Substitute Wife for the Mafia King R18-Chapter 240: Stupid Youth
It was all because I didn’t want to hurt her or see her abused anymore. She was just another victim because she couldn’t let go of the man that she loves although he probably never loved her back in return. When I was younger, there were times when I wondered why my mother couldn’t see my father for who and what he was. The period where I was also blinded by my mother’s hopeful words that that man would one day accept us truly as a part of his family was very short-lived. Unlike me, my mother never lost faith in the man that she loves. Sooner or later, I came to realize that there was no way that she could go on living if she ever accepted the truth that she had been used by him all along.
I remember watching over her as she cried and grew weaker and weaker in both spirit and body. I remember thinking that I wouldn’t be surprised if she were to snap one day and then pass away if reality really hit her. Perhaps it was from my fear of losing my mother that I somehow became an active conspirator in my father’s plan to keep on fooling her just to keep her dreams alive. At first, my mother was the one who talked me into strictly following my father’s orders. She would yell at me and hit me as she apologized profusely to my father if I did something to displease him.
Youth surely comes with foolishness. For many years growing up, I was just as disillusioned as my mother and believed that if I worked harder and became better at everything, that we would be accepted into the main house of the Vulkan family. My mother believed that she could become Alfred’s wife and I would be acknowledged as his son. Hearing my mother compare me endlessly to my half younger brother somehow got to me, and I found myself doing everything to compete with him as if I would be better off if I became just like Anthony. Ironically, it was a casual conversation that I had with Anthony during a break in one of our lessons that made me realize just how wrong we both were.
‘How can you be so good at everything? You’re definitely smarter than me but that’s not all there is to it. I feel like you’re more determined and something just tells me that everything that you put your mind to will be successful. You also don’t have any trouble making hard decisions. I really envy you...’ Anthony said those words to me so casually before he smiled at me.
I was too stunned to give him an immediate response. I had always thought that Anthony was talented at everything, especially dealing with people.
‘I don’t think...’ I began denying it as I tried to sort out my own feelings.
‘It is like that. You have no idea how pressured I am to have you as my older brother. I always look up to you, but at the same time, I feel like I’m always being left behind while I desperately chase after your achievements. It’s honestly tiring...” Anthony complained before letting out a sigh.
When he turned to grin at me, I realized that even Anthony didn’t have such an easy life the way that I had imagined. There was nothing for us to envy in each other and we were best off just being ourselves. As time went on, I realized that if I held it all together and became stronger, I could change my own fate. It was a long-winded plan that was going to last multiple years, but I hoped that at the end, things will be better for everyone that I cared for.
My eyes landed on Dahlia who looked so consumed by guilt that I found it difficult to suppress my laughter. I could tell exactly what she was thinking. Had our circumstances been normal, I wouldn’t have tolerated the way that she had argued with my mother. However, I found everything about what she said and all of her reactions extremely adorable.
Dahlia had changed after meeting with Desmond. I knew pretty much what he wanted from her even if I couldn’t fully understand how the prince’s brain functioned. Dahlia was troubled and seemed on edge, so I thought that relaxing the watch placed on her would help. Desmond was a highly cautious person on top of being calculating, so I was certain that he would place proper security around Dahlia whenever they went out.
“I...I guess I’m sorry for all that I said. Admittingly, it was out of line...” Dahlia murmured before an uncomfortable look crossed her beautiful facial features.
Her eyes darted around nervously as she tried to avoid meeting my eyes. It wasn’t that I particularly enjoyed seeing her going through difficult and complex emotions, but I couldn’t help but enjoy all the moments when Dahlia would let her guard down and show me what she was honestly feeling. I could see the various emotions battling themselves out on her face. At the same time that she felt guilty, there was something inside of her that still told her that she had done the right thing. Her unshaking resolve engaged in an intense fight with the pity she must have felt for my mother and the result was a quite confused version of Dahlia.
“I didn’t know that...your mother is...unstable...” she mumbled while carefully selecting her words.
Since I hadn’t said anything to her, Dahlia continued to grow more apprehensive. She probably thought that I was going to punish her, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t feel a sudden urge to live up to her expectations.
“I would worry more about myself instead of worrying about her, if I were you...” I said as I stared directly at her.
Dahlia was clearly stunned when I suddenly spoke up. I wanted to smile and then laugh at her reaction but my cold mask was all that I put on display for her to see.
–To be continued...
