My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1495 - 1289: In the Storm

When the time comes, searching and seeking without finding a living proof, I look at the white swan road in the city, and I cannot leave my own footprints. All I know is my prideful ignorance, just like modern people who do not know how to cherish a sea and sky that have been ravaged by civilization. Perhaps only by being far from the crowd can I find myself again.

I can always hear in the deepest part of my heart someone telling me that the pain in the wind and rain actually doesn’t matter; what’s important is that we must believe that dreams still exist. 𝕗𝐫𝚎𝗲𝘄𝐞𝕓𝐧𝕠𝘃𝕖𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝚖

Xia Jing looked at her husband, who still appeared indifferent, increasing her anxiety. She didn’t want to shoulder this blame anymore and didn’t want to become the villain in everyone’s eyes again, because none of this was the ending she desired. Why is it that after everything happens all the responsibility is pushed onto her? Must she really bear the blame?

"I hope you can figure it out. Today I am making it clear to you here. I am the one who made this decision, yet you, without distinguishing right from wrong, want to leave with me. What do you think people will see me as in their eyes? They will only think I provoked you to leave with me and abandon them again. I don’t know what everyone truly thinks in their hearts. I don’t want to do it, but as my husband, can’t you stand in my shoes and consider for me as your wife?

Do you really hope I bear this blame again? You know how much blame I have taken over the years, and now you want me to endure others’ judgment once more because of you, pushing me to the forefront again. Everyone will think it’s because of me that you chose to leave with me. All the neighbors will think it’s me, the unfilial daughter-in-law, who made her husband forsake his biological father again. How am I supposed to be looked at by others? You have repeatedly placed me in a dangerous position. I have always been able not to care, accepting without complaint, but today I cannot endure it. I don’t want something unrelated to me to push me to the forefront. That would be too unfair for me.

If only you cared for me a tiny bit more, even just a little, I would not be like this now. I want you to seriously consider clearly every decision and understand that each brings corresponding responsibilities. Don’t make a decision just because you’re momentarily impulsive. You may think your decision is correct, but for me, it might not be. I hope you can always put yourself in my position to consider things, even if just a little. That would make me much happier.

Now everyone is here, and I sincerely hope to clarify matters face to face. What happened today has nothing to do with him, nor with me. I just said I wanted to leave alone, leaving him at home. If he insists on leaving with me, I hope everyone won’t push all the responsibility onto me again. I’m not that scapegoat; I can’t keep allowing you to put all the blame on me, making me bear your sins while you enjoy leisure and pleasure. You think everything is my fault and that I deserve punishment and the pressure from others’ judgment.

Sometimes, thinking about how we’ve hurt everyone’s life feels innocent, but what about us? We’re also innocent, being chased from home over and over, having all mistakes pinned on us repeatedly. We suffer in silence; just because we made a mistake once, we must endure the enormous pain you all brought us repeatedly. We have no means to fight back, relying only on our efforts to show everyone time and time again that everything I do is correct. I cannot allow anyone to look down upon me. Do you know how painful public opinion pressure is?

Today, I’ve opened the skylight and spoken frankly, proving that I will never again bear the blame for anything. Nor will I allow anyone to push their mistakes onto me randomly. I don’t have that responsibility, nor the obligation to bear the public opinion resulting from your errors."

Zhang Zhentian suddenly realized at this moment that perhaps everything he had done was a mistake. Despite never suffering publicity’s pressure for the mistakes, it was his wife who had. Yet during those times, he spoke of how excessive his wife’s actions were. But did it actually relate to her? It seemed all the outcomes were due to himself. What right did he have to blame his wife? She was the innocent one, pulled into risks repeatedly, forced to take all responsibility. She had no choice because he was her husband, and she had no option but to bear it alone.

Perhaps the decisions he made were indeed wrong. Maybe he never made a correct decision, thinking to himself how laughable it was to naively believe every choice was right and every path a sunny avenue. Reflecting on it now, he’s made numerous irrevocable mistakes, crushing him under their weight, leaving him incapable of living a proper life.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t consider your feelings time and again, putting you under public pressure repeatedly, making you suffer again. I sincerely apologize. I never imagined my actions would cause you this distress. All I wanted was to provide you with a stable life, yet I failed to do so or offer you the life you wanted. I don’t know how to treat you, but I sincerely wish to keep you by my side. I want to spend my life with you in peace and joy, never giving up on you. Even if you wish to leave, I will follow your steps, accompanying you forever and always being by your side!

Everyone might think my approach and ideas are selfish, disregarding the views of loved ones, but do you understand? When a man’s love for a woman is deep to the bone, he is willing to give up everything for her, and he feels it’s all worth it. I don’t understand how to express this feeling to you, but it is the best feeling from the depths of one’s heart, indescribable by words. I’m happy, just wishing to keep him by my side, wanting to see him at the first light of dawn. It makes my life the happiest!

Maybe our viewpoints differ completely, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. I care if I can keep her by my side and whether she will never give up on me for the rest of her life..."

No matter how immense the pain in the storm, once the tears have been wiped away, never ask why. Believe that the road forward is always one of bright dreams, eternally accompanying us on our journey.