Mesugaki Tank Enters The Academy-Chapter 676: Eve (2)
I had never once considered that my struggles might cause others to suffer.
I always thought the reason others worried about me was because they feared I might fail.
So, I proved that I was strong, to reassure them.
I wanted to show them that they didn’t need to worry.
No matter what happened, I would win.
No matter what happened, I wouldn’t fall.
I thought it would be fine if I let them know that.
But that was my mistake.
The reason others worried about me was simply because I was carrying too much on my shoulders.
It pained people to watch a little child throw herself into so many hardships, and that was why they showed concern.
I didn’t know that. I didn’t want to know. I thought it was only natural for me to step forward, so I didn’t stop to think about what those worried about me were really thinking.
That’s why I was confused when Feyvi looked at me and stepped back.
I wondered if I had done something wrong.
Had it only been a moment, I might have thought I was mistaken and moved on, but Feyvi kept glancing at me anxiously.
Seeing this, I realized something must be wrong, so I asked Grandpa, but he didn’t answer me.
“That’s not something I should answer. Ask your friends.”
I complained, but Grandpa’s answer was the same.
When Grandpa got this stubborn, I knew something was up, so after Feyvi had left, I quietly approached my friends.
“...Why is the saint acting like that? Are you seriously asking me?”
“Lucy. I can’t help with this. Why is Feyvi acting like that?”
Arthur and Joy, hearing my question, were startled and angry.
“Is this something that’s so angering? I’m not that good at reading people! I might not have known!”
“You’re really asking that?”
“Well, if Lucy had known everything, this wouldn’t have happened in the first place.”
“So, just say it plainly. Why is it so difficult?”
“Lucy. The reason Feyvi is so flustered is because she likes you too much.”
“...What?”
“She likes you so much, she doesn’t want to see you bleeding.”
At that moment, I realized that this incident was a continuation of what had happened in the Fairy Forest.
Back then, I didn’t want to take my friends into the Fairy Forest.
I knew it was a dangerous place, and I tried to go alone.
But my friends thought differently. They wanted to share the hardships with me.
They didn’t want to leave me alone.
It was the same now.
My friends wanted to share the burden with me.
They didn’t think I should bear all the pain alone.
When they saw me shouldering the responsibility, it pained them.
“Do you know why Feyvi spoke so actively with the higher-ups from other nations? It was all to lighten your burden.”
“I know that too. She wasn’t bad for a weakling. But what does that have to do with now?”
“What do you mean? The saint thinks today’s events are her fault. She thinks she only made your burden heavier.”
“Lucy. You were hurt today, emotionally.”
I couldn’t deny it. I had definitely been shaken by what I saw in the city.
Because I had relaxed for a moment, many people had died, and I felt guilty for not getting here faster.
But isn’t this my responsibility?
I allowed Feyvi to do everything she did.
I made her carry part of my burden just so I could feel a little more at ease.
So, this is all my fault. Feyvi has no reason to feel guilty.
“Lucy’s an idiot.”
Frey, chewing his food, gulped it down and pointed his fork at me.
“Totally an idiot.”
“I agree. It’s because this idiot did something stupid that the saint ended up like this.”
“Right. Lucy’s an idiot. She doesn’t even realize how much we care about her, so she deserves to be called an idiot!”
Only then did I understand why Grandpa told me to ask my friends.
This wasn’t something someone else could tell me. Even if they did, I would have quickly forgotten.
As my friends said, I’m an idiot.
But if I realize it on my own...
If I realize how much my friends care for me, how much they are suffering because of me, and how instead of stopping me, they want to share my burden, I won’t be able to forget it.
“Ha. You really know no bounds. To think that a bunch of useless minions would criticize me like this.”
“Ha. They call me an apostle, and now they think they’re heroes.”
“That’s right?”
“...What?”
“I’m a hero. What, idiot prince? Didn’t you know? What do you even know? How long are you going to keep acting like a fool?”
I vented my frustration on Arthur, before finally leaving my friends to head toward Feyvi.
I couldn’t leave her alone, looking so anxious, just like when we first met.
“Lady Arlen. May I have a word?”
As I headed toward Feyvi, Johan called out to me.
He had dark circles under his eyes from sleepless nights, but he quickly got to the point.
“Please persuade the saint to let me take over her duties.”
Johan explained that Feyvi was currently overwhelmed with too many responsibilities.
Not only had she been following me to clear the dungeon, but she was also handling her duties as the saint and, recently, even managing diplomatic relations between nations to assist me.
Even when people around her pointed out that she was overexerting herself, Feyvi insisted on doing everything herself.
“If you speak to her directly, the saint will at least consider it. So please.”
“You old fool. I never knew you could be so pathetic. Haha. Fine. I’ll listen to you, just to see your ugly face.”
I was slightly lighthearted as I approached the door, but when I saw Feyvi on the verge of collapsing, I was momentarily taken aback.
I knew she was struggling with the thought that she was burdening me.
I knew she was overexerting herself to share my burden. But I hadn’t expected it to be this bad.
Maybe I had been overestimating Feyvi too much.
Did I think she would rise above all trials just because she was the saint? Was I indifferent because of that?
As I thought this, I found myself standing right in front of Feyvi.
You see...
I said I was hurt by carrying all the burdens, but in the end, you’re the same. Idiot.
Ha. What can I do? Looking at us, it seems like the pathetic apostle of the divine likes these kinds of fools.
Otherwise, who would ever believe in a fool like me?
Right?
Having handed Feyvi’s true self over to Johan, I stepped outside and sighed deeply.
<Is it hard for you to deal with people?>
‘“Dealing” is a bit harsh. Please say human relationships are difficult.’
<You seem to have an abundance of it.>
‘Grandpa, stop interfering and match the atmosphere.’
<No, I don’t want to.>
‘Do you want to go back to the toilet again?’
<...I’m sorry.>
The next morning, we gathered to clear the dungeon, but strangely, one person was missing.
Feyvi, who would normally have been the first to arrive, was late. There was still time, so it wasn’t a big issue, but...
“Lucy. Did you really comfort her last night?”
“What were you expecting? Do you really think Lucy Arlen could do something as cheesy as that? Did she spout something weird? Ugh!?”
I jabbed Arthur in the side, and he shuddered, bending his knees.
“Shut up, you useless prince. You’re not a kid anymore, so stop trying to get attention like that.”
“Why me...”
“You whine too much, and you're so narrow-minded. You have no masculinity at all. Why don’t you wear a skirt instead of pants?”
“...Damn it.”
“Prince, want a skirt? I have a lot of ones I never wear.”
“Would I wear it!”
As we were bickering, I felt a familiar divine presence.
Turning my head, I saw Feyvi peeking out from behind the wall, with people from the holy land looking at her curiously.
What’s she doing over there?
The moment our eyes met, Feyvi jumped back in shock, and I smiled mischievously as I walked toward her with loud footsteps.
“Hello.”
“Ah. Ah. Hello...”
“Why were you hiding here? Did you really not want to meet me?”
“No! No. I... I mean... Ehh.”
Feyvi, her face flushed and unable to speak properly, stirred up a sadistic feeling within me.
Isn’t this her fault? Isn’t this almost the same as asking to be tortured?
“Why? Was being called ‘Pathetic Feyvi’ so pleasing?”
“Uh. Uhh...”
“Pathetic Feyvi. Pathetic Feyvi. Pathetic~ Pathetic~”
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Just as Feyvi, who was on the verge of collapsing, was surrounded by my teasing, I heard rapid footsteps approaching from behind.
Feeling uneasy, I turned around and saw Frey floating in the air, trying to avoid me but failing.
“I want to too! I want to too, Frey!”
“...Go away, idiot knight.”
“Fr! Ey!”
“As long as you’re an idiot, you’ll always be an idiot knight. Stop spouting nonsense.”
“Why! Whyyy!”
“Oh my. Are you still an idiot knight, Kent? They call me Joy too.”
“How unfair! Why can’t I have that?”
“Hehe. Heh. Feyvi. Hehe.”
It was chaotic in many ways, but this was much better than the anxiety from yesterday.
Yeah.
Just a little.
Just a little, let’s share the burden.
For my friends, not for me.