Ryuu Kusari no Ori -Kokoro no Uchi no “Kokoro”--Chapter 2.09
Chapter 2.09
Chapter 2 Part 9
Nozomu’s POV
"Now! Why now! Don't screw with me!!!"
"Lisa!"
I can't say a word.
Hatred is emanating from her face, and she’ s striking me with a gaze that could pierce through the heart.
She turns on her heel and leaves the store. Ken hurriedly chases after her, but my legs can't move and I just sit still.
"Lisa..."
I know it. What she thinks of me. I've been hurting ever since I was dumped.
...It's hard. It's hard to understand.
I’ve always liked her. When I first met her, it was love at first sight. I keep thinking for a long time. I thought I could finally reach her...
The atmosphere inside the store, which seemed to be fun until earlier, has receded, only leaving behind by an awkward atmosphere. That's how threatening her attitude was.
"E, ermm. Nozomu-san..."
Before I knew it, Ena was by the table. She had a slip in her hand
and she probably came to take the order.
"... I'm sorry, Ena-chan. I made a ruckus."
"A, ano. That's fine, but...Is it okay to not chase?"
She stares between the door where Lisa rushed out and me alternately.
“...”
I shake my head.
Unlike Ken, I couldn't chase after Lisa.
I didn’t dare chase after her when she was emanating such hatred.
I already knew she would hate me. She gazed at me like that every time we bumped into each other.
It would’ve been fine if it was just that...If I was the only one who was hurt.
But this time it was different.
When Lisa's cry echoed and she turned on her heels. I saw tears come from her eyes.
When I saw them, I was paralyzed.
I knew that not chasing her here was my "escape", but when it was pointed out that my existence was driving her to that point, my legs just couldn't move...
In the end, I drove her to the wall and couldn't do anything.
“...I'm going home today. I'll leave the money here."
"A, Nozomu-san !?"
I put the money on the table and left the store. It sounded like Ena was saying something behind me, but I couldn’t hear her as tears flickered in my eyes.
"Haa haa haa haa haa ..."
I didn't look back and just ran through the night in the city.
Emotions swirl in my heart.
My emotions are bubbling so much that if I don't hit something, it’ll spill out. In order to manipulate it, I have no choice but to keep running without thinking about the destination.
I wondered how long I ran. I stopped running when I came to the field on the outer periphery of the city.
Breathing roughly, legs quivering, shoulders up and down violently.
"Haahaaha~aha~a………… fu ~e……..."
The strength in my legs is no longer there, tears flow endlessly and my waist crumbles by the pain. There are no people around. Maybe because I was relieved that no one would ask me, tears overflowed.
"Hick hick………… fu ~e…… hick ……”
==================================================
Lisa’s POV
I remembered the time when I was betrayed.
A year ago, I was dating him, but at that time there was a rumor that he was having an affair.
Of course, I didn't believe that.
When it came out, it was said that it was in fact a groundless rumor.
But a friend told me that he saw him walking with a woman he didn't know.
Although I thought that was not the case, I went out to the city at night to check it, and as my friend said, I saw him walking with his arms crossed with an unknown woman.
Nozomu and a stranger woman were walking cheerfully and happily.
Eventually, the faces of the two gradually approached each other, and when they overlapped, I couldn't see them anymore and turned my back on them and started running.
"Fu~ue…… hick… ue ~e~e……."
"... Lisa"
A figure appeared from behind me who was crying. Looking back, it was Ken.
He was chasing me all the way.
"...Ken"
"Are you alright?"
Ken snuggles up to me and speaks to me. The kindness made my chest warm, but the tears shed from my eyes didn't seem to stop.
"Hick hick………… I-I'm sorry Ken. I'm crying...I'm sorry for the date...But I...I couldn't stand it when I heard that... "
"Lisa, it's okay. It's alright."
Ken hugged me, whose face was crumpled by tears.
But I just kept crying and apologized to Ken.
Only the spring bugs were staring at us as we snuggled up in an empty field.
=============================================
Nozomu was walking around the city at night. His path was uncertain, and Nozomu was about to fall over and over again.
Lisa's facial expression kept spinning around Nozomu's head.
(In the end, I…)
Lisa seemed desperate to hold it in, but she was clearly crying. He should’ve been chasing after her; however, Nozomu wasn’t chasing her. He knew that his inability to confront his fears was tormenting Lisa. It was a heavy burden on his mind too.
"...it is suitable for those who keep running away..."
The voice of self-deprecation leaked out. He was able to face his escape, but in the end, it continued to hurt Lisa and to hurt himself too.
His mind was in disarray, and Nozomu didn’t know what to do anymore.
However, there was no place for him beside her. That was what Nozomu was able to reconfirm.
"No ~~ zo ~~ mu ~~ ku ~~ n"
As Nozomu sank into the sea of thought, he was suddenly called out and hugged from behind.
"Uwa! A, Anri-sensei?! What are you doing suddenly!"
"What ~~~. I'm getting a piggyback ride ~~~"
"Gu, smell, sake ..."
It was Anri, the teacher, who hugged him.
Her breath smelled of sake, and her face was flushed, indicating that she was drinking a significant amount of liquor.
"Are you drinking? Sensei..."
"That's~~right. Because I'm an adult~~. I can drink until night~~."
With that said, when Anri wrapped her arms around Nozomu's body, her abundant breasts were pressed against Nozomu.
"Adults don't suddenly hug their students from behind..."
He carried a beautiful woman on his back and was pressed against her breasts, which a man would usually die for, but now Nozomu didn’t even have the energy to enjoy it.
"Boo ~~~. Why does Nozomu treat his teacher as a child ~~~~"
She puffed up her cheeks and protested like a child. A big child.
(This person really doesn't change …)
He thought of his relationship with Lisa and how drastically different it was compared to the past. But Anri's "never-changing" laid back attitude made Nozomu happy, and Nozomu slightly smiled.
“...Un! Did you feel a little better?”
"…e?"
"Somehow~~, I noticed that Nozomu-kun was walking with a heavy heart, so I thought I’d cheer you up ~~~!"
"...Did you understand?"
"Un!"
After all, she seemed to have noticed that Nozomu's appearance was strange. Well, it would have been strange to see him walking around like earlier. Only the person himself who didn’t know.
"...Anri-sensei, I am…”
"Un."
”...No, it's nothing…”
He tried to talk about it, but Nozomu's chest felt stuffy.
"...Is that so!"
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But she didn't seem to want to listen to anything.
Nozomu felt a little doubtful about the situation. Previously, after the fight with Shino, she’d asked so many questions that he was afraid...
“… Are you not going to ask anything?”
"U~~n. I want to hear about it~~~ Nozomu, aren't you suffering now?"
"... Ee"
"I think it's easier to talk, but...Nozomu-kun, you’re not ready to talk yet, are you?"
"…………Not yet"
As she said, it was unlikely that Nozomu would be able to tell her what happened with Lisa earlier.
In fact, it took a tremendous amount of willpower for a person to expose his or her heart to others. Especially if what was in the issue in the heart was gut-wrenching.
It also required a great deal of willpower to face one's past. This was especially true of unpleasant memories for the person, such as past sins and shame.
Nozomu decided to "face the reality that he escaped" which meant he would face what he unconsciously avoided.
In other words, it meant facing mental distress that caused him to escape unconsciously.
The current Nozomu was forced to bear an extremely heavy mental burden due to the overlap of these two events.
"So you don't have to overdo it now. The previous time, I didn't know that Nozomu was still having a hard time, so I asked you a lot...That is why, if you want to talk, just talk! "
"…………Okay"
That was why Nozomu was pleased with her. Because she was caring and behaving as usual.
=======================================================
"Good evening, Nozomu-kun. I'm sorry, Anri seems to have caused you trouble ‘again’."
"What do you mean by ‘again’ ~~~~! That's not true~~~"
After a while, Norn-sensei came. Apparently, she was drinking with her best friend today.
"Yes, she hasn't bothered me. She just talked a little,” said Nozomu with a smile. His expression was still a little awkward, but it was much better than before.
“…….. Fufu, that’s right.”
"Yes, that's right."
Norn smiled from Nozomu's smile, and they stared at each other. What made it unattractive was that it happened when there was an adult-sized-child on Nozomu's back. No, is it a child-sized-adult?
"Bu~~~~~~~~"
The figure that swelled her cheeks looked like a child, but to be honest, she was pretty cute.
Nozomu and Norn began to giggle at that appearance, but Anri began to rampage on Nozomu's back, perhaps because it wasn't interesting for her; however, such a gesture was childish, and only made Nozomu and Norn laugh.
"Mo~~~! Two people laughing at me~~~~!"
"I-I'm sorry...pfft"
"Kusukusu, I'm sorry Anri. You're so cute...Fufu"
"Mo mo mo !! Both of you are terrible~~~~~~"
While rambling about this, three people returned to the city at night.
"By the way, Anri. Why don't you get off Nozomu's back and walk on your own?"
"E~~~~~~"
(Oh, right, I'm still carrying her)
Talking to Anri made Nozomu feel a little better, so he once again recognized his current condition.
(Um, this is bad. Anri-sensei's chest is...)
Only now did he notice that Anri's chest pressed against his back, and Nozomu's face turned red in the blink of an eye.
While Nozomu was frustrated by the feeling on his back, the conversation between Anri and Norn continued. Norn tried persuading her, yet Anri, who refused to get off, may have liked Nozomu's back too much.
Anri made a dissatisfied voice, but was persuaded by Norn and reluctantly got off from Nozomu's back.
The soft-touch on his back disappeared, and Nozomu was a little disappointed ...
"Oya, did Nozomu-kun still want to carry Anri?"
"N-no. Th-That's not true."
Norn-sensei saw through Nozomu completely. Nozomu answered Norns's mean questions while hesitating. Norn, who tried to play with him with a grinning face, was honestly quite a devil.
"???"
However, it seemed that Anri still didn’t know what the two were doing.
"Now then, I enjoyed playing with Nozomu-kun, but it’s about time to go home. It’s getting pretty late isn’t it?”
"That's right ~. There will be school tomorrow, and I wonder if it's about time to open ~~~. Then Nozomu-kun, at school tomorrow ~~~"
"Then have a nice rest. Be careful and go home."
"Ha~~~. Have a nice sleep."
Nozomu parted ways and headed to the dormitory. His walk, which was heavy and staggered until earlier, was considerably lighter.
==========================================
The next day, Nozomu swung his sword in the dormitory yard early in the morning.
This wasn’t training. It was just a confirmation act that let him have time to think to himself.
It was necessary for Nozomu. Swinging his sword, burying himself in his own world, and organizing them while contemplating the past.
What he learned yesterday was that he was still hurting Lisa. In the end, the underlying reason was unknown, and Nozomu's heart was rather painful.
He thought that knowing the reason for being dumped was to "face the reality that he kept running away."
But that action itself was hurting Lisa.
He couldn’t take any further steps and kept running away.
Even if he faced the reality that he was running away, nothing changed.
"And there are still other problems"
The chain that wrapped around him that he could see when he concentrated in his consciousness. The power of a giant dragon lurking within himself. And the tragedy and unpredictable future it may cause.
Honestly, it was a problem that exceeded what humans could handle. Not a problem that could be solved by Nozomu alone.
However, he couldn’t even talk to people if he imagined what they would do. In the first place, Nozomu only had very few friends.
Also, since Nozomu himself had been rejected, the thought of "what to do if rejected again", prevented Nozomu from exposing himself.
In the end, no matter how much he swung his sword, no answer was given, and only time passed ...