The Archduke's Songbird-Chapter 150: His Happiness

"Jessamyn..."

Jerrick gently caressed her cheek, his face etched with worry and relief. His eyes were red-rimmed, his expression a mix of fear and hope.

"Jessamyn," he said again, his voice breaking. "Thank goodness, you’re awake."

She tried to speak, but her throat felt dry and constricted. Instead, she gave a small nod, her eyes meeting his. The intensity of his gaze made her heart ache; she could see the torment he had endured.

"You’re safe now," he whispered, his hand smoothing back her hair. "I won’t let anything happen to you."

She tried to smile, but the effort was too great. She settled for squeezing his hand, hoping it conveyed her relief. Everything was murky, but she was alive by some means. She knew it was Jerrick who saved her somehow.

Jerrick carefully helped her sit up, wrapping the fur coat more securely around her. He offered her warm water and her throat felt better.

She realized then that she was not feeling weak at all. She should be, considering she almost died, but she didn’t feel any different than normal.

"How do you feel?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He fixed a bunch of her hair hanging on her cheeks. His fingertips brushed on her cheek, causing a tingle on her face. She clutched the fur coat closer to her chest.

Her blue eyes met his as his finger lingered behind her earlobe. His breath was calm and warm. His face was flushed, and the fire gleamed on his exposed shoulders.

They were both naked, sparing the fur coat hanging on her shoulders. She didn’t know what to make of it. She didn’t want to run, seeing his expression. He looked divine and serene.

"Well," she managed to croak out, her voice raw. "Weird... but I feel strong."

A small, relieved smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He pressed his forehead to hers. "That’s all that matters."

Holding the back of her head, he kissed her forehead. Not a peck, but a kiss that lingered for a few seconds. She tried to get out of his hold, perplexed by the sudden intimacy between them, but he didn’t let go, holding her possessively.

When he left, a tingling feeling was left on the place his lips pressed and warmth spread all over her body. She pressed her twitching lips to put a leash to her emotions.

"What happened?" she asked.

She didn’t want to fight him for the kiss when she was sure something much more intimate happened between them when she was out.

He was still holding the back of her head as he looked into her eyes. His lips were pressed as he pondered something seriously. His eyes darted between her eyes searching for something, occasionally drawing to her lips and back to her eyes.

Jessamyn’s throat went dry again.

"I know I was attacked by leeches. There were so many, and they drained me so fast..." She looked at her exposed arms and realized she was clean. There were no marks left on her skin from the attack, and her skin looked... normal as if her body had replenished the blood she lost.

"You treated me?" she asked. If someone could have the medications to replenish the loss of blood this quickly, it should be him.

"No," his deep voice reverberated in the enclosed space. Furrowing his brows, he looked away, his expression turning somber.

Jessamyn looked around only to notice they were in a hollowed-out tree. She wasn’t interested in a place where more bugs could be lurking. Leeches were enough bugs for her that day.

"You don’t remember what happened?" he asked, furrowing his brows again. He was obviously not happy about it.

Her eyes clouded with confusion. "No... I remember being overwhelmed by the leeches, feeling them drain me... then nothing. Just darkness and a dream."

Jerrick’s face tightened, a mix of concern and something deeper, almost fear. "Dream? In that dream, did you see anything unusual? Feel anything... strange?"

"I saw the..." She hesitated, her voice trailing off. She had almost said "white wolf," but something stopped her. At that moment, she could only feel guilty for thinking about the wolf.

"Garden...and the chasm... Joar..." She turned her face away, not wanting to meet his gaze. "... and you... There was warmth and I..."

The warmth was probably when they... Ehem... when they did it. She vaguely remembered the warmth spreading from her lips. That meant that Jerrick started it first.

She didn’t know why that made her feel relieved. She should be worrying about why she ended up sleeping with him every time she was out of her mind, but she couldn’t think about that right then.

She bowed her head. It was then she noticed that he didn’t even cover his crotch. Her cheeks flushed as she realized the intimacy they had shared, the vulnerability that still lingered between them.

Jessamyn averted her eyes. They had done it twice now, and she didn’t feel good about either time. She didn’t know what pulled her to do it with him. It made her wonder if she was unconscious and if there was any man near her, she would act the same. She didn’t want that to be the case.

The thought gnawed at her. She didn’t want to believe that her actions were so arbitrary, so devoid of meaning.

She would have believed it was nothing if it happened once, but it happened twice, both times, if Jerrick was right, when her life was in danger. There had to be more to it, something deeper than mere physicality.

But what if there wasn’t? What if she was just weak, driven by some primal need? It was not fair for him.

"You called my name," Jerrick said, leaning closer to her ear.

Jessamyn took a sharp inhale as he neared her. She did remember calling for him in her dream when she saw the wolf. His eyes were bright and his lips curved. He surely was happy about that. She was not.

She shook her head, tears threatening to spill. "I don’t want to believe that I would just... that I would be like this with anyone."

"You’re not," he said firmly. "It’s not about just anyone. It’s about us. There’s something between us, Jessamyn."

She looked at him then, really looked at him. His green eyes were earnest, filled with an emotion she couldn’t quite place. Hope? Desperation? Love?

"Maybe," she whispered, though she wasn’t sure if she believed it herself. "But it doesn’t make it any less confusing."

Jerrick looked at her deeply. "You don’t realize?" he asked.

"Realize what?" Jessamyn asked, her brows raised.

It appeared that he had the answer to her question.