My Alleged Husband-Chapter 715 - 685: Is It Worth It?_1
"Throughout the many years we’ve been together, Xia Jing, I’ve never regretted anything I did for you. On the contrary, I am grateful to have had the opportunity to give so much for you. Even though I know the person you’re thinking about right now isn’t me, my heart still longs to be with you. No matter how unreasonable you’ve been towards me, my love for you has never faded. Perhaps you think I’m naive, foolish, or stupid. Do you even realize that this is how I show my love? I love you and can overlook anything. Past issues are inconsequential to me, as long as you stay by my side. It doesn’t matter to me what happened before, as long as we can hold hands and face the future together. But what I really want right now is the most genuine thought in your heart. What are you really thinking? Can you tell me, honestly, without reservation?"
"Don’t keep spinning lies like you did before. There’s no benefit for you, and it only hurts me over and over again—hurts the sincerest of my affections for you, doesn’t it? You’ve hurt me once, are you hurting me for the second time now? If I were you, I’d feel unbearable remorse. How deeply I love you, can’t you feel it at all? I’m willing to pay any price for you! My father toiled to raise me, just hoping I could be well-provided for, that I would stay by his side and take care of him. But for my marriage, for you, I chose to leave him. I rejected the most suitable match he arranged for me, where everything was perfect, because you are the only one in my eyes. Being with you is all that matters to me; everything else is trivial, something I can easily disregard!"
"Please, think about it. Do you really feel nothing for me? After all these years of my profound love for you, don’t tell me you don’t know. Not everyone has a heart of stone. You’re not an iceberg; there must be a flicker of emotion in your heart due to all I’ve done for you. Have you never once thought about truly being with me, of wanting to stay by my side and spend a lifetime together? If you say no, I will never believe it. Your every glance, your every move, every single word you speak—I know what they truly mean. And all these years of understanding you, I’ve chosen to say nothing, because I wanted to leave myself a way out!"
"And don’t ask me whether it’s been worth it or not. I’ve been with you for so long, and I don’t regret it one bit. I’ve given up so much, even my own family, and I don’t regret it because at least I have you. Though I’ve never had your heart all these years, at least I had you with me, and that has been enough for me. I’m not greedy; having you has always been enough. But human greed expands slowly. After having you in body, I always thought I had your heart too, till today I realize that you’ve never really been with me. It’s inevitable I feel lost. I wish to exist in your heart, but no matter what, I can’t compare to her. Your love for her is deep-rooted, and I am just an obstacle in your way, a stumbling block that you can remove at any time, because all you want is to be by his side. No matter how he ends up treating you, you’ll accept it with equanimity, won’t you?"
Xia Jing nodded her head and sighed. She turned to her husband and said, "You’re right. When I was with him, even though sometimes I cried for him, those tears were tears of happiness. I was overwhelmed by happy tears. Being with him made me joyful, but I never thought he would leave me one day. I never want to experience that pain again in my life. All these years, my heart has always been longing for him, no matter where he was, never once forgotten. It’s truly unfair to you. You’ve given me so much, but in the end, there’s no way I can give you the love you want."
"Some things are beyond my control. Every decision a person makes comes with a price. I’ve given so much, I would even give my life for him, and you’ve sacrificed a lot for me—I see all that!
"But now that you know all my innermost thoughts, and you know that I don’t love you, I want to ask you, do you still think all that you’ve done for me was worth it? Do I deserve your actions? Do you really have not a single regret now? You’ve given so much for me, but in the end, I chose this outcome, hurting you time and again. Do you really still think being with me is worth it? Do I deserve for you to cast aside all your wealth and honor for me?"
"There’s nothing in this world that is only about whether something is worth it or not, or whether someone is willing. If every decision had to be measured on its worthiness, then what would be the point of living in this world? If everything was judged only on its worth, would we still be happy together? At that time, all we considered was whether what we were doing was worth it, never whether we should be doing it in the first place."
"I’ve said it before: I’ve never regretted anything I’ve done for you, and I hope you won’t ask me such questions again. These matters can’t be resolved by debating whether they’re worth it or whether we’re willing. Your place in my heart can’t be measured, just as his place in your heart has filled it completely. You know that feeling, and no matter what decisions you make in the future, I won’t give up on you. Even if you stay by my side just as a shell, I am content and will gladly pay any price for you!"
"You’re so foolish, to give so much for a woman who’s not worth it. I’ve never seen a fool like you anywhere in the world. Maybe what you’re doing is right, or maybe this is the greatest pain of your life. I can only say you’re too foolish, too foolish to a point beyond any words I could offer to describe you!"
