MTL - The Decade of Deep Love-~ Asahi Ban
When I came back from Hangzhou, Jiang Wenxu almost didn't toss himself at home. It was also that Song Assistant couldn't get through his phone. He didn't worry, and let Zhang Jingwen go to the company to get the spare key to find someone.
When Jiang Wenxu woke up, his mind was still unclear, and the warm sunshine shook his eyes, but he still tried to open his eyes, and the voice was weak and inaudible: "Is it a book that is back?" He remembers the moment he lost consciousness. It seems as if I saw the He Zhishu.
Zhang Jingwen heard this sentence when he washed his hands from the toilet in the ward. He sat gently next to Jiang Wenxu, his tone was gentle: "Jiang Wenxu, you are awake, and the knowledge is not there."
Jiang Wenxu was surprisingly not excited. He just tiredly buried most of his face in the headband into the pillow towel. His voice was stuffy and sullen: "If you lie to me with them, let me go." Jiang Wenxu smiled and added: "Don't worry, I won't be tossing myself. I have to wait for him to come back."
What Jiang Wenxu said is not a joke. He really started to bear the temperament. After he left the hospital, he returned to the company and took medicine on time. The temper of the staff was much better. He is only silent, rarely laughing, his eyes are deep in the distance, and he is always lonely.
His vivid life and love seemed to be buried together with the heavy snow.
After this winter, Jiang Wenxu lost a lot. He really looked old. The old is not a derogatory description of a mature man who is a mature man, but... his eternal silence and the gloomyness of his body. Dead air.
Jiang Wenxu has never seen any man or woman, and there is no such thing as a courtesy. He goes home with the Akita every day. That Akita during the day is the girl of the motherhood and the Song assistant belt in the company, and the evening is Jiang Wenxu.
Jiang Wenxu has changed a lot. One of them is that he no longer hates the living things with fur. Sometimes he even sleeps with a fluffy puppies for a night, and there are living creatures to stay with him for a long night, which can reduce the loneliness more or less.
He has been through the same corpse for half a year, and it is no better to live to this point than to die.
In the summer, Jiang Wenxu and his acquaintances in the relationship talked about the business, and ordered the Kaiseki cuisine. When talking about the last treat, the bald man and Jiang Wenxu said that there are still people coming. Jiang Wenxu didn't care about this. He looked down at the watch. Now at eight o'clock in the evening, he just has to go home earlier.
The sliding door was opened by the waiter. A young man in his twenties came in and did not speak. He was led by Jiang Wenxu.
Jiang Wenxu didn't like people too close to himself. This finally looked at the young man. The brain suddenly slammed, and he saw a face that was too familiar and too missed.
Big eyes, small nose, diamond mouth, white skin, black and soft hair, live detachment is the twenty-year-old He Zhishu!
Jiang Wenxu’s throat was blocked like something, his eyes were red and his fingers were shaking. Jiang Wenxu is thinking that he seems to have made a dream that is too real today.
The bald man looked like there was a door, and the charming rushing Jiang Wenxu laughed: "General Jiang, I will let Xiaoyuan accompany you out to play, my old man's physical strength can't keep up."
The young man named Xiaoyuan called the gentle and respectful voice: "General Jiang."
Jiang Wenxu’s beautiful dreams are broken, and the whole person is bloody. On that day, Jiang Wenxu made a big fire, and even a little sign broke out. He flipped the low table of the log, and the sake and the great blessing were scattered. Jiang Wenxu interrupted the two of the bald man. tooth. He only felt humiliated, as if someone had smashed the He Zhishu in front of him. When Jiang Wenxu hit someone, his consciousness was actually awkward. He thought that this knowledge book was still dead, and you gave me a substitute. ? Is this a shame to me or a curse?
When Jiang Wenxu came out of the private room, he looked back at the young man. The face really made Jiang Wenxu feel scared. He still slowed down his tone: "Don't be afraid, I won't do it for you." Jiang Wenxu folded back and leaned over. The lower body gently rubbed the young man's cheeks and hair with his back, and his voice and eyes softened for a moment: "Do you tell me? Is this face your own, or is someone moving?"
The young man was frightened by Jiang Wenxu, and his face was intermittently said: "... Someone said to General Wu... I said that my lover is very similar to your lover... Wu always gave me money according to the photo. surgery…"
Jiang Wenxu's face was suddenly very difficult to see, and the surface of the harmony could not be installed: "My lover is not dead, is going out. Do you understand?" He got the answer, this time without a nostalgic sleeve.
If this face is born like He Zhishu, and he borrows Jiang Wenxu's iron-hearted heart, he is not willing to move. Jiang Wenxu would rather find someone to give him some money every month than to let the person take this face out and communicate with others. It is precisely because some people deliberately do it, Jiang Wenxu can't stand it. How can a true love of a person possibly accommodate the existence of a so-called substitute? Then the false love is the embarrassment of love.
After a week, someone was scratched.
After this incident, Jiang Wenxu discovered something more terrible for himself - he couldn't dream of a good knowledge book. In the past, I could still see the He Zhishu in my dreams. Although most of the time I was invisible, I couldn’t see the truth. Now nothing is gone.
Jiang Wenxu is afraid that He Zhishu is angry and someone is going to join him. He even quits all the communication with the erotic. But he just couldn't dream of a good knowledge book, and he didn't have a half-point method.
Jiang Wenxu began to drink alcohol, drinking at home and drinking in the dead. He thought that drunkenness could illuminate what he wanted to see before his eyes. Finally, it is useless.
One day, Jiang Wenxu was drunk, and in the bathroom, he took a blade and put a hole in his mouth. When he was faint, he seemed to see He Zhishu appear, watching his eyes full of distress and tenderness.
Jiang Wenxu began to self-mutilate.
When Zhang Jingwen saw Jiang Wenxu again, he was picked up. In the early autumn, Jiang Wenxu wore a rigorous formal suit, and his face was like a dead man, surrounded by a cold and lonely atmosphere. He is indeed alive, but Zhang Jingwen knows clearly that He Zhishu’s take away Jiang Wenxu’s soul, and now only a body is left behind.
Jiang Wenxu does not say, does not admit, but he really does not know that He Zhishu will never come back? Zhang Jingwen knows that Jiang Wenxu is at a redemption. Jiang Wenxu can't help himself without suffering. He even thinks that only the painful waiting forever is the best for himself.
Jiang Wenxu looked at Zhang Jingwen: "I will leave after two more months. I will go around the world. The company will help you to look at it. You will pay for yourself."
"You fortunately didn't have a mouth to open this company." Zhang Jingwen looked at him deeply and sighed weakly.
Jiang Wenxu shook his head and handed over a document: "I can't bear it... you know that this company is actually a book."
Zhang Jingwen suddenly blinked, and when Jiang Wenxu reached out, Zhang Jingwen saw a trace of his dark shirt cuffs wet, close to the cockroach can smell the **** smell.
Zhang Jingwen grabbed Jiang Wenxu’s wrist and forced his sleeves up. He suddenly stopped. Jiang Wenxu’s arms were all deep and shallow, with old scars and scars. Mottled on the arm, shocking.
Zhang Jingwen slammed Jiang Wenxu and gritted his teeth. "Are you stupid?! How many adults have learned the self-mutilation and self-abuse of middle school students?! You **** to die!" Jing Wenqi's documents in his hand were on the ground. "You **** now know that love is holy. Where did you die when people were in front?"
Jiang Wenxu stood silent and looked unpredictable. Let Zhang Jingwen wrestle and vent all things on his desk.
When a pack of things fell out, Zhang Jingwen’s hand was stopped, and a big man was shocked. He slowly picked up the transparent plastic bag with a small white powder, and looked at Jiang Wenxu's eyes strange and sad.
Jingwen couldn't even send out the fire. He watched Jiang Wenxu for a long time and whispered, "You tell me, what is this?"
Jiang Wenxu's chest violently fluctuated a few times. When he slowly lifted his head, Zhang Jingwen actually saw that the man was crying. It was such a very sad cry, even to the point where he could only make a sound by clenching his teeth. Jiang Wenxu suppressed the voice, the kind of desperate crying made people suffocate: "Jing Wen... I... I really don't know what to do. He knows not to see me... I don't want to see me in my dreams... Do you know? I can only see him after I get drunk and I can't see him. But I really can't satisfy it... Doesn't the drug addict say that you can see the most desirable illusion in the process? Just let me Clearly see him again... What am I doing when I am dead?"
Zhang Jingwen sighed softly: "How can He Zhishu be willing to see you now like this uninviting look? Even this kind of thing touches, He Zhishu is alive and will not want to see you, and he will die when he dies."
This is not a lighter sentence, but Jiang Wenxu’s lethality is bigger than that of his head. His teeth are starting to tremble and tremble: "I still haven’t touched it... you don’t want to say it, you know it and blame me..."
Zhang Jingwen can't say anything else. He doesn't know how long Jiang Wenxu can stay like this? He put the bag in his pocket and closed his eyes tiredly: "When you do stupid things later... think about it."
Jiang Wenxu had a rest at home for half a month and there were no new injuries. He began to clean up the house, make dinner for two people, read books and movies that He Zhishu had read, and sleep in the clothes of He Zhishu at night. He has lived himself outside the world.
After the body was a little better, he turned over a lot of travel tips, and after he had paid for the big things, he booked a far-off ticket.
For nearly a year, he went to many places, saw a lot of scenery, and met many people, but no matter how beautiful and lively and prosperous, Jiang Wenxu had to bear all the loneliness as soon as he turned around.
Later, Jiang Wenxu fell in love with writing letters to He Zhi. He liked to drop pens on long-distance green leather trains. In the off-season where the off-season was off, the carriages were empty, Jiang Wenxu wrote pens, and the sun slanted on the tip of the pen to cast a light on the manuscript paper. The shadow. At that moment, Jiang Wenxu’s heart was filled with anger, full of swells, and it was a long-lost happiness.
The feeling is very close to He Zhishu, they share the secret emotions, and even the warmth of warm love and thoughts when they mail out.
Jiang Wenxu’s letter to He Zhishu has not been burned. In his opinion, He Zhishu is only drifting alone. He did not fill in the address, sent a letter without purpose, and put hope and heart into the mailbox. He hopes that one day his loved one can see the letter back to his side.
Jiang Wenxu's feelings for He Zhishu are different from Ai Ziyu. Jiang Wenxu's feelings are undoubtedly complicated and profound, because he has done wrong things, and his regrets and remorse are too heavy for him to remember.
Standing on Lake Baikal in Russia, Jiang Wenxu looked at the blue lake. He felt the first time he felt the heart tremble after He Zhishu left. His heart seemed to be connected with what is hidden and unknown. For the first time, Jiang Wenxu asked himself if he could not wait for He Zhishu to do so, wait a lifetime?
Jiang Wenxu smiled and took a handful of water. He waited for another four years to realize that He Zhishu had been waiting for the four years of thoughts and pains that he had turned back to redeem some of the sins he had committed. and then? Then I went to find you, on the poor, and down to Huangquan, I will not let go in my life.
I will always stay with you all the time.
