Martial Arts? Sorry, I am better at Thunder Spell!-Chapter 86 - : 087 I kill like cutting grass, and you want me to be a porter? (3rd update! Asking for subscriptions! Votes for the month!)

Chapter 86: 087 I kill like cutting grass, and you want me to be a porter? (3rd update! Asking for subscriptions! Votes for the month!)

On the mountain trail.

A female reporter was live streaming while climbing the mountain.

As she climbed, she excitedly said to her audience, “Everyone watching, you’ll never guess who I’m climbing with right now! Do you see these people beside me? They’re all zombies!”

The female reporter spoke while she started filming with her camera.

Live chat viewers commented: “6666666! Is this at Qingyun Mountain? Holy shit! I see Taoist Jing Feng! Disciples of the slide tackle sect pay their respects to the Sect Leader!”

“So these are the zombies captured from Ziyang City! I’ve heard they’re pretty tough! Aren’t you afraid of getting bitten by a zombie, host?”

...

“Sister’s got guts for sure, If it were me, I wouldn’t dare get so close to a zombie!”

“What’s there to fear? This is Qingyun Mountain, with so many Red Robed Taoists watching over and even Purple Robed Heavenly Masters on the mountain—all keeping an eye out. Do you think these zombies dare make a move?”

“Why are all these zombies wearing a big black robe?”

“Duh, they’re taking zombies up the mountain in broad daylight. No matter what, they have to cover up a bit for appearances’ sake, otherwise it’d be too blatant.”

“Isn’t this blatant enough? Who doesn’t know these are zombies!”

At this moment, the female reporter also said, “Hold on, everyone, I’m going to get close and film the zombies in broad daylight for all of you!”

Right after the reporter spoke, she moved closer to the zombie procession to continue the live broadcast.

Just then, a Yellow Robed Taoist approached quickly, “Supreme Heavenly Venerate, this laywoman here, please be careful; these are guests of our Qingyun Mountain. Avoid filming them recklessly.”

“Nothing to worry about, Taoist. I’m brave and not afraid of them; I know they’re all zombies, right? I’ve watched the live stream,” replied the female reporter.

Hearing the reporter’s words,

The Yellow Robed Taoist looked serious and said, “What zombies? Don’t be misled by online media and clickbait accounts; these are homeless people who have voluntarily come to our Qingyun Mountain to work as street sweepers!”

The Yellow Robed Taoist said this in all seriousness.

However, at that moment, a figure within the group twitched its nose, catching the scent of living humans nearby.

It couldn’t resist and turned to glance at the reporter.

This moment was coincidentally captured by the livestreaming camera.

In the video, beneath the large hood of the black robe was a gaunt face.

Like an old cured meat that had been dried in the wind for a hundred years, twisted together, the face was covered in green hair—fierce and terrifying—with each inhale and exhale, it even exhaled black Corpse Qi.

The Yellow Robed Taoist noticed that this zombie had broken the rules by turning its head.

The Taoist’s face darkened and he yelled sharply,

“What are you looking at? Keep going!”

The zombie shuddered in fright, shakily tucking its head back in and scurrying up the mountain like a child who had done something wrong.

Live chat viewers: “6666666!”

“This is the homeless man the Taoist talked about? Their face is freaking hairy.”

“Full face of green hair, corpse-like figure, skin like hundred-year cured meat—homeless people have never been slandered so badly!”

“Homeless man: no matter how down on my luck I am, I’ve never been this bad! Watch out for a lawyer’s warning!”

“In ancient times there was Zhao Gao, who pointed at a deer and called it a horse, and now we have the Yellow Robed Taoist calling zombies homeless—the loyalty is astounding!”

“Zombie: I say I’m not here voluntarily; do you believe me?”

“Hahaha, what a miserable zombie! Even movies wouldn’t dare to depict it like this!”

“This feels like the worst students in the country falling into the hands of the most authoritative and strictest teachers—hilarious!”

“Zombie: Don’t zombies have rights anymore?

Taoist: Bullshit! Zombies obviously don’t have rights! Either work as a volunteer or get incinerated on the spot, your choice!”

“Zombie’s resentment points +999999!”

…

Under the leadership of Taoist Jing Feng and others,

This group of zombies was captured and brought up the mountain.

After special education,

The Red Robed Taoists of Qingyun Mountain dressed each zombie in a cleaning uniform and put a mask on them.

Then, according to different positions, they considerately assigned jobs to each zombie.

These positions were divided into: sweeping group, scrubbing group, tour guide group, and emergency aid group.

The sweeping group was the easiest to understand.

It meant each person got a broom and dustpan to sweep in different areas of Qingyun Mountain.

The scrubbing group was responsible for cleaning the Divine Statues, tables, chairs, and doors.

The tour guide group’s job was a bit more complex,

Carrying a recorded explanation of each scenic spot’s features on a loudspeaker, and standing in fixed areas within the scenic region.

Whenever tourists arrived at these areas,

The zombies would turn on the loudspeaker to play the features of the attraction for the visitors.

As for the emergency aid group,

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It was the most important position.

If tourists on the mountain encountered danger or were injured and could not descend on their own,

Emergency aid zombies would act as porters and makeshift cable cars,

Carrying the tourists down the mountain.

Currently, there were only two individuals tasked with this important role in the emergency aid group,

Those two red Flying Zombies,

Because they were capable of flying and burrowing underground,

Making them particularly suitable for emergency medical personnel.

If a tourist got injured or did not wish to walk down the stone steps on their own,

They could pay fifty yuan to have a Flying Zombie carry them down quickly.

This was not only convenient for the tourists, but Qingyun Mountain could also earn some project fees from the zombies.

It was a win-win situation.

Of course, the zombies definitely had no say.

Especially those two Flying Zombies,

Never in their lives had they been this speechless.

Flying Zombie: I’m a damn Flying Zombie, cultivated for a thousand years, I kill without blinking an eye, and you’re making me a porter? Isn’t this a bit too much?

Taoist: “Either become a porter or go sweep the floors at the Taoist Temple.”

Flying Zombie: “Fuck me, does being a zombie mean I’m not treated as a person? Fine, porter it is!”

…

From that day forth, not only did Qingyun Mountain have more cleaners,

But there were also designated tour guides and two porters.

On the mountain trail,

Zhou Yuanpeng and Zhang Tong were engaged in their routine sweeping task.

As they swept, they suddenly uttered a ‘huh’.

They both sensed something was off today.

Normally, they were the only two sweeping the paths on the entire Qingyun Mountain.

So why were there a few more today?

Zhang Tong and Zhou Yuanpeng exchanged a glance,

Delighted in their hearts.

Someone else came to challenge the Heavenly Master and lost, and now they were sent here to sweep as punishment, right?

The two of them approached the newcomers to greet them.

“Bro, you’re new here, huh! Did you also challenge the Heavenly Master? Tell us, how many years do you have to sweep here?”

“Why don’t you respond when someone greets you?”

“Hey! That’s really impolite, too cocky, bro. Don’t act all high and mighty in front of me. Are you listening?”

Zhou Yuanpeng was speaking to the new sweeper half the day, but the other party didn’t pay him any attention.

This irritated Zhou Yuanpeng.

Damn it!

I dare not mess with the Heavenly Master, and I can’t beat the Taoists on the mountain.

But this new cleaner dares to swagger around me?

Zhou Yuanpeng directly pushed this cleaner.

He knocked off the other party’s hat.

Looking at this kid daring to wear a mask in broad daylight, thinking they’re some high-society thug.

Zhou Yuanpeng: “Damn! Kid, you’re really acting up! Wearing a mask during the day, think you’re so cool?

Today, I’ll teach you the lesson of ‘Ne Zha causing a commotion in the sea, stripping sinews and flaying scales, so curb your attitude and be humble!'”

Zhou Yuanpeng grabbed the mask and lifted it while the unsuspecting new cleaner wasn’t looking.

The next second, the cleaner turned around to face Zhou Yuanpeng and Zhang Tong with a ‘kindly’ look.

The face, like cured meat, twitched, and the mouth slightly opened, immediately emitting a large puff of black Corpse Qi.

Fur Zombie: “What’s up, brother? We’re all in the sweeping business, why you taking off my mask?”

Zhou Yuanpeng was previously very arrogant, but the next second he saw the face behind the mask exhaling black qi,

He was nearly scared out of his wits, feeling a chill shoot up to his heavenly spirit’s cover.

Now he understood why this guy wore a mask.

Holy mother of hell, broad daylight and I saw a ghost!

Brothers, I’m begging for monthly tickets! At least two more chapters tonight! Definitely hefty and satisfying!

Monthly tickets! Monthly tickets!