My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1748 - 1542: Confessions
Do you know that a sorrowful melody can drive away fashionable sadness, and a melancholic song can bring joy, while the rhythm of beauty can witness sadness?
Because this feeling is really quite good.
"Child, how can you be like this? Do you know that seeing you like this makes me scared and unfamiliar? You are my son, no matter what decisions you make or actions you take, deep down in my heart, this fact will never change. As long as one day you wish to return to your parent’s side, I will accept you back without any complaints, even if deep down you only harbor resentment toward me, I would still be happy. But do you understand? When you repeatedly gather all your pain on yourself, as parents, it really pains us deeply inside.
We cannot bear to see our loved ones turn out like this, your current state makes us feel unfamiliar with you, you know? How much I long for you to be happy and joyful, every single thing you do is important to me deep inside. I want to give you everything best in life, but do you understand? Some things cannot be given just because we wish for them. Everything we wanted to give you ended up causing you harm, and you know we, as parents, mean no harm, just wanting our children to live freely.
As long as our child can be happy every day, nothing is more important than this. Over the years, I haven’t given you much, instead, we gave you a lot of pressure; all the pressure was brought onto you by us, yet you never held any grievances against us.
No matter when or where, I always hope you can clearly remember, you will forever be my son, no matter what, this outcome cannot change, it’s destined. If you truly wish to change this outcome, then in your next life, don’t choose us to be your parents, only then can you live lightly without being so exhausted, you won’t be so heart-weary.
The harm we’ve caused you over the years made you feel increasingly that your life was filled with despair, you never felt happiness because of us, only thought we brought you harm.
Thank you very much for allowing us to return home this time, the decision you made this time will not become a wrong one, we will prove through our actions that your decision is correct, because you gave me a different life, it’s you who made me realize, I have a home, and a son to rely on, I can rely on my efforts to step by step return to my son’s side, seeking forgiveness from my family."
"Now you say you are grateful to me for allowing you to return, to make you feel as if you have a home once again, do you know the immense effort and concessions we made for this step? You never considered how we feel deep inside, you always thought everything you did was right, but you forgot what your deepest desire for this lifetime really is.
You are my father, no matter when or where, you will always be my first priority, because all these years you didn’t give me your presence. I know how much torment it is without a parent’s presence, I’m afraid. I don’t want my son to bear the same fate as me, how much he longs for his grandparents to be around? How do the actions you’ve done declare that what you’re doing is correct? You imposed your ideas on others, believing every decision you make is right, but what’s the result? You hurt everyone who sincerely cares for you, you hurt everyone who truly wants to treat you as family.
I have to admit, if you weren’t my father, if there was no blood relation between us, do you know? I would unleash an insane revenge against you, I would unleash everything I’ve done to others upon you, I would return every pain and hurt you’ve given me, but I can’t do that because we are blood-related. Doing so would be unruly, it would mean I’m letting down every one of you. But is the truth really like that? I can’t let something that clearly has little relation to me make me bear such pain.
Sometimes I really hate my parents, why must you inflict such harm just because I am your son, can you wantonly hurt me? What do you consider me? Have you ever thought about whether my heart aches, whether because of your so-called authority makes me suffer unbearably? You never cared, but from everything I do, I clearly remember what result I bring to everyone, why won’t you think a bit more? If you would consider others’ feelings from their perspective, wouldn’t things now be less awkward?
I very much wish you could reflect on what your actions have brought, what harm, what pain has been caused to me, I truly regret every single thing I’ve done.
If you hadn’t returned, maybe everything wouldn’t be like this. Everything has become something uncontrollable. But did you ever think from my perspective about my difficulties, about how tough things truly are? Who can understand how I’ve driven myself step by step into a corner, only to live freely, but step by step I drove myself to the end and found out despite acquiring all I desired, I lost the warmth of family that I longed for the most, unable to find equilibrium within myself. The simplicity I wish for, why does everything ultimately deviate so far from my wishes, ending as painful memories? What did I do wrong, was it because I shut you out back then? Must I endure all the pain and harm over these years because of this one thing? Why? Are all your actions entirely correct, all our actions wrong? No matter how we act, it doesn’t get us others’ understanding, we can only repeatedly stand at our own life’s crossroads watching how others treat us, what did they actually give up, everyone’s sacrifices aren’t as much as mine, yet everyone lives more happily."
We’ve always missed the past, only after losing do we learn to cherish.
