My Alleged Husband-Chapter 198 - 179 How can you do this?_1
Xia Jing walked towards her home at a snail’s pace, step by step. When she got back, she saw Zhang Zhentian standing at the door, waiting for her. She didn’t understand why, after all this time, Zhang Zhentian had never waited at the door for her to come home. What was happening today? Why was Zhang Zhentian standing at her doorstep waiting for her to return? Could it be that there was some bad news he wanted to tell her?
"Zhentian, what’s wrong? You look so unhappy. Why did you decide to wait at the door for me today? You’ve never waited at the door for me before. Could it be that the moon rose from the west today, or rivers are flowing backward?" Xia Jing joked.
Zhang Zhentian looked at Xia Jing with an exasperated expression. He didn’t understand how she could lack such self-awareness. Didn’t she know what she had done? How could he make Xia Jing understand that their son had grown to hate her so much? Why did she continue to act this way? If so, his hope of returning to the Zhang Family was gone forever.
"What’s the matter, honey? Why aren’t you speaking? Is there some bad news?" Xia Jing asked Zhang Zhentian, but Zhang Zhentian was at a loss for words.
"How can you have the nerve to ask me what’s wrong, Xia Jing? Haven’t I treated you well over the years? I have lived a life without guilt towards you. Why do you have to make things so difficult for me? Do you know how you make me feel?" Zhang Zhentian finally said to Xia Jing. Hearing his words, she was puzzled as to why Zhang Zhentian would say such things. Where were all these words coming from?
"Husband, what’s wrong with you? What do you mean by saying you haven’t been good to me? Why are you saying that what I’ve done is unbearable for you? What have I done that you find unbearable? Can you please just speak plainly? Why are you beating around the bush?"
"Oh, so you’re playing dumb with me here? Fine, then let me ask you—didn’t you just go to your brother’s house to find our son’s girlfriend? Do you think it’s appropriate to do that? Don’t you realize that you’re putting me in a difficult position? Our son already hates me enough, and you’re still doing this—do you even know that? Your actions will only make our son hate us more, Xia Jing, what are you really thinking? If you really want our son to forgive us, why would you do such a thing? Who is that girl to our son? What does she have to do with you? Yes, you are my son’s mother, but for nearly twenty years, we never raised him. What right do we have to get involved in his marriage? He has already made up his mind; why would you interfere? Don’t you think that’s overstepping? You’re even trying to sabotage your own son’s marriage—do you still count as a mother? Our son was just starting to slowly consider forgiving us, but with your meddling, how could he possibly forgive us? Why should he forgive a mother who goes out of her way to ruin his marriage, do you know? Do you know how many years I’ve waited to hear our son call me Dad—twenty years, twenty years..."
Zhang Zhentian said to Xia Jing, tears involuntarily streaming down his face. Yes, he had waited twenty years for his son to call him dad—that was a fact. Now he was full of regret. If he hadn’t listened to Xia Jing’s instigation, hadn’t followed her whims, hadn’t left his son, hadn’t abandoned his family, perhaps things wouldn’t have come to this. But things had happened, and what right did he have to expect his son to forgive him? He really regretted it now and wished he could turn back time; even if it killed him, he wouldn’t abandon his child.
When Xia Jing heard Zhang Zhentian saying these words to her, what was her purpose? Why should all the blame fall on her shoulders? What had she done wrong? Wasn’t it just that she dragged her husband along in search of her freedom, and it took a little longer than expected? Why now, when they returned and things had changed, was she the one to take all the blame? Was she really supposed to willingly accept all these faults?
"Zhang Zhentian, what do you mean? You want to put all the blame on me, make me bear it all? Don’t forget, it wasn’t me who first suggested leaving the Zhang family, abandoning our son to travel. It was you. Why now, when things take a turn, are you throwing all the blame on me, making me bear it? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility as a man? Are you still a man? Let me tell you, it was you who decided to give up your own father, your child, your happy home, your hometown, to go traveling. I merely moved the time up a bit, but compared to the timeline you suggested, haven’t I already postponed it? Why do you still speak to me like this? Do you think it’s appropriate to say these words to me? Do you deny you played any part in all of this? You want your son to recognize you, so you cast the blame on me—that’s your excuse. But I also want my son to recognize me. I too am a mother who needs to live with her child. But with your actions, where do you put me?"
"Yes, in your eyes, you think you’re not in the wrong, but do you know? Are you really blameless in the eyes of outsiders? If it hadn’t been for your caprice, your desire to travel and live together, how could we have possibly abandoned our own child? It’s true that I was the first to suggest traveling and leaving behind the child; that was indeed my mistake. But after spending some time with our child, I no longer wanted to leave. However, for the freedom you eagerly awaited, I still left with you. Do you know? During all the years I’ve been with you, I couldn’t help but constantly miss my child. I always felt that if my child were to see me, he’d definitely hug me with delight and keep calling me dad over and over. But when I returned, my son treated me as if I were the enemy. Do you remember? Ten years ago, when we were in trouble, you called the child. What did he say? He said he had no parents, that his parents died the day they abandoned him. Do you know how much that hurt? At that moment, I regretted it. I wished I could go back twenty years so I wouldn’t have to abandon my child, abandon my happy home. Over the years, I’ve been continuously reflecting on myself, wondering why I made such a decision. Why did I indulge you so much? Maybe I shouldn’t lay all the blame on you, but we both made mistakes in this matter; neither of us can blame the other."
"Zhang Zhentian, do you know? From the first day I met you, I fell head over heels for you. For you, I was willing to give up the freedom I always craved. For you, I could endure your father’s insults over and over again. For you, I could even abandon my own child. But why is everything my fault in your eyes? Does none of this have anything to do with you? Do you know? I have never regretted anything in my life. My only regret is why I had to give up my own child for my freedom, to meet Yichen but not be able to recognize him as my own? Do you know how that pain is? It’s a pain that comes from deep within, heart-wrenching. Over all these years, you might not know how much I missed my child, but I am painfully aware. Every moment, I’ve been looking forward to reuniting with my child, but the outcome isn’t something we can control!"
