Sold as the Alpha King's Breeder-Chapter 1290 - 45 : Don’t Lose Faith
*Zara*
Unable to leave my room, and completely devastated because of what happened, I paced back and forth, my mind whirring a million miles a minute.
I’d just found my true love, my mate, and then in the next moment, I was in danger of losing him. I felt woozy from the stress, everything feeling nearly unbearable.
So much was happening, and when one solution was seemingly found, another problem popped up in its place. I couldn’t stop the tears from pouring from my eyes over this either.
I wished I could see Noah. My wolf was antsy, pushing me to barge through the door and demand to see my mate, but I knew that wasn’t possible right then. It would have been even more disruptive.
Why had I been so careless with the Luna Lilies? I knew how powerful the magic was, and while the complete extent of the side effects wasn’t crystal clear to me, it was obvious how dangerous it could be.
Playing with unknown magic and chemicals, I should have been harsher and stricter with my scolding of him. I shouldn’t have caved so easily to let him take higher doses.
In the end, it only encouraged Noah. Standing my ground actually worked with him because he listened to me. If I’d done so with this, I was sure that the man I loved wouldn’t be teetering on the brink of death.
That thought made me collapse to the edge of my bed and bury my face into my hands, giving a low sob. I shuddered with despair, and the rumors I’d heard about me hadn’t helped.
I couldn’t blame the Drogomor pack for thinking that way, though. I knew that if I hadn’t been so careless, we wouldn’t be in this situation.
Maybe I was a little selfish too. I wanted to see Noah happy and feel the mate bond too, and to remember it. Instead, he may die, all because I didn’t focus on letting him know the problems.
I heard my phone vibrate and shuddered, wondering who it could be. I thought it might be my parents, worried about what was going on. I supposed that the news could have traveled quickly and reached them by now.
I leaned over and grabbed my phone, taking a look to see who it was. There was a text message waiting for me from my mentor, Niva, and after a deep breath, I tapped into my phone to see it.
‘What happened?’ she asked. ‘Did the tea work?’
‘It worked at first, but then everything went wrong,’ I texted her back, wiping away a tear.
‘What do you mean?” she asked. “Are you okay? Is Noah okay?’
‘He isn’t.’ I sighed and continued, ‘He begged me to give him a higher dose, and when that didn’t work, made it himself without telling me. He drank it, and now he has ended up with convulsions, a blazing fever, and rattling breath. I even think his lungs are failing.’
At that realization, and how devastating his condition is, I let out a sob, tossing the phone aside as my emotions became overwhelming.
My chest heaved at every cry as I focused on every single symptom Noah was going through. Healer Calvin had listed them off before I was forced to leave Noah’s side.
A million questions ran through my mind. How long would he be in critical condition because of my lack of care? Would he ever get better? What would happen if he never recovered?
I shuddered at the thought of the last question.
When I managed to get a hold of myself again, I looked at my phone, seeing the response from Niva.
‘What?! Oh no, Zara! This is horrible news. I don’t think anyone could have guessed that would have happened!’
‘I should have been more careful and assumed it would,’ I said, tears running down my cheeks as I typed. ‘This is all my fault.’
‘No, it isn’t,’ she insisted. ‘There’s no way you would have known. Love can make people do crazy things. Noah wouldn’t want you blaming yourself, would he?’
‘No, but that doesn’t matter. This is my fault for not being more assertive. I have been every other time, but now....’
‘Now, you’ll get through it. Again, you can’t pin the blame all on yourself, Zara.’
‘I need to go,’ I told her. ‘Please warn any clients about this, though, Niva, now that we found out this way.’
Honestly, her insistence that this wasn’t my fault didn’t convince me at all. Noah wouldn’t hold this against me—I knew he wouldn’t—but he would have been completely in the right, too, even if he himself was the one to insist.
Like Niva had said, love can make people do crazy things, but that wasn’t an excuse for me not to speak up.
As I laid back down on my bed, I closed my eyes, putting my hand over my heart. Guilt was bombarding me as I thought of the dreams and promises Noah and I had shared.
When we wandered through the woods, I remembered him saying, “We’ll give our child a happy family together, Zara. Don’t worry about leading the pack. I know you’ll be a perfect Luna.”
“I have no experience, though, Noah,” I’d responded with a hint of anxiety.
“No one is born with experience. You will learn to be the perfect Luna. You have loyalty, you don’t give up, and you have compassion. Those are all traits of a great Luna.”
“But this responsibility isn’t one that I’m used to. I’ll also have our child, and the career path I really don’t want to leave....” 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝘦𝓌𝑒𝑏𝑛𝑜𝘷𝑒𝘭.𝒸𝘰𝑚
“You won’t have to. We’ll be in this together, alright? We’ll accomplish your dream of being someone who brings people together, and my dream of leading a pack with someone as wonderful as you.”
I had smiled at him and gave him a huge hug. We’d talked about getting a house together like the one we were staying in, and how there would be many more days and nights like that together—under the stars, wandering the woods, spending time together and talking about every thought that crossed our mind... not holding back on the teasing, and laughing with one another too.
All those dreams were dissolving into dust before my eyes. Because I hadn’t spoken up and stopped things before they got too far, I may have destroyed any chance at a life we wanted so badly.
As my mind raced, my thoughts turned to Alpha Issac and Luna Estella. Noah’s parents were no doubt completely devastated. They’d been already on edge given the announcement at dinner.
Now, things had escalated and gotten so much worse. They must have been feeling so betrayed by me, a thought that caused my heart to clench. I couldn’t blame them.
It was one thing after another with me. I’d only brought chaos and pain into their lives, and they’d shown me nothing but kindness prior to this mess, even when I didn’t truly find Noah a match.
They cared deeply about him, that much I could tell. They hadn’t just accepted Serena like Noah had, not that they could do much to stop him.
It was great that I convinced Noah away from the nightmare she turned out to be, but now, Noah was on the brink of death, and all fingers pointed to me.
I laid there in bed with everything the pack had said about me going through my mind. They hadn’t trusted my magic. Now, this would no doubt spiral.
I really deserved the scorn of Alpha Issac, Luna Estella, and the rest of the Drogomor pack for what had happened to Noah.
As I whimpered and sobbed, I closed my eyes, covering my face with my hands. This was all so horrible, so wrong, and I’d ruined the lives of so many people.
Time ticked by. Seconds felt like minutes, and minutes felt like hours. When hours finally did pass, though, I at least allowed myself to lapse into some clarity.
I sat up, feeling woozy, but I approached the window and gazed outside as stars blanketed the sky. My eyes fixed on the moon, and I felt my heart lurch as the importance of it hit me.
The moon had, after all, brought Noah and me together. Now, I hoped it wouldn’t keep us apart. Surely since we had met twice under the moon, miracles could be on the horizon.
At least, they may be—they wouldn’t if I gave up hope now. I could sit in despair and self-hatred all night and day, for a very long while, but it really wouldn’t get me anywhere.
My resolve started to strengthen as I stared at the moon.
“Moon Goddess,” I whispered, my tone pleading. “Please spare Noah’s life. Bring him back to me. Please.”
I thought over my prayers, my faith never departing from me, even now. Noah was my true mate. We were fated to be together. Because of that, there was a chance that things could work out.
I hoped she was listening to me right then as I gazed up at the moon and felt my desperation flow through every word I said.
Blinking away some more tears, I let out a sigh, willing myself to keep speaking, to keep offering promises to the moon should my love be spared.
“If he survives this, I will devote myself completely to his healing and care. I will do whatever it takes to regain his trust.”
I wouldn’t hold it against Noah if he was angry with me—if he even remembered me. A pang of despair ran through me as I realized there was a chance he wouldn’t.
I shook my head, trying to clear it and not focus on that aspect. I needed to look toward the future. If the Moon Goddess was listening, and I had faith that she was, I needed to keep my head clear.
I continued, “I want to be the best person I can for him, and for the pack... for our future together, for our child. I not only want to bring people together, but I want him to find happiness too, with me.”
I then added in a choked tone, “I want him to be okay. He is such a wonderful person, full of love, strength, and compassion. He doesn’t deserve this. Please... please spare his life.”
I prayed over and over again, hoping that some of them were heard by the Moon Goddess. I needed to protect our future together.
We could still make this work and have our family together, I thought. If I lost my hope and faith now, though, I’d give into despair. The Moon Goddess wouldn’t hear me then.
I needed to stay strong. I couldn’t lose Noah this way. It simply couldn’t happen.
For him, I’d pray for the rest of the night until I couldn’t pray anymore.
