Standing Next To You-Chapter 575: Don’t forgive me yet

Bei Sangyun never imagined that a day like this would come—where Fei Chuan would come to her and apologize.

She had thought of a hundred ways to reconnect with him after she found the answer, but never once did she imagine a scenario where Fei Chuan would kneel before her.

Seeing Fei Chuan standing up obediently, following her words like he used to, Bei Sangyun’s heart softened. She pulled him to the couch and sat beside him.

"What’s going on? Are you acting like this because... of yesterday? I don’t expect you to take responsibility. It’s something I also wish to happen. "

"No," Fei Chuan quickly corrected her. "It’s not just about yesterday."

He looked at her, his hands clenched into fists like a child who had done something wrong. "That day... I didn’t take your words seriously. I blamed you, without understanding what you were going through. For four years, I hated you. All those years, I only blamed you."

He fought the urge to kneel again. "I only thought about my own pain. I never once considered yours. Like you said—it was easier to make you the villain."

Fei Chuan’s gaze met hers, full of pain and remorse.

Bei Sangyun was taken aback. So it was about that day. The day when they ended things.

"You made so many sacrifices for me. You hid all that pain... for me. And when you finally told me the truth... I—"

His heart ached. The memory of his words, the way he treated her, and the expression she wore that day—all of it burned into him. He held his chest, struggling to breathe through the guilt.

"I pushed you away. I ridiculed you..."

Fei Chuan lowered his head, trying not to cry. He didn’t deserve to cry in front of her.

"I was foolish... seeking revenge without knowing the pain you endured. You did so much for me... yet I spent my time devising ways to hurt you. I was a despicable man."

He could only hate himself for it. He had been so, so wrong.

Bei Sangyun reached out, gently holding his clenched hand. She lifted his chin and softly wiped away the tears that had unknowingly fallen. Her expression was filled with tenderness. Not once did she say a word of blame.

That only made Fei Chuan cry harder. Her gentleness broke him.

"I know you shouldn’t forgive someone like me. Someone who hurt and tormented you. But I... I don’t want this to be the end of us. Even when I didn’t know the truth, I still couldn’t get over you. I am a despicable man... but I’ll be better. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Just please... accept me."

Bei Sangyun nodded. "I will. I accept you."

"Even if you don’t want me to, I’ll keep chasing you. Even if you push me away, I’ll stay near. You won’t be able to get rid of me. But I promise... I’ll never make your life harder."

"Uh-huh. I know. I’ll have you around," Bei Sangyun replied as she continued wiping his tears.

"And I won’t stop—" Fei Chuan suddenly paused, eyes widening. "...What?"

Bei Sangyun smiled and gently kissed the corner of his lips.

"I said I accept your apology," she said, her eyes curving into a warm smile.

This might be too good to be true. It might be a dream.

But she was happy—so happy to finally hold him again, to wipe away his tears.

Fei Chuan frowned and gently held the hand that was wiping away his tears.

"You were never a saint. You always made sure that those who hurt you paid the price," he said softly. "You made them repay you tenfold."

"But you’re not them," Bei Sangyun replied. "You’re my Fei Chuan."

Fei Chuan froze. My Fei Chuan.

His ears turned red. Why did he like the sound of that so much?

"Still... if you won’t hit me, then at least get angry at me," he murmured.

"I can never be angry at you," Bei Sangyun shook her head gently.

"But I deceived you. I hurt you. I didn’t believe you."

"It’s understandable," she said with a small sigh. "After all, I wasn’t honest with you in the beginning. I was the one who hurt you first."

Bei Sangyun lowered her gaze, her voice quiet and filled with guilt. "To be honest, I was full of regret when I left you four years ago. I know there were other ways... better ways than disappearing completely. But I knew you wouldn’t understand. Even I still find it hard to believe everything that happened."

She looked at him with an apologetic smile. "I’m truly sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. These past four years... your pain wasn’t any less than mine."

"No," Fei Chuan whispered as he pulled her into a hug. "It’s nothing compared to yours."

He rested his forehead against hers. "I believe you now, Bei Sangyun. Rebirth... death and life again... this thing people call ’fate’—I finally understand. You went through all that alone, and all I did was cause you more pain."

Bei Sangyun blinked, stunned. She stared into his eyes.

"You believe me now...? How come...?"

She had always known how unbelievable her experience sounded. So when Fei Chuan didn’t believe her, she wasn’t surprised. But now... hearing him say he did believe her—it felt unreal.

"I’ve had dreams," Fei Chuan said, his voice distant, as if lost in the memory. "Actually... I’ve had them since before high school. Do you remember that play we performed? The one with the grave and the grieving man?"

Bei Sangyun nodded. That play had been written by Fei Chuan himself. When she first read the script, she suspected that he, too, might hold memories of that past life.

"I used to dream about a grave," he continued. "And a man who mourned there. At first, I couldn’t remember much. Just fragments—images. But recently... the dreams became more vivid. I didn’t just dream of the grave. I dreamed of that life. Of us. It was real... it felt real."

He paused, then looked directly at her. "I searched for it. That place, that grave, that life... the ’me’ and the ’you’ of that time actually existed. In another life. In another time."

Bei Sangyun’s breath caught. Her heart began to race.

Fei Chuan... saw that life?

"Then I remembered what you told me. So I went to find the monk."

"The old monk?" Bei Sangyun’s eyes widened in shock. She remembered clearly how much Fei Chuan hated monks.

"Yes. I met him," Fei Chuan admitted. "I still don’t like him, but... maybe he was telling the truth. There really are things in this world that can’t be explained or understood. And I believe those things exist now."

Bei Sangyun stared at him, stunned. Was this really happening? Was she really hearing this from Fei Chuan?

He finally... believed her.

Fei Chuan held her hand, his gaze sincere and unwavering.

"I know I can’t truly comprehend that past life like you can—after all, you have the memories and lived through it. But I... I want to share your burden. I wasn’t there for you during those four years, and even when we were together, I was ignorant of everything... I don’t want you to carry it all alone, Bei Sangyun."

Her heart overflowed with warmth. His words touched not just her heart, but her very soul. The one person she had longed to believe her the most—finally understood.

Tears welled up in her eyes.

"...You’re not mad at me anymore?"

"I’m not. I was foolish back then. If anyone should be angry, it’s you."

"I could never be mad at you," she said, smiling through her tears. "I’m just... so happy. Happy that you’re here, that I get to hear this from you. That you finally understand me."

Fei Chuan pulled her into a tight embrace, his heart aching at the sight of her tears. How could he have hurt her? How could he have sought revenge?

He felt utterly foolish. He wanted nothing more than to punch himself for it.

"Don’t forgive me yet," he murmured. "Not until I make you happy every single day, give you the most beautiful wedding in history, and devote the rest of my life to you."

Bei Sangyun, resting in his arms, froze at his words for a moment... then burst into soft laughter.

"Are you proposing to me? That’s quite a leap—you’re skipping a lot of steps."

"Not yet," he smiled faintly. "I just wanted you to know how truly sorry I am. I’ve been such a terrible man."

Bei Sangyun hugged his waist tightly and rested her head against his chest. That familiar warmth, that comforting scent—how long had she yearned for this moment? She closed her eyes and took it all in.

Here, in his arms, she finally felt peace. She finally felt like she was home.

"Alright then," she whispered with the happiest smile she’d ever worn. "I won’t forgive you... not until you put a ring on my finger."