MTL - Grasping Evil-~ happy New Year!
Another year has passed!
The mental retardant ink still did not finish the demon, the book friends around came and went, came and came, after several rounds of reincarnation, suddenly looked back, only to find that the book is still living in the light.
Due to the slow update of the ink, the book has not been finished for four and a half years. (From August to August 13th, it’s really four and a half years, right, it’s impossible to be wrong!)
In the long update, this book is devoted to the youth of ink, and it must be accompanied by the youth of some book friends.
It’s a festive atmosphere around the New Year, but I don’t know why, it’s not a happy memory, it’s the desperate mood when I first wrote this book.
That year, in the coma where the grandmother was in a coma, the doctor asked the family members whether they would continue to maintain their breathing or to give up. Want to give up? I saw that my mother, Daxie, and Xiaoyan were all crying. They were all silent. No one wanted to give up. But they were too weak. Everyone was crushed by the burden of life. No one dared to go bankrupt and let the grandmother live for a few more days. .
At that time, I hated it and hated why they didn’t go to the house to treat their grandmother. If the treatment goes on, maybe there is one in ten thousand hope, maybe one millionth of the hope.
But when I realized the hardships of life, I realized that when they were silent, they were equally desperate and remorseful. At that time, Daxun was unemployed at home; his mother opened a small shop with a charge, and the monthly income was only one thousand; Xiaoxi’s job was one or two thousand wages. He lived in middle age and didn’t even have his own house. He also lived with his grandmother. Together.
They are not the presidents and the rich people in the TV series. They are not the kind of novels that love one person and want to make up the world. They are ordinary people, flesh and blood, people who are weak but hard to support a family.
In the end, they did not pull out the tube, but they did not have the money to continue treatment.
So I went out of the hospital, so I bought an oxygen bottle and went home to deliver oxygen, so my grandmother was gone.
Before the grandmother's spirit, I burst into tears, and if I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe that the man who is arrogant in the week will cry like a fool. I think that the big man at that time is probably the one who is the most painful and remorseful. I hate my ordinary, hate my own weakness, and hate my own powerlessness.
We are all too weak. At that time, I still have a second, I think so. I can't even save a grandmother for even a hundred bucks compared to the incompetent amnesty.
So I secretly swear, even if I write a small h text, even if I go to the dark road, I have to earn a little manuscript to raise a family.
It is precisely because of the infusion of this second-class mood, the predecessor of the demon, Ning Fan will be such a stubborn boy's image, his childish, imperfect personality, in fact, is only the epitome of the author.
Therefore, the demon did not call this name at first, it was just a small h text; that year's ink is just a small white author, will not lay the story, there is no book on the shelves, writing level is limited.
At that time, when I saw some comments in the book review area, I was happy like a fool. (I didn’t dare to read the book review area later, timid, afraid to see negative comments)
At that time, the waist disease went from bad to worse, and the only sustenance was to write a book. (Now the waist disease is basically good, except that it can't be strenuous, it doesn't matter.)
Backache can not walk, but also bite his teeth. At that time, one hundred meters, I can stop and stop for ten minutes, stop and sit on the side of the road several times. (Now I can walk a few kilometers in one breath, don't gasp!)
At that time, no one thought that I could make money by writing books, and even I didn’t believe it. But at that time, except for writing books, there is no way to do other things to make money. (Now I have basically entered the primary stage of socialism!)
This is my last chance. I am eager to catch it. I don't really love writing. I have a headache in high school writing. I just have to do this. When my loved ones leave, I don't want to be so desperate.
Yes, yes, that is a bit of a second, a little bit of Ning Fan, is the initial heart of my writing.
It is the purpose of this book to mourn for the weakness of oneself and never bow to fate.
Later, I understood, yelling, squatting, and mother, any ordinary person in the world is good, no one is weak.
Everyone is biting their teeth and living. If they fulfill their responsibilities, they will be poorer, mediocre, and not weak.
The New Year is coming again, thanks to the book friends who have accompanied me, and to the book friends who are still with them.
happy New Year!
Don't forget your heart!