My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1456 - 1250: The Cycle of the Four Seasons

Another cycle of the four seasons is upon us; will we still have the chance to meet?

Why is it that only after losing someone do we realize how important they were to us?

Life is such that we often lose the things we cherish the most, only to realize our true feelings in the end. When we had them, no one thought about what the outcome might be. Why is everyone so selfish, so willing to disregard others’ comfort for their own desires?

In our lifetime, we encounter many grand and significant matters, but ultimately, we only end up with pain. Some people sacrifice everything over and over for themselves, yet no one understands how they truly live their lives.

Who has ever thought about how they spent their life? We endure agony repeatedly throughout our lives. How are we supposed to bear it all? Time and again, we face fatal blows. Who knows about our latest suffering? In the daytime, we numb ourselves with work, but at night, what can we possibly use to numb ourselves? Our longing grows deeper each day, yet ultimately, we become like the walking dead, unsure of what we should hope for. No one knows what fate we are destined to endure.

Perhaps life is like this; after enduring all hardships, we still face love and separation. Do we truly understand how we have come to this point in life? We steam in pain time and again. Who knows what harm we will eventually encounter? Everyone goes through this. In the end, we trap ourselves in the deepest abyss of pain due to our actions. Who knows what kind of life could fulfill our desires?

Many people’s hearts are inherently greedy. Some will stop at nothing to hurt their most beloved ones for personal gain, while others willingly give everything repeatedly for their happiness and joy.

Zhang Zhentian truly does not know how to persuade his wife. He knows she is truly trapped in the abyss of pain, unable to extricate herself. No one can save her. In the dead of night, he is often startled awake by nightmares. She repeatedly makes decisions that affect her life, harming herself again and again, just waiting for the person in her heart to turn around and take a look at her, to stay by her side, even if only for a day. Is the human heart really so fragile? Why is it that the heart cannot withstand the test of time? Time changes everything, making it all seem trivial and vulnerable.

Xia Jing understands what is in Zhang Zhentian’s heart. After all these years of sharing a bed, how could there be no understanding between them? If they don’t even have the basic understanding, what is the point of being together for so many years? Even if they are not together because of love, living as a married couple for so many years will inevitably bring some understanding. Often, the person who knows you best is not your friend, but your enemy. You may not understand yourself, but do you know how well those who are with you understand you? They expend most of their life’s energy to understand you, hoping to strike you down one day, utterly crushing you. Yet you don’t realize that their understanding of you might eventually help you. You cannot exchange one heart for another, and only when you suffer harm and torment repeatedly do you realize it’s all just a sham.

"Xia Jing, perhaps you won’t listen to what I say now, but I hope you know that no matter what, as your husband, I will never harm you.

Haven’t you felt any of my sincerity towards you over the years? Haven’t you sensed the sacrifices I’ve made for you?"

"In truth, the greatest pain in life is watching the one you love the most leave you, one by one, while you stand helpless. No one can truly grasp the suffering in my heart over the years. Everyone assumes my selfishness is just caring for my own thoughts and feelings, disregarding others’ opinions of me. But do you understand? Each time you face me, my heart aches. When you utter those accusations, my innocence feels so misunderstood. I wish I could live happily, but I have no means!

Over the years, I have sacrificed too much, yet gained nothing. I’ve given my all but only received indifference in return. Do you know how lost I feel inside? I’m so tired. Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and never wake up again. Sometimes I wish I could just go into deep sleep and never experience another joyous day again. I want to sleep forever and never wake up, but each time I open my eyes, I find myself in a pitch-black abyss. Do you know that darkness? That emptiness? No one does!"

"You always think your pain is the greatest of all, and that no one else can feel what you’ve experienced. But don’t you know? Many have gone through the same pains in life, it’s not just you. Who hasn’t been forged from these repeated pains? Even if all of this leaves us scarred for life, devoid of happiness, you must know how much I care. I too, hope you’d stay by my side, just like you wish your beloved would stay by your side. I’m just like you; the loneliness and defeat in the pitch-black night breaks me over and over again..."

After all this, I still cannot shape life into what I desire. There’s a sorrow in facing it all, yet being powerless to change a thing!