My Living Shadow System Devours To Make Me Stronger-Chapter 370 - 371: Insanity

You make my heart beat faster, you'll be by my side till the day I die…

That was what Damon wanted to tell Sylvia.

That was what he wished—what he ached—to tell her.

But could someone like him even deserve her? Could someone who had done the things he's done even dream of being happy?

He could've made the excuse that he was emotionally immature—that he didn't understand what Sylvia meant to him.

But that would've been a lie.

Damon had figured it out. Long before she even realized it herself.

At first, it must've been nothing more than a childish crush. Just a curious glance at the boy who stood so differently from the rest—so distant from her world.

She was curious. Maybe she thought she saw something more beneath the grime and jagged edges of who he was.

He was standoffish. Reckless. A little insane. With no regard for anyone—not even himself.

Yet somewhere along the line, as her feelings deepened…

Damon began to change.

He started to hate the silence of isolation. He began to enjoy the company of others—of friends.

And how could he not notice Sylvia's gaze? How could he not piece together what those soft eyes meant?

But what he never understood… was why him.

'I mean, I'm a commoner… I'm not even a decent human being.'

In all sixteen years of his miserable life, Damon had never known this kind of feeling. It wasn't like what he felt around Lilith—it was something else. Something worse.

'Sylvia… hmmm… what should I do…'

He shook his head and sat still in the shadows. The damp, chilling air clung to his skin like death's touch, and every breath came out in a pale fog against the dark.

Leaning back against the cold wreckage, he took a deep breath.

Sylvia probably didn't mean for that to happen. It wasn't like she told him how she felt.

She only… kissed him.

'Yeah right, you bastard… keep telling yourself that.'

His head snapped toward the voice, but there was no one there. Just him. Just Back to Back—standing over him again. That familiar scowl of irritation on his face.

Damon smiled bitterly. He really was losing his mind…

Back to Back was dead. Damon had killed him with his own hands.

And yet, he stood here again.

Because Sylvia's feelings—her existence—called Damon's entire way of life into question.

Only the Back to Back in his head remained.

'What do I do…'

Back to Back's grin was cold. Hollow.

"She's not in your league—or better yet, you're not in hers. Look at her. She's smart. Beautiful. A princess. She's never known anything dirty in all her life—"

Back to Back sneered, pinching his nose in mock disgust.

"Then there's you…"

At those words, Damon shifted instinctively into the shadows, like a roach avoiding the light—afraid to be seen.

"You're disgusting. A dirty child. Pathetic. A thief. A liar. And worst of all… a murderer. Hahaha…"

A new voice slithered into the air behind him.

"You didn't forget me, did you?"

Damon's hands trembled as his eyes lifted—

Carmen Vale.

His presence froze the blood in his veins.

"You killed because it was necessary. Because you were wronged. But don't forget me, Damon… you dirty murderer."

Damon lowered his head. The weight of it all hung off his neck like a noose.

Back to Back laughed, stepping beside Carmen with a twisted grin.

"She's going to die. They're all going to die. You know why?"

His face leaned in—so close Damon could almost feel the heat of that breathless voice.

"Because of you. Don't forget—they're just collateral damage. Just side casualties in an attempt to kill you…"

Carmen's smile was slow. Cold. Cruel.

Damon didn't want to lift his head anymore.

"Everything's survival to you, right?" he whispered.

"How low must you be—no dignity, no pride. The world doesn't need garbage like you. You only make things worse."

He sat there—silent—as their voices poisoned his thoughts. Whisper after whisper. Dagger after dagger.

Back to Back tilted his head, smirking.

"You're going to drive a wedge between her and Evangeline. You know it, don't you? Sylvia's not the only one…"

He chuckled.

"Heh. Look at you, runt. Quite the little womanizer, aren't you?"

"…Shut up," Damon muttered. His whisper echoed in the stillness, as if even the shadows recoiled from it.

Back to Back sneered.

"Still got a mouth on you. All bark. No bite. You know how this story ends, don't you? Have you ever seen a world where the weak, dirty street urchin ends up with the princess?"

Carmen squatted beside him. His voice was softer now, a venomous whisper in the void.

"Weren't you a victim of that very tale…?"

Her voice slithered into his mind like a curse.

"Your bitch mother should've stayed home. Married someone else. But no… she just had to go off and be a whore."

Damon's hands began to tremble.

He knew. He knew she was a noble—but…

"…But…"

"Think about it," Carmen breathed. "Why did the villagers suddenly turn on you?"

"Because they knew how this tale ends. They didn't want to get involved with your family's bloodline. The quicker you and your sister died, the quicker they could avoid the wrath of a noble."

Back to Back cackled. "They probably tried to hide her identity while your parents were alive—but her manners, her knowledge, everything else… there was no hiding it."

"She should've married safe… but no. She had to chase fairy tales."

"…Maybe that's why she died in the war."

Damon's hands began trembling harder.

"That's why…"

Carmen leaned in, his lips brushing Damon's ear.

"Someone found out…"

"…Someone found out…"

His hands began to claw at the stone wreckage around him—digging, tearing, scraping.

"…It's also your fault…"

He threw his head back, staring at the void.

"My fault.."

Back to Back smiled.

"What are you going to do about it…? Nothing."

Carmen leaned in again.

"That's why you'll never deserve Sylvia. Someone like you doesn't deserve love. Not from anyone."

Back to Back leaned forward, his face obscured by the swirl of shadows as Damon's eyes turned blank—bleak.

"You've lived long enough. There has to be a reason why human garbage like you still exists…"

Damon clenched his fists. His hands trembled. Nails digging into skin.

The two shadows—indistinguishable now from the blackness around him—whispered together as one.

"You didn't start this… but you'll end it…"

Damon's lips moved. A whisper. A vow.

"…I'll end it…"

Chime.

[Mastery: Insanity Lv. 1]