Sold as the Alpha King's Breeder-Chapter 1321 - 76 : Slipping Through My Fingers

*Noah*

I gritted my teeth together hard as another brief but vivid memory flashed through my mind. It was just a split second of the night sky and Zara’s face, but her bright green eyes were filled with love and devotion in that short moment.

The royal potion that I had begun to take had resulted in some improvement. I started to regain my memories and with it, my strong affection toward Zara.

We hadn’t had much time together ever since we returned to Drogomor. Almost immediately upon our return, Zara started her training as the future Luna.

I knew that my stepmother could be a strict teacher when given the opportunity, so I was often both concerned and slightly amused when I would return to our room to find Zara passed out on our bed.

While I missed her because of also returning to my duties as the future Alpha, I relished the quiet nights when I could just climb into bed with her and pull her unconscious form against my chest.

As I did so now, running my fingers through her long golden hair, I willed the memory of her beneath the stars to return. It had looked as if we were lying down together on the ground, surrounded by tall grass and the calming nighttime breeze.

As I slowly started to regain my memories, I wasn’t just seeing the images of them in my head. I was starting to feel the emotions behind them as well. I remembered the way Zara made my heart skip a beat and the way I desperately wanted her when we first met.

I had parts of the memory of our first meeting. I was terribly selfish back then. I saw her as a tool, a way to finally get my parents off my back about finding the right mate for me. I saw that part all too clearly, which was frustrating since it only emphasized how much of a jerk I had been in the not-so-distant past.

I spent a lot of nights lately just holding Zara and meditating, willing the more important memories to surface once again. I tried to focus particularly on the early stages of our relationship, hoping that I could regain the emotions that I had felt when I first fell for her.

No matter how hard I tried, I just got pieces of memories that gave me little to no story, just quick flashes of us together, holding hands, or kissing. There were some snippets of conversations as well that seemed to hold the key to understanding our relationship.

But before I could even start to grasp the meaning behind the short phrases coming from our lips, they would slip through my fingers like smoke before they could even start to solidify.

When I woke up one morning after a full night of mulling over memories and trying to grasp at them, I found myself thoroughly frustrated but also more desperate than ever to know the woman who was beginning to stir in my arms.

I kissed Zara’s forehead and then pulled away to find her shimmering green eyes open. She rubbed her right one tiredly before squinting at me before the shining orbs widened slightly in concern.

“You look exhausted,” she murmured, her petite hand rising so she could trace what had to be a dark circle beneath my eye. “Were you not able to sleep last night?”

My heart stuttered at her concern. I gripped the hand that was caressing the skin beneath my eye and pressed it against the side of my face. Her hand was warm and somehow smelled sweet, just like the rest of her did.

“Noah?” she murmured, confusion lacing her tone.

I couldn’t help the deep chuckle that rumbled through my chest. She was extremely kind. It made the memory thing even more painful.

I wanted to know every part of this woman, but it was just too excruciating to try to recall the moments I wanted back the most. I bent my head to press a kiss to her smooth lips. “I’m sorry. I was just tossing and turning for a lot of the night, thinking about things.”

I could be as vague as I wanted, but it wasn’t going to fool this woman. She knew that I was working hard to remember everything we’d been through together.

corners of Zara’s mouth turned down. “Do you really think that the best time to do that was when you should be resting after a long day of pack affairs?”

“Maybe not,” I admitted. I frowned down at her unhappily. “But could you really suggest a better time considering there are no other times? By the time I’m back from various duties, you are already sound asleep most of the time. There isn’t even time for us these days, let alone for trying to recover lost memories.”

Zara sighed, and I knew from the tone of it that she knew I was right.

“I know,” she muttered, but then her eyes darted to the clock on the nightstand and she groaned before pushing herself up so she could climb out of bed. “Speaking of duties, I’d better start getting ready if I’m going to meet your stepmother on time.”

I blew out a breath of my own and heaved myself out of bed as well, glancing at the time and repressing a groan. The sun was barely rising, just a hint of light starting to stream in through the drapes, but it was quickly approaching the time I was due to meet my father to begin our morning rounds.

We got dressed quickly and moved to the door to go our separate ways, but before Zara could open the door to leave, I grabbed her by the shoulders and pressed a firm kiss to her mouth.

“I’m going to remember everything, Zara,” I told her fiercely, gripping her shoulders. “I promise you. If it’s the last thing I do, I will remember.”

Zara didn’t answer and I couldn’t read the expression that swept across her face as she nodded and then bit her lower lip for a moment. I wondered briefly if I had all my memories if I would have been able to read the layers in her face.

Zara opened the door and then stepped out of my hold, leaving me feeling like I was once again allowing smoke to slip through my fingers.

***

“An Alpha is kind, but he must also be steadfast and ruthless when necessary,” my father was saying once we had completed settling yet another political dispute.

“I’m well aware, Father,” I said, trying to keep my tone respectful. “You’ve drilled that lesson into me long before I started shadowing you.”

Father sent me a look that signaled that he was far from amused by my statement, but then he fell silent as we made our way back to the mansion after a long day.

“Have you and my daughter-in-law discussed your future heir as of late?” he asked suddenly, making me freeze on the walkway leading up to the front gate of the mansion.

I couldn’t even process what he was asking as a bright, vivid image suddenly bloomed in my mind, complete with my booming voice declaring Zara’s baby as my heir. I blinked hard, a sharp pain shooting through my head as I saw Zara’s face in my mind, the shock and panic shining in her eyes as she protested that she already had a mate who wasn’t me.

Father’s tone was tight with concern. “Noah?” He stepped toward me, his thick eyebrows going up. “Are you alright, Son?”

I blinked again but the image was gone, leaving me feeling baffled and angry. I smoothed my expression out before meeting my father’s gaze. “Yes, my apologies. I suppose I’m just wary from the long day. I’ll be fine after we have a nice meal.”

“Very well,” he said, not looking completely convinced, but he wasn’t about to argue with me. “Perhaps we can complete the remaining paperwork after dinner then.”

I shook my head, repressing a grimace. “No, let’s complete the forms first,” I said.

There was no way I was going to be doing the grueling but necessary task later in the night. My mind was already threatening to melt from the strain of the most recent memory.

Even though it was painful to do so, I replayed that image in my mind over and over, growing more and more angered by the implication behind Zara’s claim of already having a mate when I declared her baby my heir. As Father and I sat together in his office, going over forms, I was distracted, searching the context and little clues in the memory, trying to decipher the disturbing memory.

Finally, I was able to recall that I supposedly announced to everyone that the baby was mine in order to protect Zara, and it was eerily similar to when I had lied to our families when I broke the news that we had eloped in the Dark Realm. Still, I couldn’t make any sense of it.

And I was more than determined to get to the bottom of it.

I felt a fire burning in me as I ascended the stairs and marched down the hallway toward my bedroom. Zara looked up in surprise when I pushed the door open. She was sitting on the bed and her round eyes were exhausted. She smiled tiredly at me.

“You’re back early,” she commented lightly, but then she read the heated look on my face and frowned in concern. “Is something wrong?”

I was aware that there was no way she could have realized what I had remembered but somehow, her ignorance made me even angrier.

“I remembered something today,” I said in a flat voice, “something about a certain someone claiming that she already had a mate despite me claiming this baby as my heir.”

Zara blinked and then her eyes widened slightly, causing my suspicion to solidify. “Noah, it sounds like you’re only remembering a small part of what happened. Did this memory of yours include Merida trying to sabotage me and make me look bad in front of everyone by announcing my pregnancy?”

I saw red as Zara’s words only confused me. “I’m under the strong impression that you’re attempting to trick me to get what you want. What spell are you using on me from that special school you went to?”

A small part of my brain was warning me that I was starting to sound crazy, but I couldn’t help the words that flew from my mouth. All I knew was that Zara had mentioned another mate, and the jealousy and suspicion was driving me mad. I needed answers, and she was going to give them to me.

Zara stood up, her expression hard. “Noah, listen to yourself,” she demanded. “You don’t know what you’re saying! You were trying to help me.” Her eyes turned glassy for a moment, causing my resolve to falter slightly.

But it hardened just as quickly. “I can’t ignore the little that I did see in that memory,” I said in a hard voice.

Zara stared into my eyes before hers narrowed. “If you want to go ahead and come clean about our supposed marriage, then that’s completely fine with me.”

I felt my eyebrows go up and I reeled slightly. I considered that option and realized quickly that that wasn’t the right course of action. Despite my anger and jealousy, I didn’t want to risk Zara being punished because of the lie I’d told.

“I have some work to finish,” I said gruffly, turning to go and shutting the door firmly behind me.

I cursed inwardly, remembering the perplexed and hurt look on Zara’s face before I left, but steeled myself and shot out the front door, shifting into my wolf form, already deciding that I needed to feel the wind ruffling through my fur.

Hours later, I stood atop a hill and stared up at the moon, wondering if Zara had been able to fall asleep without me.