My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1056 - 909 Carefree and Joyful
No one would have thought that Xia Jing would suddenly say such a thing to himself. They all thought that their family would always stand by their side and support them. But now he realized that sometimes the gap between himself and his family was impossible to understand, impossible to communicate with, and the generation gap was forever insurmountable. Even if you try your best, it will ultimately be in vain. The moment you give everything for your family’s understanding is the moment you prove that you have already lost in this gamble, completely and utterly. You no longer have any reason or leverage to negotiate with others.
"Since you have said this, I will believe you. I also believe my child couldn’t be that kind of man. I believe you are loyal to your family. What a marriage becomes in the end depends on whether two people are truly faithful to each other, whether one person has done something to betray the other. Once there is deception or concealment between them, the relationship will entirely collapse. Believe in everything you have done—believe in everything you have done with a clear conscience. As long as you have a clear conscience, why care about others’ opinions, or how many times others criticize you indirectly? As long as you remain upright and honest, and can declare to the world loudly, I have lived my life without betraying anyone, without shame to the heavens, the earth, or myself, then that is enough!
There seem to be too many women like that in this world. I’m not here to criticize women’s actions, but to remind you, just to give you a little sense deep inside, so you won’t be easily deceived and still have a smile on your face.
Child, you are the one I painstakingly gave birth to. How could I not care about your feelings? Why wouldn’t I care about your actions? Everything I do is for you. I hope you can one day understand my good intentions, not be blindly stubborn, and not think of taking shortcuts, trying to earn more money and hurting your family’s heart. Everything I once did hurt them, and I deeply understand this. I would never do such things again in my life. If I could go back in time, I would never have chosen this path.
Over the years, I have been driven nearly insane by the consequences of choosing this path. I forced myself to endure the pain and torment inside step by step. But ultimately, the only thing I gained in return was endless hurt and suffering. I gained nothing, only the torture of my spirit, the torment of my body, and nightmares deep from within my soul!
These nightmares have haunted me day and night, making it impossible for me to sleep peacefully. I’ve had enough of such days. I just want to live openly and freely, to live happily, without being tormented and tortured by anything. That is my greatest happiness and joy in life!
In my whole life, I’ve never really been proud of anything. But the thing I’m proudest of is having you as my son. That’s my greatest pride, having you as my son. Do you know? Without your parents by your side, you still managed to complete your studies independently, became someone useful to the world, and ensured your soul was not let down by anyone. Every decision you made was correct. Sometimes, I can’t imagine if I had been by your side, would I have interfered with every choice you made? If you had listened to my advice back then, would you still have achieved what you have today? Sometimes thinking about it scares me. Our views on life and values may be different, but I can’t do anything to harm you. You are my son, and I just want you to be happy.
Sometimes thinking about it, you feel past things can stay in the past, but I cannot. Those matters have taken root deeply in my soul. To ask me to let go of everything, perhaps I would feel immense pain and sorrow. What I want is just a peaceful and harmonious life. But the result I ultimately gain is only pain over and over again. I’m so afraid, afraid of being let down by society time and again, afraid of obtaining everything I do not want again and again.
My life has been truly sad; I’ve taken the wrong path and gone astray. I hurt everyone who genuinely cared for me, hurt everyone who wanted to hold me in the palm of their hand. I don’t understand how I ended up like this, how difficult and painful it was to get to where I am today. I want this kind of life, but it’s too hard to endure. Yet I have no way, no retreat. When I chose to let all the pain settle in my life, I was actually on the verge of collapse."
"I’ve already said that what’s in the past is past. From now on, we owe each other nothing. Let’s not use past issues to create problems, and let go of the past. We should lead our own happy and healthy lives. Why let chasing old matters make our present lives chaotic? I don’t want my grandfather to live like that. I want to see him imagining joy every moment. I want to see a smile that comes from within him, not a forced smile to put me at ease.
Stop thinking about not leaving. What you should do now is take good care of your father and stay here at home. I hope that when my wife wakes up and we bring her home, she will know about the big meal my parents prepared for us. I hope for that kind of life, a life I’ve longed for over twenty years. I’ve never enjoyed it. If I am truly blessed by heaven in this life, if I have one lucky day, then I wish all my luck to be concentrated on that one meal."
Now Xia Jing finally realizes how much he owes his son. It leads him to think that having his parents make a meal is the happiest thing in the world. The so-called mistakes he made would be unconditionally forgiven in his eyes. But does he deserve his family’s repeated forgiveness? In truth, he does not!
