Riches and Bitches: I have a gate to an isekai and leveling-up system!-Chapter 25: Fay’s circumstances (part 2)(light r18)

'What if she's so nice to me, only because she doesn't want to lose her chance to go home?'

A doubt took root in my soul. And between the moral repulsion of just imposing myself on her from before now merging with my suspicion...

"I don't want to use you like that," I muttered, forcing my hands to move up her spine, away from the allure of her shapely butt. And as my hands reached roughly the middle of her back, I gave up in one, specific area.

No, I didn't throw myself at her. I didn't cave into my desire to consume my desire right here, right now.

I simply allowed myself to hug her back, hoping her adorableness and huggability would cleanse my mind of all the filth.

"You can't tell how happy I was when you reacted to the things I brought. When you smiled and hugged that bear plushie when you found out how burgers taste... Even when you giggled around playing with that showerhead..."

My face suddenly tensed up.

The next piece of what I should say came to me naturally, yet as I opened my mouth to utter the words... I found them to be stuck in my throat.

'Wait, this is not her problem,' I suddenly realized how I was about to drop down some heavy, emotional stuff on the delicate shoulders of a girl I just met, a girl that was stranded in another world and fully at my mercy, quite possibly acting as affectionate as she could to keep herself in my favor.

"I'm sorry, it's nothing," I backstepped, suddenly sobered up by the realization of how I was about to open up to the very first being who showed me compassion and kindness.

Was it because I was starved for attention? Was it because her sexiness and unintentional teasing caused me to relax, or maybe quite the opposite, made my thoughts so preoccupied with her that I forgot about everything else?

Or maybe it was because I could tell that just dropping all my emotional weight on Fay's shoulders and embracing her right on the spot would allow me to somewhat bind her to me, turning her into a mere tool to forget about my worries?

'SHIT!' I cursed under my breath, turning around only to drive a fist down my spleen.

When the hit connected, I felt all the air escape from my lungs in the bout of sudden pain. Pain that, at least for a moment, freed me from the chains of the lust.

"Peter...?" Fay asked, taking a step towards me as the worry took over the place of willingness and slight reluctance that I could see vanishing from her face.

'Yeah, that must be it,' noticing the last bit of the doubt before it vanished, I instantly realized that my suspicions were correct.

Things were too good to be true. Even though I now ruled over a portal to another world, I was still the same loser whose girlfriend was about to cheat on me... pretty much around right now!

'Right, I have a girlfriend too...' I thought, suddenly realizing how close I was to committing adultery, an act of getting frisky with someone despite already having a girlfriend.

And it didn't matter I never did it with that fake girlfriend of mine. It didn't matter she went to a class party that I wasn't invited to with the intention of cheating on me.

I failed to break things off with her before, clinging to a stupid hope it would all be but a misunderstanding, that she would come back to her senses... Or rather, remain somewhat blind to my lack of worth.

It didn't matter if she fucked up every step of the way of our relationship.

I had to be better. Better than those I complained about. And beautiful fox-girl or not, my morals couldn't change.

"Thank you for your offer, really," I spoke out as I turned around and retreated another step, finally making it clear I had no wish to be all that physically close to Fay for her to get it and stop chasing after me. "But I would rather see you smile happily as you did before. And if a day comes you will be in heat too..."

A small, sad smile appeared on my lips as my thoughts scrambled, turning my words into pretty much a random gibberish.

"Well, if it ever happens, we will have to tackle that issue when it happens," I added, leaning my head over my shoulder to offer Fay a small, slightly fake smile, before forcing my body to take another step and move outside the bath.

"The white bottle I brought is a soap. It will help you wash all the stickiness and dirt off," I explained before glancing over at where I dropped the two bottles when I rushed to the bathroom. "As for the pink bottle..."

A myriad of thoughts and considerations washed through my mind.

'Should I leave it to her? Am I even allowed to touch it? Wouldn't that be considered cheating?'

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to feed my heart some courage.

"As for the pink bottle, once you are done bathing, I can help you wash your hair. And if you dislike the idea, I will show you how to do it," I said before hurrying away from the bathroom doors, escaping to the safety of the now-empty walls of the singular room of the shed.

"... Okay..." Fay replied with a voice just loud enough to cut through the distance and reach my ears. Strangely enough, now it was richer, filled with far more emotions than before. 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚𝔀𝙚𝓫𝒏𝓸𝓿𝙚𝒍.𝓬𝓸𝓶

Emotions that I never heard in Fay's voice before and thus was unable to recognize.

"And if Peter doesn't mind, Fay's happy for Peter to wash Fay's hair."