Martial Arts Ain't Anything Special-Chapter 4: Chunbong the Crossdresser

The men who reflexively blocked Seojun’s stick attack looked bewildered.

“What the... Is this guy insane?”

What kind of lunatic charges at someone with a sword while wielding just a stick? It isn’t like he’s some martial arts master.

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“Wait...! Time out! Just a moment, please!”

As Seojun waved his hands, they waited to hear him out, curious about what he had to say.

“Who are you guys?! How did you block that? It was supposed to be a surprise attack!”

“The hell...”

It seems he’s really lost his mind. The criminals gave up on conversation and raised their swords.

“You fucking...! Hey! Are you crazy!?”

Chunbong shouted. Seojun had his own reasons.

“These bastards sliced open my belly!”

“What!? These lowlifes!”

Chunbong flared up in anger but then thought for a moment and backed away. Being angry was one thing, but suicide was another matter entirely.

“Hey hey, let’s just get the fuck outta here.”

“How?”

As soon as Seojun spoke, one of the criminal guys stepped forward and swung his sword.

The blade was longer than an adult’s forearm. Its broad surface made it look even more vicious. It was obvious that a fragile stick couldn’t block it.

Swish—!

Seojun quickly ducked, the sword passing over his head.

“Ah, seriously...!”

If anything had changed over the past few days, it was that he now had martial arts and a better understanding of his own body.

From there, he desperately thought about ways to win.

They have a sword, I have a stick. Their weapons are much longer, their arms are naturally longer, they’re stronger, and of course, they’re faster.

“I’m screwed.”

Slice—!

As the sword grazed his cheek, Seojun’s face hardened. No choice then.

Having made up his mind, Seojun dove head-first into the criminals.

“This guy’s lost it.”

The criminal man raised his knee, but Seojun had expected this and pushed it away with his hand, then rolled to the side and quickly got up.

Total Annihilation. In simpler terms, a horizontal slash.

But the stick swung by a small child from a crouched position was much lower than expected.

Thwack—!

“Ugh...!”

The criminal staggered when his knee was struck dead-on, and Seojun immediately followed up by driving his right foot forward. Chunbong’s teachings flashed through his mind.

Heaven is the sky. The Weight of Mount Tai derived from it means pressing down on the head with the force of a great mountain. What does that mean? It’s just a vertical slash.

It wasn’t much help, but the sutra of the Three Principles Cultivation Technique came to mind.

By nature, humans are insignificant creatures who strive to ascend from earth to heaven, and only upon reaching the heavens to become a heavenly being do they truly achieve the meaning of man. The first step begins with bringing the tip of the sword down from heaven to earth.

He had no intention of interpreting it like a literary work. There was no time for that. As the sutra was engraved in his mind, a single image appeared.

“Weight of Mount Tai.”

The sword’s tip pulled down the sky. Not literally, of course, just in his mind’s eye.

Like he was a man possessed, he let his heart guide the blade down onto the criminal’s head.

Crack—!

It burst. The stick, the person’s head.

Various splinters, red blood, and pale brain matter splattered in all directions, vividly imprinting themselves into his eyes.

Time seemed to slow down as he watched the moment the criminal’s life faded away.

“Deokgu...! You...! You son of a bitch...!”

The remaining criminal charged forward. However, even through his hazy consciousness, his body moved. Using the stick in his hand as a sword...

“Ah.”

The stick shattered too, didn’t it? I’m empty-handed now?

As his trance broke, the panicking Seojun quickly threw himself to the side.

Swoosh—!

The sword cut through about a hand’s width of his hair. He hurriedly rolled on the ground. When he got up, he saw the criminal’s face contorted like a bloodthirsty demon.

“Oh...”

The cold corpse of the other criminal was there too. He wanted to use that guy’s sword, but he’d have to get closer to grab it.

Before he could finish that thought, the surviving criminal lunged at him.

“Shit.”

What should he do? His mind raced in confusion, and just as he was about to dodge,

Tap—

Chunbong brushed past him.

“Wow, Master’s the best!”

The man swung his sword down. Chunbong fearlessly thrust out his hand, past the sharp edge, palm catching the flat of the blade.

Swish—!

The gently pushed sword’s path curved. In front of the astonished man, Chunbong pivoted his waist and opened his palm.

“This...!”

The man ignored it. It was just a kid after all. He’d take one hit and then crack that little head open.

However, the price of ignorance was harsh.

Thump—

Chunbong’s palm touched the man’s abdomen. A faint wind expanded outwards, the two figures standing frozen for a single moment. Then, the man’s body fell, stiff.

Blood trickled down from the fallen man’s mouth. From his knowledge of martial arts novels, Seojun could make a rough guess. Though he wasn’t sure if it was called the same thing here, this had to be a palm technique.

“Haah... Are you okay?”

Seojun chuckled at Chunbong’s question.

“Of course. Don’t you see? Not even a scratch.”

“Not your body. It must be your first time killing someone.”

“Hm? I’m completely fine though?”

He moved his arms and legs around to prove that he was fine. Chunbong chuckled, but Seojun found him looking strange instead.

“Are you okay yourself? Your face is pale.”

For someone concerned about others, he actually looked worse off himself. Though he was a cheeky brat, he was also surprisingly soft-hearted. The shock of taking a life must have affected him deeply.

“I’m fi- Cough...!”

Blood poured out from Chunbong’s mouth like a waterfall.

“Oh... Oh shit...”

Seojun ran over panicking to support him, blood continuing to flow. To the frantic Seojun, Chunbong managed to say.

“I-I’m going to qi breathe... stand guard... for me...”

“G-Got it.”

Seojun awkwardly stood guard next to Chunbong as he sat cross-legged and closed his eyes. Watching him silently, Seojun only let out a sigh of relief when Chunbong’s breathing stabilized.

“Phew... I thought it’d be real bad.”

As he took a deep breath, the smell of blood hit him.

Looking at it now, he had really made quite a mess. The sight of a smashed head with stuff scattered everywhere was hard to call pleasant, even as a joke.

No, wait. In murim, some people might actually find this pleasant?

Anyways, compared to that, the guy Chunbong took out was clean. Just some blood from the mouth. He almost looked like he could get up and move at any moment.

“Huh?”

He really is moving? The guy’s fingers are twitching. Seojun glanced at Chunbong, still circulating his qi and breathing.

As far as Seojun knew, interrupting someone during qi breathing was dangerous. Something about meridians getting twisted or even worse, qi deviation?

“For fuck’s sake.”

Seojun moved nimbly and stealthily, stepping on the man’s head. He didn’t intend to crush it. That would be too cruel.

Instead, he thought back to Chunbong’s technique. He wasn’t sure, but it was probably something like the Internal Explosive Qi Strike, a technique targetting the inside rather than the outside.

“Like this?”

Thud—

With a small sound, the man’s fingertips went limp, blood gushing from his nose.

“Geez, that was scary.”

As Seojun wiped the sweat from his forehead, a thought occurred to him. Since there’s not much to do now anyway, why not try getting some money?

Let’s see...

First, he grabbed the large swords. Two swords!

Then, after thoroughly searching the two bodies, he found a decent amount of money.

So this is what money looks like here?

It definitely looked like currency. If he had to compare it to something, maybe copper coins?

He hadn’t expected to find silver or gold often seen in martial arts novels. People with that kind of money wouldn’t be living here.

About ten minutes passed as he meticulously stripped those guys of their belongings. Chunbong still showed no signs of waking up.

He’ll wake up eventually.

Might as well think about what to do in the meantime.

*About half a day passed while thinking about what to do. Without a clock, he couldn’t be sure, but the sky that had been blue was now red, so it must have been right.

Really, what should I do?

As he continued the half-day-long contemplating, he heard a rustling sound.

“Oh, you’re up?”

“...How long was I out?”

“Let’s see... about half a day?”

Grumble— A sound came from his stomach. Chunbong sighed and got up.

“Ugh...”

“Whoa, careful there.”

Seeing him stagger, Seojun supported him, and Chunbong leaned his entire body on him.

“Hey, carry me on your back. I’m exhausted.”

“Wow, how shameless of you.”

He carried him anyway. He was quite light. As he started walking, Chunbong began to grumble.

“I’m dying here... Why do I have to suffer like this...”

“Ah, thank you ever so kindly! Thanks to you I’m alive.”

“Right? Then steal me another tanghulu tomorrow, I’m dying to have one.”

“You fucker.”

The sheer audacity.

“Fine, you bastard.”

*Even after getting home, Chunbong couldn’t muster any strength. No joke, he was groaning like death was at his doorstep, which was more than a little concerning.

“Hey, are you really fine?”

“Ah, I’m... fine... really...”

People who were fine usually didn’t sweat like that. His already ragged clothes were now soaked with sweat, anyone seeing that would feel uneasy.

To begin with, Chunbong’s body smelled mysteriously good, but his clothes didn’t. Unless Chunbong’s sweat was an air freshener, it was bound to smell terrible. Even just getting them wet would make them reek.

“Ha, this kid’s hopeless.”

Water? We had that.

Clothes? If you could call them clothes, we got some.

Then we were all set.

“Chunbong, you brat, come here. Let your big bro wash you up.”

“...Touch me and I’ll really kill you.”

“Come on, it won’t hurt. Just come here.”

“Don’t. I said don’t.”

Chunbong tried to crawl away with his aching body.

“I-I told you to stop! Hey! HEY! DON’T DO THAT...! YOU SHITTY BASTARD...! KYAAAAA...!”

“Well well, what a girlish scream you have there.”

“You crazy pervert...! Don’t undress me...! Kyaa! YOU FUCKER!”

See, I knew this brat wasn’t a guy.