MTL - My British Empire-Chapter 21 funny toilet anecdote

  Chapter 21 Interesting toilet anecdote

  Ever since Edward knew why he had been living in castles all over the place, it was already a month before Henry VIII died.

   It is conceivable that more than 500 people in the entire royal court, including the palace guards, have been staying in Windsor Castle. The excrement of so many people almost flooded the entire castle.

   When Sister Luna told Edward the news, he was totally in the dark.

   And when he saw that his bedroom door was almost flooded, Edward could no longer describe his mood.

   All the people in Windsor Castle were gathered by Edward, organized to clean up together, packed up their excrement and dumped it in a large pit dug in advance.

  This big pit is unusual, 10 meters long, 10 meters wide, and 5 meters high. There are also 50 large wooden stakes with a length of 6 meters and a diameter of 30 centimeters inserted in the middle. It took three hundred guards half a morning to cut these wooden posts.

  Edward also laid thick boards on the stakes to prevent the smell from escaping.

   In this way, a urinal is formed, and all future excrement can be poured into it.

  Edward doesn't ask it to last for a few years, he just needs to survive Henry VIII. In fact, it not only survived Henry VIII, but also survived 1548, until Edward seized power.

  The real flush toilet was not invented until the late 18th century, and it wasn't until the Victorian era in the 19th century that modern toilets became standard in most houses in Britain. In the long Middle Ages, how did Europeans excrete? Where does the exported waste go?

  The answer is: whatever. In the early Middle Ages, the towns in Europe were still quite small, and people either defecated on the streets, or put them in buckets and poured them into the streets or rivers. In sparsely populated villages, internal urgency is even more unrestrained.

  However, an unwritten rule is "a stone's throw away", which means that the place to solve the problem must be at least an archery distance away from the nearest residence. It is unimaginable to build a toilet at home. Getting too close to neighbors while unloading, or even working indoors, is seen as provocative and disruptive behaviour.

   As the ruler of England, Henry VIII was quite worried about the urinal problem. In 1513, Henry was so sick of the ugly brown stains on the outside walls of his private chambers that he ordered the Steward of the Tower of London to build a hollow column or radiator to cover up the filth.

  The "Earl's Castle" located in Ghent, Belgium is a representative of the castle's private room.

  The living area has a den that can only accommodate one person. The alcoves on the fortress walls were reserved for the less privileged inhabitants. The substances of the above two conveniences flowed into the river next to the city wall. Using the toilets on the wall in the cold winter is a horrible experience, and many people's buttocks are frozen on the stone rings.

  The early London Bridge was not like the two tall towers facing each other now, but a crowded river town full of houses.

Residents on London Bridge also have to solve their personal problems. The public toilets here are thrown directly into the Thames River. If the sailors passing under the bridge dare to look up at the London sky at a forty-five-degree angle, they will probably eat it. That's why there is a proverb that says: "A wise man crosses over a bridge, and a fool under a bridge".

  The only moment of relief for those who had to pass under the bridge was when the bomber above accidentally fell into the river from the latrine.

  As a nobleman, Edward doesn't have to worry about going to the toilet, but how to wipe it after using is also very important!

  Can you imagine wiping your **** with a sackcloth? Very sour! But at this point, Edward is much more comfortable than the French king.

  In ancient Rome, a stick wrapped with cotton cloth was used, which is the Roman "toilet chip". The toilet chip in public toilets is shared, and it is put into a container for disinfection and cleaning when it is used up.

  The most interesting thing is that in France at the end of the Middle Ages, thick hemp rope was used to wipe buttocks in the palace. This rope was hung from the roof of the luxurious toilet, just hanging next to the squatting position.

After shitting, put the rope through the middle of the legs, pull it with one hand in the front, and pull it with the other hand in the back, like a big saw, rubbing the buttocks! What's more, this rope is shared. The emperor used it up and the queen used it. When the empress ran out of favorites, she used that one and did not change it all year round. To reflect the unity of the monarch and his ministers.

  Edward was wearing ordinary aristocratic uniforms, including a purple robe. Because of the rain in the morning, there was still some humidity in the air, and Edward was wearing a woolen sweater.

  In England, because of the centralized power of the king, the power of the royal family is different from that of the previous kings.

  For example, England stipulates that only members of the royal family can wear gold and purple clothing, and even nobles cannot wear it like this.

Edward walked ahead step by step, thinking about the interesting things he saw in the forum, and Howard followed step by step. The two guards behind him were two steps away from Edward, and the serfs on both sides gave way consciously. It didn't disturb the temperament of these nobles in the slightest.

  Suddenly, Edward felt a vibration from the left, followed by a sound of horseshoes reaching his ears. It was Edward's first feeling that someone was coming on horseback.

   Sure enough, when Edward looked up, he saw that Princess Elizabeth had already changed into casual clothes, riding her brown-red mare Sally gallantly, like fiery red paint poured on the green drawing board, which was very eye-catching.

  Elizabeth's voice like a wind chime came from a distance, accompanied by the crowing of the mare, like a knight returning from an expedition, full of confidence and joy.

   It was rare for Edward to see Elizabeth so happy, and an urge to ride a horse surged in his heart.

   "Jackson! Where's my Arthur?" Edward turned his head to look at his young bodyguard, William, a relatively thin guy!

   "Eh! Your Majesty, isn't your Arthur behind Princess Elizabeth!" William pointed weakly behind Elizabeth, and replied cautiously.

   Then Edward saw a scene that almost made him lose his face.

  I saw a small white spot behind Elizabeth. If someone with good eyesight looked carefully, he could see that it was a little pony running happily behind.

  When Elizabeth approached him, Edward saw Arthur sticking out his little tongue, wagging his snow-white tail, and running happily with his mouth wide open, following Elizabeth like a little follower.

  And Edward also saw Elizabeth throwing something behind her from time to time, and the little pony also lowered its head from time to time, knowing it must be something to eat without even looking.

   Soon, Elizabeth rode to Edward's side, sitting as proud as a swan, sitting motionless on the horse and passing Edward.

  The little pony seemed to have seen Edward, and slowly stopped moving its calves, and came to Edward's side cautiously, with a funny expression on his face.

   Thanks Yuri Yefimovich Serov, lancasterKoo

   , xinghaiyue, Minhang Menghua, Lili 599, Xuan Shuyou, Fan Ye has been in Aurora for three thousand years, just kidding, everyone's big votes support.

  (end of this chapter)