Megami Buchigire-Chapter 45 - Maou-sama and Double Yuusha
Chapter 45: Maou-sama and Double Yuusha
——UWAAAHHHHH?!
At the Demon Lord’s Castle where Maou-sama is.
At this castle where Maou-sama’s love for traps has gone so overboard that it’s become common practice to use the back door for official access, today too there are energetic screams from self-proclaimed heroes reverberating all around.
“Maou-sama. That hero got himself covered head to toe in flour then got hit by a hammer that sent him flying horizontally straight into the moat.”
“Then activate the trap in the moat that would flush him downstream.”
“Understood. *Click*”
Upon receiving Maou-sama’s order, the skeleton serving as overseer activates the trap.
——GYAAAHHHHH?!
Which causes the moat to be connected with a nearby river, with the resulting torrent of water flushing away several self-proclaimed heroes at the same time.
They almost seem like the somen noodles in nagashi somen.1
“Maou-sama’s traps are great. There’s no need for me to go out personally at all.”
The one who’s looking disappointed while watching all this is Shiro Usagi.
The reason why it’s disappointed is because then it has no opportunity to be of use to Maou-sama. By no means is it because then it has no opportunity to beat up heroes black and blue with its mallet.
“Don’t be discouraged, Usagi-san. Usagi-san is this Demon Lord’s Castle’s final line of defense. Above all else, my morale soars just from you being by my side.”
So says Maou-sama while stroking Shiro Usagi.
Shiro Usagi looks slightly annoyed at it. Animals actually get stressed when they are pet too much, so no matter how cute they might be, please do not pet them until they collapse.
“Maou-sama! Another hero-like entity has intruded into the castle!”
“Again? No matter. If they’re coming in from the front entrance, then allow them to enjoy our castle’s fun traps to their very bones!”
Normally the only things to enjoy at a Demon Lord’s Castle is horrifying traps and brutal monsters, but the all-important Maou-sama herself is just a cheerful nee-san so all that was stripped away ages ago.
Recently, nearby demons and humans have been getting along well due to sharing the same hobby of gathering to watch the sight of heroes falling for the traps.
Love & Peace indeed.
“The first one is the hall trap. The floor is randomly littered with stealth bananas that even I cannot detect! May you skid and fall while experiencing the unique sensation that can only be described with the onomatopoeia ‘gu-nyoh’!”
Falling because of a banana peel may be a cliché gag, but when there’s actually some banana left inside, the slip might actually be dangerous enough to cause death or serious injury, so let’s all be careful.
Incidentally, the bananas were fully enjoyed by the staff (Cyclops-san) at a later time. 2
“Maou-sama! All of the peels were detected through smell and eaten!”
“What?! Didn’t that person’s mother teach them not to eat food picked up from the ground?!”
Skeleton-san’s report evokes a tsukkomi from Maou-sama, but that tsukkomi seemed slightly off somehow.
Maou-sama may be able to tsukkomi, but her true nature is a boke, so there’s no helping it.
“I-, it’s not over yet. Next is a narrow passage filled with hammers swinging like pendulums……”
“All hammers have been destroyed!”
“OOIII!! At least make the effort to dodge them!! Act according to our script!!! …… But no, it’s still not yet over. Next are moving platforms that fully utilize the power of fantasy! A single misstep means a straight dive into a sea of flour!”
“Apparently just flying is a way to ignore the floor entirely.”
“WHYY?! Humans shouldn’t be flying! Use some common sense!”
Here’s Maou-sama talking about common sense, but she herself already stopped being human the moment she became the demon lord so there’s no persuasive power in her words.
Don’t worry. Even you can fly in the sky if you truly believe.
After that, all other traps that Maou-sama had painstakingly designed were broken through with sheer strength, until the hero-like entity finally reaches the audience hall where Maou-sama’s throne is.
“Wait a second, if I think about this calmly, isn’t this situation quite bad? Do I have to fight against an amazing surprising human who was able to break through all those traps like taking a stroll in the park?”
“You are quite the amazing surprising demon lord yourself though.”
So Yuusha-sama (the real one) calmly replies to Maou-sama’s concerns.
For what it’s worth, she is being considered as an ally for his country and, in a personal sense, is someone more than a friend yet less than a lover (unwillingly). However, he also knows full well that this defective demon lord isn’t someone who would die even when killed, so he isn’t worried even in the slightest.
“Any~body~home~~?”
“Kyah?! He’s here?!”
“Calm down.”
Finally, the hero-like entity has arrived before the throne.
Maou-sama let out a very unladylike scream and is in a great panic.
“Mallet Attack!”
Then from the lap of the panicking Maou-sama jumps out Shiro Usagi in a Flying Mallet Attack.
It’s for the sake of protecting Maou-sama. By no means is he taking advantage of this opportunity to beat up a hero black and blue.
“What’s this, it’s cute.”
“Kya—!”
But the mallet was effortlessly dodged, and Shiro Usagi itself is caught by the hero-like entity and pet all over.
The sheer skillfulness of that individual causes Shiro Usagi to let out a scream even while melting in bliss.
“Th-, that is the God Hand (for animals)!”
“You know about it, Maou?!”
——Allow us to explain! The God Hand (for animals) is the hands of a demonic being that has been crowned with the name of ‘God’ for its ability to cause all animals to submit by petting them until they reach heaven!
“W-, well, let’s leave that aside for now. Ahem. I’ve been waiting for you, oh Hero! I applaud you for having reached thus far!”
“Ah, konnichiwa, Maou-san.”
“Ah, konnichiwa…… Wait, huh? Why are you greeting me normally?! Here I am trying my best to seem Maou-like so at least make the effort to play along!”
“Isn’t it because it’s already too late?”
Maou-sama could not help but to courteously respond with a greeting upon being greeted, while Yuusha-sama could not help but to calmly poke at her faults.
They make a surprisingly good pairing. Just get hitched already.
“Nice to meet you. I am the hero summoned by Fitzgald Empire. My name is Yuhara Masato.”
“Oh, you’re Japanese. I was somehow summoned as a demon lord, my name is Tenkai Reina.”
The hero-like entity who had arrived turns out to be the Masato-kun who was summoned to Fitzgald.
The Japanese summoned as a hero and the Japanese summoned as the demon lord.
This almost seems like the setup for some incredibly epic tragedy, but there’s no way this story will plunge into such a serious plot.
But what’s with you people asking “did I open the wrong page?” when I write something serious every once in a while?!
“So, it doesn’t seem like you came here with hostile intentions. So what did you come here to do?”
“So yea, I heard about Maou-san from my nakama, Dullahan-san.”
“What the hell is that Dullahan doing, easily leaking information?!”
Maou-sama is hopping mad at learning about the subordinate who she sent out as a spy turning on her.
Incidentally, the Dullahan-san in question was left behind at the entrance of Demon Lord’s Castle and is currently all white and burnt out.
“Well, it sounded kind of fun, so I came to play.”
“Yuusha (real one)! What is up with the heroes from your world?!”
“In the strictest sense, this hero is actually from your world though.”
Maou-sama presses Yuusha-sama for the circumstances of another world’s hero, but only gets a tsukkomi as accurate as usual in return.
After that, Masato-san fully enjoyed the red tea brewed by Miraka-san, and then received some of Maou-sama’s handmade cookies as a souvenir before leaving.
Him getting a furious scolding from his nakama (god included) who were left waiting at the entrance was a matter of course.
・
・
・
Fitzgald Empire, a while later.
“Konnichiwa, Emperor-san.”
“Ahh, it’s you. As always you just appear out of nowhere as if I don’t have a single guard around.”
The emperor (former Imperial Price) apparently has given up and just accepted Masato-kun’s abrupt appearances.
Him having had a father who was extraordinary in several meanings apparently is a factor in his ability to quickly adapt.
“So you know yea, this other time, I went to play at Maou-san’s place, yea?”
“Sure, why not. Your conversation opener is already outrageous beyond belief but I will not tsukkomi.”
“So yea, I got this letter from them that says they want to develop diplomatic relations and an alliance with us (Fitzgald side).”
“Ah~hah~hah. Glimu. I am clearly a bit tired, so I’m heading off to take a nap now.”
“Please do not escape from reality, Your Imperial Highness.”
There is the emperor who’s grabbed his pillow and is heading off to hole himself up in his bedroom, then there is the knight who’s stopping him.
Today, too, this otherworld is at peace.
1 Nagashi somen is a dish(?) where there are noodles (called somen) flowing down an inclined bamboo in front of you, and you have to catch it with your chopsticks.
2 Due to the great shortage of food after WWII, the Japanese have acquired a very healthy appreciation for food, and children are strictly taught to not waste food. So on TV programs where a lot of food was used, often they edit in the line “the food was fully enjoyed by the staff at a later time” as a sort of disclaimer. Whether the staff actually ate the food or not, the viewers wouldn’t know anyways, so the usage of this line is more of a tongue-in-cheek joke.
