Starting With The Sefirah Castle In The Anime World-Chapter 237: I Will Slowly Change
Chapter 237 - 237: I Will Slowly Change
After complaining for a while, Ren continued to comfort Chika and also gave her a final check-up.
"Well, it's almost certain that your psychological issues have almost fully recovered."
There were no signs of any outbursts yesterday, and the day before, there were only minor problems.
Time is still a very important remedy.
As time passed, coupled with Chika's emotional fluctuations over the past two days, Ren realized that she was completely suppressing the shadow left by her trauma with another emotion.
That emotion most likely came from him, and there were even some lustful elements mixed into it.
"Yeah... I've recovered."
Hearing about her current condition, Chika's voice carried a tone of helplessness.
If she had fully recovered, then she wouldn't have an excuse to ask Hayasaka to bring her over to spend the night at Ren's place like before. What a shame.
Understanding the hidden meaning behind her words, Ren could only knock lightly on Chika's head.
"You really want that kind of psychological issue to stick with you for a long time? Corruption and loss of control—do you know how much the extraordinary in that story fear corruption and losing control? They spend their entire lives avoiding the collapse of their own consciousness, piece by piece."
"And yet you're here complaining about recovering too quickly."
Chika puffed up her cheeks and let out a cute cooing sound, then turned her head away in slight frustration.
Ren shook his head slightly and turned his attention toward Hayasaka.
"Hayasaka, when you go back, explain to Kaguya what has happened these past two days. Kaguya isn't an unreasonable person. Well... she might get jealous. I already mentioned this when I spoke to her directly about this issue."
"But, Hayasaka, it's better if you're completely honest with Kaguya when you go back."
"Understood."
Hayasaka took a deep breath. She knew she still needed to be upfront with Kaguya regarding Chika.
After saying that, Ren looked at Hayasaka and slowly reached out his hand.
Hayasaka paused slightly, her face turning a little pink, but she still quietly walked over to the bed and sat down on the side not occupied by Chika.
Ren wrapped one arm around Hayasaka's waist and gently pulled her closer to him.
Hayasaka, feeling such initiative from him for the first time, blushed even deeper, but she quietly leaned her head against Ren's arm.
"Sorry. It's always the girls who take the initiative."
"No."
Hayasaka understood Ren's situation well, so she naturally knew why he didn't usually make the first move.
"I'm not good at dealing with girls. Honestly, it's because of the environment I grew up in during my previous life."
"I wasn't exactly a good person. At best, I was just an ordinary person. And because I was so ordinary, I couldn't take on many responsibilities. I barely ever thought about marriage. I wasn't even good at dating girls. I felt like there was no need."
Chika, who had just been sulking, perked up when she heard Ren talking about his past.
"What do you mean you didn't even need to date girls?"
Recalling his previous life, Ren let out a sigh.
"Because I couldn't afford the conditions for marriage. Even if I dated someone, the relationship would eventually hit a dead end because I couldn't take the next step."
"I almost never interacted with girls. I was a complete homebody. After graduation, I found a job that allowed me to work from home. Since I never went out, I didn't have opportunities to meet anyone."
"So, it's not that I wanted girls to take the initiative. I just genuinely didn't know how to approach them."
"Besides, I always worried whether any affection I thought I sensed was just my own delusion."
"Back then, there was a saying about the three great illusions in life. First, that your phone is vibrating. Second, that you can win a fight. And third, that she likes you."
"I was just an ordinary person, both in my decades of my previous life and in the fifteen years of this life so far. I couldn't help but bring my old mindset with me. I often worried that my feelings were nothing more than wishful thinking."
At this point, Ren gave a bitter smile.
"Maybe, to put it simply, I'm just a very timid person. I've always been a little cowardly when it comes to these kinds of things."
Both Hayasaka and Chika, who had been listening quietly, could feel what he meant.
Because of these lingering insecurities, Ren would subconsciously keep a distance in his heart.
It wasn't that he didn't like them—it was more that he was afraid of making the wrong assumption.
"Ren... your previous life is in the past. This life is different. You're not the same ordinary person you were back then. At the very least, you should try to live differently this time around."
Hayasaka guided him softly.
"I know. But I spent fifteen years in this life as an ordinary person before I became extraordinary. Sometimes, those habits of an ordinary mindset are hard to shake."
If he had been born with unique abilities from the start, perhaps he wouldn't have been so timid. Maybe he would have built up the confidence that comes from standing out, and wouldn't have developed this inferiority complex.
But fate had given him the chance to become extraordinary only after those fifteen years of ordinary life.
Even when faced with that opportunity, Ren had approached it cautiously. It took him a whole year of trial and error before he was able to step through that door.
So, Ren admitted to himself that he needed time to change—to slowly shift the way he viewed the world and the way he interacted with others.
It wasn't about changing his core beliefs or his values. It was about changing how he related to people.
"In fact, I've only been working on this change for about a month." ƒrēewebnoѵёl.cσm
The two girls suddenly realized—ever since the first diary entry appeared, it had only been a month. Ren's transformation had only just begun during this short time. It was natural that he hadn't changed completely yet.
"I used to be overly cautious, but at least now I can be sure about some things. For example, Kaguya's confession, Sonoko's feelings, and your love, Fujiwara, as well as yours, Hayasaka."
"After all, no matter how dense I am, I don't believe a girl who wants to come to a guy's house every day, clings to him all the time, and constantly tries to spend the night at his place has no feelings for him."
Hearing this, both Chika and Hayasaka blushed slightly.
After all, they had been doing exactly that over the past week.
"In the future, I'll try to slowly change the way I handle these things."
"But... I can't help feeling that this kind of change might make me seem like a scumbag. Well, I guess that way of thinking also needs to change."
(To be continued.)
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