MTL - The Decade of Deep Love-~ Jiang Wenxu's letter
Love your wife:
You have been outside for so long, have you been okay? Remember to take care of yourself, I have always missed you.
I am all right, very obedient to cooperate with the doctor in the treatment, Jingwen told me that you are probably not willing to come back to see me tossing myself into this unappealing look.
It's just that most of the time I really miss you, every breath that I think is involved in heart and lung pain. But you have been reluctant to go home, I can only live slowly and live by myself... It doesn't matter if you think about it. If you don't come back, you won't come back. You used to wait for me. Now I have been waiting for you for a long time.
Knowing the book, I don't know why I haven't dreamt of you for a long time. The more I listen to my heart during the day, the more lonely I am at night. Is it... you are actually not willing to see me again? I often think of things in the past, I don't care about you... I feel cruel and feel unfair to you. I regret it all the time, hate why I didn't have a better time for you, and blame myself for never really indulging you once. I know it is wrong now.
But you are so far away, not even turning back, a chance to remedy is not left to me.
I still remember that you used to say that you liked the puppy most. I don't want to let you raise it. Now Akita is half-year old, and I am acquainted with people. I still have a bad temper for strangers. Every day I have to take time to take care of you. You like animals so much. When did you come back and liberate me? Song’s assistants couldn’t eat any more, and the dog brought him in the daytime, which plagued many of his office’s flowers and important documents.
Years later, I went to find Ai Ziyu, and I used to go back to the coat that you left behind. How can I leave that coat to him? I remember that I bought it for you seven years ago. I took you to see the snow. It was a cold night, and the coat I bought was not fit. You didn’t wear it, you wrapped it in my pocket. In the arms. After that, you put this coat on seven winters, I remember it.
Ai Ziyu looks at my eyes or is cold and hateful, but it is normal. He likes you so much. But last time I went to find what he wanted you. He saw my most disgusted sympathy and sorrow in my eyes. He still can't understand me better, but there is nothing wrong with it except that you passed away.
Anyway... I won't believe him.
But after I got home that day, I was thinking, you may be really angry, I am not willing to come back, what should I do? What can I do? I thought for a long time, and suddenly I felt that I could go to you, to the places that you mentioned to me and I never had the chance to take you with.
The company handed over to Jingwen and Song Assistant, and the profit loss is not too important for me. It is only because it contains too much memory about you.
When I went to Florence last month to pack my bags at home, I found a collection of pictures hidden by your baby Beibei in the closet. Or when I was secretly painting in high school, I started with a lot of faces. When you were in class, you listened carefully to class and I looked at you. Later, there was also a positive face, because after we were together, I finally could see you brightly.
However, your possession is really strict, I thought that this painting has long been lost. It is also difficult for you to come out from home fourteen years ago and secretly go with me. There is nothing on the body. Remember to bring my paintings. I don't know if you are shy or how, never told me, even I have collapsed.
The train from Milan to Florence for seven hours, I have been watching the paintings that I have painted for you. It seems that you can see you at the age of sixteen, sitting by the window, the sun is shining and the eyelashes are adorned. Golden light.
The neighbor is an old couple from France, old and very loving, and the ten fingers have been firmly tied together. When I saw them, they smiled at me and greeted me in English.
After I got used to it, I held them to introduce you to them. They praised you for being really good-looking. I am very happy. I said, this is my favorite person. That feeling is really great, you are just like being with me, someone asks you, someone remembers you and I have been together, and always stay together.
Florence is very beautiful, just like the paintings you have shown me, the spires of the golden churches in the setting sun, the towns with harmonious colors and warmth, like fairy tales. But I didn't wait for you like the perfect ending of the story.
After returning home, I stayed at home for two months. Jingwen still worried about what happened to me. He advised me to check the heart again. I know that I am fine, I have been through the small half of the beginning of your disappearance, and the problems in the heart are slowly hidden. I don't want it to hurt my heart, because it tends to be a sign that it's not a good thing.
One week before I went out again, I went to donate the bone marrow. It was not a sudden kindness. I just thought of you. I hope that everyone will donate some money. If you can use it, you will be good and good.
I went to Argentina this time and went to Iguazu Falls. You have been particularly fascinated by Liang Chaowei, Leslie Cheung, and I have seen it for more than a dozen times. I don’t like watching movies, but I have always remembered a few lines for a long time.
I may be really emotional. When I stood under the waterfall, I suddenly remembered that Liang Yaohui stood alone under the waterfall. I and he both thought that there should be two people standing under this waterfall.
Is there a chance to start from scratch?
Knowing books, when I think of you, I am more and more disgusted with travel. I have seen so many beautiful scenery on my own, and the loneliness in my heart is getting heavier and heavier. Because I always think, if you are by my side, how good it is.
But I will learn to be patient and wait forever. I will redeem my sins little by little in the days when you are not coming back. I will personally experience the coldness and pain that I have brought to you, day and night, minutes and seconds. . I walked through the road, did something wrong, and gradually realized that the world could not be as I wished, and it might be too late to turn back. I don't ask for forgiveness, I just want to wait for you, use my future, use all my strength and life.
I don't know if I have done so much, and there is no future life, so all I can do is to wait for you in this world.
Because I love you.
May you
Ankang!
The person waiting for you to come back: Jiang Wenxu
March 17, 2016
The story of ten years is here all over.
