her heart was still raw, but Jerrick’s presence was a small comfort in her turmoil.

"Here," he said softly, holding out a piece of bread and some cheese. "You need to keep your strength up."

She took the food reluctantly, her hands trembling. The simple act of eating felt monumental as if she were betraying Joar’s memory by taking care of herself. But Jerrick’s insistence was gentle and unwavering.

"He wouldn’t like it if you’re in pain like this," he said softly, his eyes lingering on the grave.

Jerrick had left her alone, hoping that Joar would make his presence known, and offer her some comfort. But Joar hadn’t appeared, leaving Jessamyn to cry out her pain in solitude. He wondered if he should draw the sigil to summon Joar’s spirit, but he hesitated. Maybe Joar had already moved on.

Jerrick didn’t know what to feel. He had hoped bringing her here would help her move on, give her closure. But without Joar’s presence, would this visit help Jessamyn heal, or would it plunge her back into despair? Had he made a mistake?

Jessamyn managed a small, grateful smile, though it was fleeting. Usually, it would be Isadora trying to comfort her and she would find a way to send her away. Jerrick was on another level and she knew he won’t leave her alone until he got what he wanted.

She nibbled at the bread, her thoughts still a tangled mess of grief and guilt. The food, though simple, seemed almost foreign, a reminder of the life she had to continue living without Joar. She couldn’t taste it.

Jerrick watched her, his heart aching for her. He reached out, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. "The house is cleaned. Do you want to come in and have a look?" he asked.

Jessamyn shook her head. "Did you eat? You can stay in the Beaumont Castle~"

"I am staying with you..." he interjected her.

She could be insistent and adamant. He would do the same. He would persist and bring her with him.

"I am here. Whether you like it or not, I am here..." he added.

Jessamyn turned her face away. "Suit yourself..."

Jerrick sat with her for some time, mostly to observe if Joar was going to make his appearance. He didn’t. The sun settled in the west and he brought a warm glass of milk for Jessamyn. She had lost a lot of weight.

"Are you coming to bed?" he asked.

She was staring blankly at the floor. When he asked the question, she shook her head.

"It looks like it’s going to rain."

He got no reply from her. He sat by her side, getting angrier at Joar for ignoring her. If he was there, why wasn’t he making his appearance? Couldn’t he see her pain?

He waited for some time. As the sun set and the moon rose in the sky, he saw a slight movement from the grave.

He is here!

"Stay here as much as you want. I’ll get you in once a single drop of rain falls," Jerrick said and stood up. He covered her with his warm fur coat.

"Jessamyn..." he held her cheeks and forced her to look into his eyes. "I am here..."

Jessamyn watched as he walked away. The coat on her shoulders was heavy but she held on to it closer to her chest.

The scent of the blooming jasmine surrounded her as she thought of the pleasant times she shared with Joar.

Her tears were replaced with a short smile. Maybe because her tummy was full, she could think of the good memories.

Burying her face to her knees, she recalled the pleasant memories as she leaned on the grave. After a few minutes, she felt something hovering above her and the hair on her neck stood straight.

With a gasp, she opened her eyes and looked around. Her eyes ended on the misty figure of the man she loved in the tomb.

"Joar?" she asked, unable to believe her eyes. "Joar, is that... is that you?"

She stood up.