MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer-Chapter 329: Crazy Ride!
Chapter 329 Crazy Ride! [Get ready for the Second Trial!]
Ready?! How was one supposed to get ready for this?! Jack stared at the upcoming challenge with a helpless expression.
In front of him was a huge bird, leering his way while screeching menacingly.
< Mighty White Griffin 65! :leaf_fluttering_in_wind::sparkles: >
”Scree! Scree!”
The creature stood proudly: the upper half of an eagle, grandiose feathered wings, and the powerful body of a lion. The YGG priestess came forward with a laugh.
”Your next task is as simple as the previous one. All you need to do is hang around for a lap on this majestic creature’s back.”
Majestic?! It would have made sailors blush with its curses! She was already beside the thing, rubbing its feathery head, not minding the sharp beak next to her face.
”Of course, you won’t make it too easy, right?” She chuckled.
”Scree! Scree! Scree!”
It didn’t take long for Jack to be seated on his shiny new ride, one that 100% wanted to kill him. Even now, it was bragging about its master plan on how to get rid of him.
- Fly high above
- Slam against rocks
- Go through thorny thickets
- Screech till his eardrums bled
- ….
The more Jack heard and the more uneasy he became.
Was this bird in the damn mafia?! How did it know so many methods to “accidentally” get rid of someone?! Even lava surfing in a volcano had to be safer than riding it!
”Are you ready? 3…2…1….”
”Screee!”
With that cry came the acceleration…and the tears!
The mighty gale irritated his eyes, making him feel like his stomach had reached his head. This was CRAZY!
— SWOOSH! —
He struggled to hang on, clenching the feathers as forcefully as a fat kid clung to chocolate. A second of inattention, and he’d instantly fall to his death.
The worst was that this insane pace….was the thing very slowly rising. The actual Trial hadn’t started yet! The creature suddenly noticed his state.
”Scree!” (Worthless Motherfucker!)
The Griffin couldn’t wait to doom this ridiculously lousy human. Why did it have to let such a pathetic man ride it in the first place?! Dumb Trials! Still, it would soon end for—
”Scree? Scree!” (Motherfucker? Naw, I usually don’t fuck birds.)
The Griffin froze, even forgetting to flap its vast wings for a split second. But then it rose higher, turning its head in every direction as if searching for something.
”Scree?! Scree!” (Who said that?! Show yourself, bastard!)
It was the only true Griffin of the settlement and a being none could sneak upon…usually. Yet no matter where it looked, it couldn’t see any of its brethren. An outsider, perhaps?!
”Scree! Screee” (The duality of birds: fast wings, slow brain.)
A deep sigh followed the latest screech. That’s when the Griffin finally located where the cry had come from, its own back! It turned its head, meeting the human’s gaze.
”…?!?”
”Scree.” (You Okay?)
The Griffin was so flabbergasted that it had lost any trace of majesty. The human was the one screeching?! How?! Why?! Was this a prank?!
”Tch— Flap your wings more than that. We’re losing altitude right now. Don’t tell me flying and talking’s too hard for you?” Jack mercilessly mocked.
That’s when the Griffin finally regained its bearings.
”Screeeeeeeee!”
(So what if you can speak? A weakling like you doesn’t deserver to! Idiot, you should have been begging for your life. You wasted your only chance! I’ll rip you to shreds and…)
Thus started the longest bird monologue ever.
As much as Jack had insulted it for its birdbrain, it remained a level 65 sentient creature. It even started describing all the atrocities it would commit to his body.
Frankly put, he was screwed. Still, begging, was it? This wouldn’t have worked in the first place, or he’d have to become the thing’s servant. No thank you!!!
At this moment, he needed to give the bird a reason to spare him. He readied rare materials he had gotten from the Merchant Union, ready to bribe the hell out of it!
But, just as he was about to take them out, he changed his mind. Yes, this would be way more effective! Jack went to work while the bird kept cursing in the background.
”Screeeeee— Scree?!” (Then I’ll drown you and— What’s that?!)
The Griffin suddenly stopped its tirade. A scent had just reached its nose. It was something subtle yet so mouth-watering that it could even affect it.
It turned its head and almost froze once again. What the hell was wrong with this guy?! He should have been freaking out from the promises of death, but instead he was having a picnic!
He had taken a tablecloth, a wineglass, and orange cookies from God knows where. Jack had used the creature slowing down to threaten him to set it up.
The Griffin felt a deep hatred invade its heart. The human dared!! Yet, curiosity and hunger actually overcame the anger. What were the cookies made with?!
”Pretty nice, right?” Jack moved a cookie from side to side, the bird’s head following it as if a metronome. It was HOOKED! “Here, try one.” He sent one in the open beak.
— Happy Bird Munching Noises —
The bird glowed with joy. How could something with so little mana taste so good?! It didn’t make any sense! Also, why were they so small?! He had already finished his cookie.
”Scree!” (MOAR!!)
”Hum, those pumpkin cookies are precious.”
”Scree!” (Give me more, or I’ll bite your head off right now!)
”Is that so? Oh well, everyone has to die one day anyway.” Jack shrugged, munching on yet another cookie.
Now, the Griffin was furious! It would make the human spit all the cookies out, all of them! Still, the human had a point. There would be no more cookies if he died.
Killing Plan —> Torture Plan
The Griffin suddenly accelerated, starting its torture endeavors.
It didn’t take long for Jack to be bloodied all over. His skin was pierced, bones broken, and flesh hung to the environment. He was a goddamn martyr.
The Griffin kept a close watch on the human’s condition. No matter what, it wouldn’t allow him to die! But, even now, he was still valiantly munching, even winking at the bird.
Every munch stabbed the poor Griffin deeper than any blade ever could.
”Scree!” (Asshole, I’ll force you to give me some!)
— Munch! —
”Scree!” (Villain, how about we make a deal?)
— Menacing Munch! —
”Scree!” (Human, can I get a few cookies?)
”Oh? Is that how you ask a favor? Do you really want some?”
”Screeee!” (Great Lord, please have mercy! A few crumbs will do, please let this foolish bird taste the greatness of pumpkin cookies once again in its pitiful life!)
— The Noble creature had fallen —
That’s when Jack finally threw a few cookies in the creature’s beak. It flew slowly, closing its eyes with satisfaction, enjoying the taste fully.
After a great foodgasm, it powerfully screeched as it looked at the human. For the first time, it had no thoughts of doing anything bad to him. He even looked quite pleasing.
”Scree?” (What exactly are Pumpkin Cookies?)
”Well, you see….” He began talking about a magical land known as Pumpkin Farm, inhabited by a Pumpkin Princess that turned love into delicacies.
The Griffin was listening to the story, totally enthralled, letting Jack dictate how and where they were they were flying. It was very peaceful….
Meanwhile, the elves on the ground had been through so many emotions.
First, there had been some confusion when the Griffin took its time initially. It slowly rose, and then…stayed in place? Why?
It even seemed that it forgot to flap its wings at some point, making the gallery unnecessarily worry.
”Did something happen to it?!”
”I bet the human’s cheating again!”
”No, everything seems fine. How strange…”
With the priestess’ reassurance, they kept watching on. Luckily, it seemed as if they had been worried for nothing as they heard the Griffin angrily screech.
Why did it feel like it was insulting the human? No, perhaps even threatening it? While they didn’t speak its language, it was obviously something of the like.
Their guesses were soon proved right. The creature flew at the speed of a typhoon as it went from obstacle to obstacle, tormenting the mortal.
”Hehe, there we go!”
”I doubt we’ll ever see him again.”
”No, the Griffin will at least bring back the corpse…or what remains of it.”
They watched on, the pace getting crazier and crazier. With every impact, they screamed as if sports fans— except one. When it started raining blood, they roared with joy.
”Haha, he’s done for!”
”Hehe, it’s playing with its food!”
”That’s fine. It will make it more entertaining.”
In their joy, they didn’t notice any irregularity. When Jack fed the creature, they wrongly assumed the screech of joy meant the human was dead. This was the only explanation, right?
They excitedly pointed at the creature as it did a slow circle in the air. It looked like an emperor coming back from an epic battle.
On the side, young Leaf was on the ground, tears streaming down her beautiful face.
He was dead, and it was all her fault. Not only was he dead, but he had been toyed with until his last moments. All she wanted was to help, but it was all over.
At this moment, she didn’t care about the impact this would have on her at all. She barely reacted when the priestess approached her.
”As per tradition, you will be banished from the elven village since your candidate has failed the Trials and—” Gasps interrupted her.
The Griffin landed, a man standing on its back. The creature slowly lowered its head, Jack nonchalantly stepping over it to reach the ground.
”Now, what dumb bitch said that I was dead?” He playfully asked.
”….?!?”
