Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad-Chapter 779 : Trust at Zero

*Cat*

I thought I would wake up to the sound of Emilia wailing for her morning breakfast as I usually did, but when I returned to the waking world, my body was stiff and my mind still exhausted, it wasn’t to Emilia in my arms but to the smell of freshly sizzling bacon.

My nose had always been stronger than my ears, that was what my mom used to tell me and she was right as before I even opened my eyes, I was sitting up to follow the smell. The lack of proper rest last night had truly taken a lot of out me as I didn’t even check on Emilia’s crib for her at first until I was halfway out the doorway.

By then, I had whirled around to see it was empty.

I didn’t panic at first, knowing that Elio and my mom would often cover for me on long mornings by feeding her by bottle. My milk was come-and-go at this point, so I left a few bottles in the fridge just in case as always.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, wandering down the hall towards the delicious smell of roasted breakfast meats. My mouth was already watering as I entered, only to hear a very familiar voice singing a very familiar tune.

Emilia’s favorite cartoon was playing in the background as Elio stood in the kitchen, holding her in one arm as she tried to eat his hair and watch the cartoon playing on the TV at the same time. I supposed she liked the sounds since she probably couldn’t really see it yet.

Elio himself was focused entirely on the steaming hot breakfast he was cooking, shuffling around as he whistled to the tune of the opening song.

I stared at the scene in sheer wonder for a minute before Elio caught sight of me and gave me a sheepish grin.

“Oh, hey,” he said awkwardly, then held up the pan of freshly cooked bacon. “Breakfast? The cooks have a late start day today.”

I nodded jerkily, too tired to give him another answer as I just held my hands out for Emilia and he pouted, reluctantly passing her over. I could see him wince though as she pulled a few of his hair out.

“She’s fed, diaper changed, and dressed for the day,” Elio said proudly, turning back to the breakfast as he continued to hum the song even after it had ended.

I blinked blearily at the somewhat odd sight, glancing at my daughter who sent me a clueless look as well, though I doubted she understood anything at this point.

Elio gently set a cup of coffee in front of me, the steam and smell of the freshly brewed beans giving me life as I took a sip. I gave a small smile at Elio’s back. He had made it exactly as I liked it.

“Cat.”

I hummed in response, too tired as Elio turned to me with a plate with a bagel smeared with cream cheese, bacon, and some cheesy scrambled eggs. My eyes were on the food and nothing else as Elio set it in front of me.

“About last night, I’m–”

“No,” I said firmly, my voice raspy from the long night. I sent him a tired look. “Talk to me later. I’m too tired right now. Just... I need to wake up, okay?”

There was a begging tone in my voice that I hadn’t intended there to be, but Elio seemed to see how exhausted I was and how little sleep I had actually gotten and nodded solemnly. His own plate of food was half the bacon I had with two bagels and a huge helping of scrambled eggs and I was a little bit happy inside to see how well he knew me.

We ate in a calm and peaceful silence, though the fight from last night still lingered in the back of our minds. All of the anger and determination I’d had last night had just drained out of me after back-to-back nightmares.

I just didn’t want to fight anymore.

Once we were both finished, I took Emilia to the living room, putting her on her play mat so she could watch TV and play at the same time, and then collapsed on the couch sideways.

“Didn’t sleep well?” Elio asked as he lifted up my feet so he could sit down, tucking them into his lap.

I snuggled them into his warm side, sighing as my cold toes started to warm up. I nodded to his question, not really wanting to talk but knowing we had to.

“I’m sorry about last night, Cat. I... I should’ve respected your feelings, but I’m so goddamn terrified that something is going to happen to you. That I’ll put you or Emilia in danger.” Elio explained.

There was a pause as he let me digest his words before I finally responded.

“I know.” was all I said in return and he gave me an incredulous glance.

“That’s it?”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Elio,” I sighed, sitting up and wincing at the ache in my back. “We’ve been over this so many times. I just... I’ve heard it all before and you’ve heard my arguments before and I just... I don’t know what else to do. I’m just tired of it all.”

There was no anger left in me, just pure exhaustion as I leaned my back against the couch, unsure of where to go from there. One of us had to give in and it was clear that it wasn’t going to be Elio.

No matter how many times this happened, it was the same thing over and over again. Maybe it was time for me to accept that this was what was going to happen, that I couldn’t have the partnership with Elio that I wanted. That he was going to hide and lie to me and there was nothing I could do to prevent it.

Or, I thought as a seed of something was planted in my mind, Maybe I just needed to find out what he was doing from someone other than him.

Elio apologized again and again, holding me tightly and trying to explain himself but I just silently nodded, too tired to argue as I finally let it all go. I loved him and I had to accept every part of him, even the ones that infuriated me.

But after he was sure that I forgave him, Elio finally told me everything–how he brought up my suggestion to buy one of the Feds to Al, who agreed to the plan, how he and Franky chose the shadiest guy they could find, one who they were sure would be the easiest to crack, and how they set out that night to watch him on a stake-out, to find everything they could about his life.

“We had two main goals to accomplish so Al thought it could work. The plan was to set him up,” Elio said calmly like he wasn’t talking about ruining some guy’s life. “Make him think the Feds were going to turn against him. It happens more than you think and if he’s been with them as long as he has, he probably knows a lot of shady things the government’s done. Once he was ours, we wanted to get our guys out first. Normally, we’d do a jailbreak if there was no other option left but security’s tighter than it was in the past few years plus we don’t wanna risk breaking out the MS13 guys still inside.”

“And the other reason you wanted him?” I asked quietly. “You said there were two main goals.”

“Yeah,” Elio nodded, a determined glint in his eyes. “Crush MS13 once and for all. If we can get access to the Feds database and what they know about us, then we can presumably access what they know about MS13. Based on what we know and what they know, it might be possible to track them down to an actual location. They’ve been a thorn in our sides for too long, we have to eliminate them before they become a bigger problem.”

I could Elio was trying to convince himself more than me, that the bloodshed he was talking about was right. But contrary to Elio’s hesitance, I had no remorse for these bastards. They went after our daughter, our precious sweet three-month-old daughter.

Going after me was one thing but the moment they tried to touch my baby, they had signed their death warrant. And if Elio was still hesitant about waging a full out war, I was already planning to go above his head to Al.

They wouldn’t be getting away from this unscathed.

“Thanks for finally telling me,” I said cooly, making sure my face didn’t betray the dark thoughts I had been thinking.

“I really am sorry, Cat,” Elio said, giving me those sad eyes that always weakened me, as he brought my hand to his lips. “I was being too overprotective. I didn’t mean to make you anxious.”

I knew he was being sincere. But I also knew this wasn’t going to be the last time he did this. So I just smiled, crawling forward to wrap my arms around him, sitting in his lap as I buried my head in his shoulder with a breath of relief.

“I’m always going to be anxious,” I said quietly. “I love you.”

He made a sound like he was being gutted, pulling back to immediately kiss me, holding me tightly enough that it was almost painful. I didn’t mind though as I shut my eyes, relishing as I felt comfortable for the first time since last night.

We were interrupted, of course, by a call from Elio’s phone. He groaned, breaking our kiss to stare hatefully at the phone on the coffee table and I smiled, pulling back to cuddle up in my fort at the other end of the couch.

“Go on, I’m probably going to take a nap once Mom comes,” I told him truthfully. I was exhausted and as much as I loved Emilia, I needed a break after everything.

He nodded, getting to his feet to grab the phone. I barely listened, only hums and nods coming from him before he hung up.

“I’ve gotta go,” Elio said. “Franky said it was important but he didn’t give details. I’ll tell you all about it when I get home, I promise.”

I nodded my trust in that promise at zero. I hoped he would follow through with that but I had no expectations that he would. He’d said the same thing before over and over.

He kissed me on the forehead, rushing out of the door and I glanced out the window until his car was fully gone from the driveway.

Mom came in not long after that, took one look at me, and firmly said, “I’ll be taking Emilia for the day,” before she began to pack my daughter’s bags. I was so damn grateful for her even as I had to say goodbye to Emilia.

I loved her but even I knew I had reached a limit.

When they were gone and I was finally alone, I curled up into the dozen blankets, cocooning myself like I had when I was pregnant, and finally got comfortable, my eyes fluttering closed.

Two thoughts popped into my head as I faded out of consciousness.

One, that as much as I loved Emilia and I loved being her mother, I knew I wasn’t housewife material. I couldn’t just stay at home minding my own business. I had to be involved in Elio’s life. I didn’t have to know everything, of course, but I needed to have more open communication about what my fiance was doing and what he was getting into so I could be prepared to be there for him to fall back on.

And if he wasn’t going to include me in that, then I had to find my own way to get that information. Leo and Franky were dead-ends but perhaps I didn’t need them. Perhaps there was another way.

My second thought as I fell into a deep, needed sleep was that I should’ve just slept out here last night.