My Scumbag System-Chapter 447: The Matriarch at the Gates

I left her purring on my bed and headed back downstairs.

The common room had transformed.

The boys had cleared most of the obvious disaster zones. The furniture was straightened. The floor was visible again.

In the kitchen, Emi stood at the oven wearing an apron with "Kiss the Cook" embroidered across the front. Celeste worked beside her, whisking something in a bowl with perfect technique. Akari leaned against the counter, supervising while eating cookie dough straight from the mixing bowl with her finger.

Natalia sat at the table, pretending to study while actually watching the other three like a hawk tracking field mice.

Skylar had disappeared somewhere, probably to her room.

"They’re going to be here in ninety minutes." I grabbed another energy drink. "Everyone good?"

"Define good." Celeste didn’t look up from her whisking. "If you mean prepared for a maternal inspection that will determine our social standing within your personal hierarchy, then no."

"It’s not an inspection."

"Everything is an inspection." She poured batter into a pan with surgeon’s hands. "Especially when meeting a partner’s parents."

"We’re not—" I stopped. "You know what, never mind."

"Smart." Akari licked cookie dough off her finger. "Because arguing that point right now would be really funny. For us. Not for you."

Natalia’s textbook snapped shut.

"Akari. Stop eating the dough. Emi needs that for actual cookies."

"There’s plenty."

"That’s not the point."

"What is the point then?"

"Control." Natalia stood, walking over. "Discipline. Not taking what isn’t yours."

The subtext could’ve killed a weaker person.

Akari’s smile sharpened. "Everything’s fair game if nobody says stop."

"I’m saying stop."

"You’re not in charge."

"Neither are you."

I stepped between them before frost met fire.

"Both of you. Kitchen. Separate corners."

"I’m not a child." Natalia’s eyes flashed white at the edges.

"Then stop acting like one."

The words came out harsher than intended.

Natalia’s expression shifted. Hurt flickered across her face before her mask slammed back down.

"Fine." She walked past me without looking. "I’ll be in my room. Call me when your mother arrives."

She left.

The kitchen felt colder.

Emi touched my arm. "She’s nervous. We all are."

"Why?" I looked at her, genuinely confused. "It’s just lunch."

"It’s not just lunch." Celeste set down her whisk. "It’s your mother meeting the women in your life. In your bed. Around your table." She paused. "In your kitchen at dawn after spending the night in your room."

"She doesn’t know that last part."

"Mothers know everything." Emi’s voice carried absolute certainty. "They have radar. They see through walls. They smell lies."

"You’re being paranoid."

"She’s being realistic," Akari said. "Your mom’s going to walk in here and immediately clock that something’s different. Then she’s going to start asking questions. Then someone’s going to crack under pressure and confess everything."

"Nobody’s confessing anything."

"I give Emi five minutes." Akari looked at the blue-haired girl. "No offense. You’re sweet. But you couldn’t lie to save your life."

"I can lie!" Emi’s indignation was adorable. "I’m very good at lying!"

"What’s your favorite color?"

"Blue! Wait, no, I mean—" She stopped. "Okay fine. I’m terrible at lying."

"We’re doomed." Celeste resumed whisking with violent intensity.

The front door opened.

Everyone froze.

But it was just Braxton, carrying groceries and looking like death warmed over.

"Bought reinforcements." He dropped bags on the counter. "If you’re feeding Luka, you need enough for three normal people. Possibly four."

"He eats that much?"

"He’s a B-Rank tank who benches cars for fun. Yes. He eats that much."

Braxton started unpacking. Steaks. Potatoes. Vegetables. Bread. Enough food for a small army.

"Thanks." I meant it.

"Don’t thank me. Thank Carmen’s credit card." He pulled out a bottle of expensive wine. "For your mom. Women like her appreciate the good stuff."

"How do you know what women like her appreciate?"

His expression went carefully blank. "Experience."

He left before I could ask what that meant.

The kitchen returned to organized chaos.

Emi and Celeste baked with synchronized efficiency. Akari set the table with surprising attention to detail. In the dining room, Hikari arranged flowers in a vase while humming.

I checked my phone.

3:47 PM.

My ribs still ached. My arms still bore faint burn scars that the regenerator couldn’t fully erase. I’d spent four hours last night proving to five women that cosmic soul bonds were real and binding. Now I had to convince my mother that everything was completely normal.

Sure.

Easy.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

The System chimed.

A new notification appeared, pink and gold and thoroughly unwelcome.

[NEW QUEST AVAILABLE: MOTHER KNOWS BEST]

[Sponsor: Hera, Queen of Gods]

I closed it without reading.

Whatever Hera wanted, she could want it somewhere else.

I had enough divine intervention in my life already.

Upstairs, something crashed.

Then Maki’s voice, muffled but unmistakable: "I’m okay! Everything’s fine! The lamp was ugly anyway!"

The five women looked at me with varying expressions of confusion.

"What was that?" Emi asked.

"Nothing." I headed for the stairs. "I’ll handle it."

"Satori." Natalia’s voice stopped me. "What aren’t you telling us?"

I turned back.

She stood there in her casual clothes, her hair still damp, her purple eyes seeing straight through whatever excuse I was about to make.

The other four watched with similar intensity.

Five pairs of eyes.

Five Rank 10 Covenants.

Five women who’d chosen me despite knowing exactly what kind of monster I was.

"I got a new familiar from the gacha last night." The truth felt easier than lying. "She’s...enthusiastic."

"She?" All five voices spoke at once.

"It’s a cat."

"Liar." Skylar’s contribution.

"Technically she’s a catgirl."

Silence.

Then Akari laughed. "You pulled a catgirl. From a gacha. While we were sleeping."

"She’s Platinum-tier."

"Is she hot?" Natalia’s tone could freeze oceans.

"She’s...very naked."

"Fantastic." Natalia grabbed her phone. "I’m calling this off. We’re telling your mother you have food poisoning."

"Too late." Marco appeared in the doorway. "They just pulled up."

Through the window, I watched a familiar silhouette heading over here.

Luka stepped out, looking exactly like he always did. Huge. Friendly. Wearing a Hawaiian shirt that should be illegal.

Kimiko emerged in a simple dress, her red hair catching the afternoon light.

She looked directly at the window where I stood.

Our eyes met.

And she smiled.

It was the smile of someone who knew everything and had come to confirm it anyway.

I was so fucked.