NTR: Minor Villain Wants to Be the Main Villain-Chapter 60: Sunny Side Egg!
’Welp, might as well wrap this shit up.’
Artis thought, effortlessly dodging another wild swing from the knight’s meaty hands.
’Both the ladies are already swooning over my sheer brilliance. No need to keep playing dodge-the-dickless-wonder.’
He hopped around like it was a fucking game of tag, completely unbothered, even as the knight roared and flailed like a bull in a pottery shop.
Honestly, the only reason Artis wasn’t worried was because the guy was about as coordinated as a drunk toddler trying to ice skate. That, and the massive crotch wound was definitely slowing him down.
Still, Artis couldn’t ignore the bursts of qi energy radiating off the knight every time he swung. It was like a flashing neon sign saying "Warning: Core User".
’Yikes. If he wasn’t so shitfaced and bleeding out, I’d be toast.’
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Artis grinned.
’But hey, his balls are in my court now. Well… what’s left of them.’
"Bastard!" the knight bellowed, his voice shaking the walls. "Stop wiggling around and face me like a man!"
Artis froze mid-step, turning to face the enraged giant with an expression so serious, you’d think he was about to challenge him to a duel to the death.
The room went silent, Juliana and Nadia holding their breaths as Artis stood there, unmoving. Even the knight paused, his fists clenched, ready for the showdown.
And then, Artis’s lips twitched. Slowly, his serious face melted into a shit-eating grin, and a chuckle escaped him—low, cocky, and absolutely infuriating.
"But let’s be honest here..."
Artis drawled, his smirk widening as he leaned lazily to one side.
"Without your little joystick, can we even call you a man anymore? Or are you just… an angry, impotent bitch with armor?"
That was it. Juliana lost the battle against her composure and let out a laugh—a loud, snorting laugh that made her cover her mouth in surprise.
Nadia, still clutching her ribs from the previous verbal takedown, had to bite down hard on her lip to keep from cackling.
Even Lui, who was still trembling in the corner, let out an involuntary giggle before immediately pretending he hadn’t.
The knight froze for a moment, his eyes twitching as he processed the insult. His face turned so red, it was a wonder he didn’t explode on the spot.
"You fucking bastard," he growled, his voice shaking with rage. "I’LL SHOW YOU HOW MUCH OF A MAN I AM!"
"Oh, sweetie," Artis said, waving him forward with a flick of his fingers. "Please. Enlighten us."
The knight roared, charging at Artis like a bull on steroids. His massive frame shook the ground with every step, and the triumphant gleam in his eyes screamed, I’ve got you now!
But Artis didn’t budge. He just stood there, looking as relaxed as a guy waiting for his drink at a bar.
The knight raised his fist, ready to land a punch that would supposedly prove his manhood once and for all.
"DIE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
"Sure."
Artis said coolly. And just as the knight got close enough, Artis lifted his leg with the precision of a fucking ninja and stomped down—hard—right onto the knight’s newly christened void of masculinity.
The sound that followed could only be described as crunchy.
Juliana, Nadia, and even Lui winced in unison, all of them instinctively shutting their eyes as the horrifying noise echoed through the room.
’This is sick.’
The knight flopped backward, clutching what remained of his battered junk, wailing like a banshee who just lost her favorite vibrator.
Artis, however, wasn’t done. Oh no. He pulled his foot back with the precision of a soccer player aiming for the winning goal and—WHAM—landed another devastating kick right to the mangled sack of despair.
"Aaaahhh!"
The knight screamed, his voice cracking like a teenage boy’s.
WHAM. Another kick.
"Aaaaaarghh!"
WHAM. And another.
"ARGGGGGHHHHHH!"
Artis kept at it like he was tenderizing a particularly stubborn steak, each kick eliciting a higher-pitched wail until the knight’s cries sounded like a dog whistle.
Finally, there was an ominous crunch—like someone stepping on a bag of tortilla chips—and the knight’s eyes rolled back as he passed out cold.
"Well," Artis said, brushing off his hands, "I think I just made scrambled eggs, sunny-side crushed. That should keep him down for a while."
Behind him, Nadia and Juliana exchanged a mix of awe and horror.
"Are you okay?"
Their voices overlapped as they rushed forward.
Artis turned to them, his face a picture of calm that did not match the chaos in his head.
"Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly fine. Are you two alright?"
Nadia and Juliana nodded, their faces softening with gratitude. Then, before he could blink, they threw themselves at him, wrapping him in a warm, double-layered hug.
"Thank you for saving us."
Juliana whispered, her voice trembling.
"Yeah, you’re like...my hero...."
Nadia added, burying her face in his chest.
Artis froze like a deer caught in headlights, his arms stiff at his sides. His brain screamed at him to do something, but all it managed to send through was a panicked chant:
’What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?!’
It wasn’t just the hug—it was this hug. Juliana’s soft, full figure pressed against one side while Nadia’s perky, youthful energy clung to the other.
His face turned beet red as his arms finally moved to awkwardly pat their backs. It wasn’t like he was getting any hugs of genuine love back at home...so this was a new territory for him...
Lui suddenly dropped to his knees, his face pale as he stared at the knight sprawled on the floor. The severed cock lying just inches from the unconscious man’s head looked like some grotesque garnish on a particularly bad meal.
"B-b-but what about him?! Wh-what have you done?! He’s gonna hunt us down!!!"
Artis, still basking in the glow of his double-hug victory, turned to Lui with a raised eyebrow. He was getting pretty pissed off now. It was fun that he gave Artis an opportunity but this has run its course.
"Dude, hunt us down? With what? His stump of sadness over there?"
He jabbed a thumb toward the knight, who was currently drooling on the floor like a broken faucet.
Lui ignored him, clutching his head like he’d just realized he forgot to delete his browser history.
"This is bad! So bad! He’s a knight—a royal fucking knight! I brought him here to—" He hesitated, realizing he was about to incriminate himself further, "—uh, negotiate! And now look at him! Cockless, pride-less, and probably ready to send the royal army after us!"
Juliana, whose patience was hanging by a thread, snapped.
"Are you blaming my son for your fucking incompetence, you useless, spineless bastard?!"
