SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S FIANCÉ-Chapter 204

- HAZEL -

“We can’t see each other anymore, at least, not as much.” I say, standing before him in his school office. The door is wide open for obvious reasons. I have to be very cautious especially when I stay at his place, that alone is the riskiest thing yet but I will not discard the reason I came there in the first place.

For one, I have not had any stress related conversations with Asami. That alone makes me feel at ease but only a little bit. I have a new thing to keep be perturbed. I’m still figuring out the right moment to reveal us to Kate. It’s high time. Part of me is phased by the fact that even though Asami hasn’t been in contact with me, she might try to approach Kate and I need to act fast.

“I don’t see a reason why not.” Killian responds, staring at me in the comfort of his seat. He seems relaxed and unbothered and if we weren’t outside, I would’ve considered smacking him. Mainly because I know he wouldn’t hit me back.

“Killian, this is serious.” I breath, truly concerned.

“How serious?” He asks, assuming a more serious and confident pose. I can tell that was a rhetorical question. I swallow. For so long, I’ve always wanted him to choose me. Now he is. He wants us to be out completely and I’m the only one holding him back.

I love that he chose me, but I can’t not say how saddened I am with Kate still in the picture. I’m not saying I want her ruled out completely because of me, I’m just saying that I can’t tell if he’s putting on this act because I’m here. After all, I saw how affectionately he hugged her when she arrived.

It would be nice for him to let me see that side of him in his responses. He seems overly eager to inform her that it scares me. Would he do the same if another woman was involved in his life? Another woman who’s not me.

I don’t even know if Killian and I are exclusive considering that he’s engaged. Ugh. If I think about this too much, I’ll get a migraine, I thought I was past this already!

“As serious as you consider me to be.” I mutter. I don’t even know why I said that. I projected my thoughts out indirectly and it already sickens me.

Killian’s eyes darkens as he focuses his gaze on me. I could tell from the way he moved that he was fighting the urge to come to me and make me remember how ‘serious’ he considers me and I’ve never felt happier of being in public.

I swallow. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

The end of his lips curve into a smirk. His eyes divert from me to his desk. I watch his fingers gently stroke the folded cable tie on his desk. My breath hitched. I didn’t even know it was there till he touched it.

And the colour is very striking. Grey. freewёbnoνel.com

“Sure thing, princess.”

Princess? I’ve never heard him call me that before.

“Is that some kind of a threat?” I ask. Don’t get me wrong, he said that nicely, but something about his gesture before saying that caught my suspicion.

“I’d let your imagination run wild. Whatever you may, kitten.”

I let out a sigh, hiding the excitement that burst through me and roll my eyes. “I have some studying to do. I’ll see you back home.” I murmur.

“Take care.” Killian says, still stroking the cable ties. I avert my gaze to his face immediately.

“You too.” I breath softly, turning to walk away. “Oh, and Killian,” I call, before facing my back to him completely. “Give this a thought. Your lack of sympathy towards her scares me. She’s still your fiancée. . .” My eyes dart to the ground. “And whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, you two are engaged.” It was harder than I thought saying this part. “And she’s also someone I grew up knowing. So when I bring her up, remember she’s also someone I love. . . . And someone you love.” I wanted to say loved. I had to bite my lip hard and force myself to speak in the present. They’re engaged. There would be no other way unless it’s forced but it doesn’t seem that way either. I gulp. “And me revealing this to her means I’m at a risk of losing someone I love.”

And what worries me is I may not know which one. Condemn me if you want but it’s a sad truth I hate to admit.

“I’ll be more open to your feelings. I’m sorry for being inconsiderate.”

I manage to smile, keeping my eyes locked in his. He looks sincere. Part of me thinks Killian never thought about it this way or looked at it from my angle. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you.” I love hearing these words. It just makes me feel better than usual. It’s ridiculous how one moment, for as long as I can remember, I was drunk in my feelings and his for me then the next, after his whole hung up, maniac ex fiasco, another thing just had to pop up to bring my mood back to zero. I’m strong enough to handle it and not let it get to me like it typically would. I mean, I survived Asami.

Okay! I feel like I’ve been here for too long. Even though students can spend long hour sessions with professors, I don’t think I should. Not in this case, at least. Even I would get suspicious. I flash Killian a half smile. He returns my expression with a warm look. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly before coming to terms with what just happened in here. This has to be the most profound conversation we’ve had when together that did not involve our hands being on each other or our teeth getting interlocked. Don’t get me wrong, we have a lot of those, but this one was very different, mainly because this time, I needed to be more cautious and distant.

I walk out of Killian’s office, heading to the one place I can relax and concentrate while doing everything I need to do, the library.