Tangled Hearts - The Alpha's Baby Mama-Chapter 219: I hate you because I wish I was you

Selene POV

"Maybe you should think things through," I mumbled sighing deeply. "Sometimes we make decisions forgetting that somehow, it’ll not be favourable to us one day and it might also make us lose out on something. Plus, it’s not always good to pay evil with good,".

"I know that!" Noah sighed "But I am tired of trying to understand, Nora of hoping that one day she’d come to her senses and see that every one of her actions hurts those around her and finally see that getting approval from my father is the last thing she needs. He’s never going to change,".

"Poor Nora!" I murmured feeling pity for her "I can imagine how she must have felt when your father scorned her mother. It shaped who she became. The woman she grew up into. She thinks weakness is a sin. She fears that if she shows how scarred she is underneath he will look at her the same way he looked at her mother,"

Tears gathered in Noah’s eyes "I’m so lucky, you know," she sniffled "I grew up in an environment where no one cares about what you do. Where making your breakfast is considered heroic. My mom would heap me with praises about how I am growing into a strong boy and will one day save the world..." A sad smile crossed his face. "I miss her sometimes,".

"Have you...ever visited her since you left?" I asked curiously.

"No!" he shook his head "I’ve not had the time and when I had the time, I am always scared that she won’t want me just like back then. When I first got my Lycan... the fear in her eyes, the repulse and then the terror that followed. She couldn’t wait to have me gone from her and not once has she tried to look for me or reach out. At one point, I had to hack into my dad’s phone to monitor if she still cared. Despite my dad trying to convince her to come see me for once, she wouldn’t,".

My heart squeezed with pain as a tear rolled down Noah’s eyes. We all were victims of one circumstance or the other. It is impossible to think that life only deals unkindly with you. Perhaps this was an eye-opener for me. When I started my revenge, I was convinced that no one could have had it bad like me. I was cheated on by my mate, and forced to stay in a loveless marriage without friends or parents. I learned how to do a lot of things myself. I never had a chance to be a woman... to tap into my feminine side.

But for Nora and Noah... they were destitute. Two lone individuals are shaped into adults by child experiences. For the first time in a long while, I was determined that I would be proud of myself for not sinking into my misery. That I would hold my head high and be thankful for everything I have.

"And now that I might die, I think I should go see her. I don’t want her to be shocked when she hears that I am no longer here," Noah said quietly.

"Stop talking about dying, Noah and you should go see her. I could come with you if you want. Show her that she’ll soon be a grandmother. It doesn’t matter if she accepts you or not but it’ll be a bummer if she doesn’t. You have to rest your mind and be at peace, okay? By the way, how old is he now? Any guesses?"

"About 80 or 90," he shrugged "She remarried after I left and had a few kids... but that’s that,".

"She’s quite old!" I giggled. How can you be older than your mom?"

We both laughed releasing the tension in the car. Noah placed his head on my shoulders muttering something about taking a nap. My mind flitted to Nora and my heart went out for her. A plan was forming in my mind.

When we arrived at the pack house, Kragen was waiting for us. He looked more tired than I had ever seen him and had a box tucked carefully under his arm. When he saw us, he came forward.

"Your majesty," he greeted, his gaze flitting to me for a second before they rested on Noah "Have you been well?"

"Yeah!" Noah nodded. That was a big fat lie. It was because I was present that was why he wasn’t as outspoken as he should be. He shuffled his legs anxiously while Kragen gave me a pointed look.

"I’ll go check up on the girls," I smiled at both men before I disappeared in the opposite direction. When I arrived at the girls’ room, they were getting ready with their nannies to go on a play date, so I didn’t waste time. Thereafter, I started towards the pack gate, where I wanted to go, I didn’t want to tell anyone or show what I was going to do, so there was no need to go with a driver.

I stopped at a public restroom to change into disguisable clothing before I started for the Prison. When I arrived, I saw the suspicious look on the faces of the soldiers as I presented my identification tag before I was allowed to enter. I followed the guards until we got to her ward. When I stood in front of it, prison waiting for Nora who had her back towards me to face me.

After instructing me on what measures to take in case there’s a situation, the prison warden excuses himself. As soon as he was gone, Nora, with her back still turned to me spoke for the first time.

"Came to gloat?" she asked her back still turned to me her voice ringing through the prison. "You do have some nerves to show up here," she chuckled "Leave now before I force you to do so,".

"Why do you hate me?" I blurted feeling a warm sensation of peace wash over me as the words came out of my mouth. "It makes no sense that you’ll hate me the way you do for no reason and I don’t know what I did. Honestly, I am not here to make it right or to warm up to you, I just need to know,".

"You seriously don’t know?" she turned sharply and faced me. "C’mon, Selene, it’s a little too late for that. I just hate your guts because you remind me of myself so much. When I was your age, I didn’t have a lot of options but right now, you do. You have such a good and grim hold on your husband something I never had and you’re so fucking full of yourself. You think the world revolves around you. How pathetic!" she scoffed.

"Just that!" I looked at her with disbelief. "Anyways, you’re hurting yourself, Nora. When was the last time you had a good cry? When was the last time you poured out your heart into something and got little or no returns from it? I know how sad it is but believe me, we cannot live our lives trying to please other people,".

"You’re saying rubbish as usual," she scoffed and turned her back to me again. "I don’t want to talk to you, or Noah. You’re the reason why I am here? Couldn’t you have just let my family go? What is so special about the men that you do not wish to try someone else,".

"Nora, you’re worthy of love!" I ignored her "Your mother’s situation doesn’t define you. You’re beautiful, smart, intelligent and talented. You’re one of the best warriors in the province. You can be anything you want except your past. Stop letting it define you,".

"What the fuck are you talking about?" she screeched, looking at me.

"Don’t become a monster created by people just because they know or think you cannot fit in. You shouldn’t lead this life...".

"You’re talking rubbish as usual. Get out!" she clucked her teeth and pressed a button in the cell, summoning one of the guards.

As I left, her back wasn’t still turned to me. I allowed the warden to escort me out of the premises. Outside, I felt empty. I had little time left and so much to do. Once the baby grows more, I won’t be able to do a lot of things so this was the only opportunity I had to make things right. Just as I wanted to leave, one of the prison guards walked up to me.

"Inmate 1601 wishes to speak with you again,".

Without thinking it was true, I rushed in with him beside me. When I returned to Nora’s cell, she was sitting primely at the communication hole, a sad smile on her face.

"I hate you because I wish I was you!" she started before I settled down. "In the beginning when you had to stay and endure everything Xavier did to you, I used to console myself with the fact that there were women like me. Women who will do anything to keep their acts together. Women who won’t raise an eyebrow and wail all day like my mother did. Do you know the last thing I said to her before she died?"

I shook my head.

"I told her she was a pathetic, weak fool and that’s the reason why my father will never love her,".