Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 78 - 77: "Where Do I Fall Short?

Her dorm mates were the worst. They would come over from time to time to fish for information, asking if she and the class president had broken up. Then they’d go on about how the class president’s gaze was so deep and full of devotion whenever he looked at her...

’They learn a few new words and just throw them around so carelessly.’

’So, the entire rocket class probably thinks I’m the one who screwed over Xi Zirong?’

But the truth is, we were never even together!

Xi Zirong watched her in silence for a few seconds before asking, "Where do I fall short?"

’What?’

It took Xu Su a moment to register his question.

Xi Zirong pressed, "Xu Su, compared to that other guy, what am I lacking?"

"..."

Xu Su’s first instinct was to look around. It was the lunch break, and students were still coming and going from the dorm building. A few who recognized them kept glancing in their direction.

Fortunately, they were all too far away to hear the conversation.

Even so, Xu Su had no desire to discuss such topics in public.

She turned and glared at Xi Zirong, only to meet his focused, unyielding gaze.

"..."

Speechless once again, Xu Su decided to ignore him. She simply walked around him and continued on her way, but the sound of footsteps dogged her from behind.

And so, a unique scene unfolded on the campus path: a petite, pretty girl walking briskly ahead, with a tall, long-legged boy following her at a steady pace.

Soon, Xu Su couldn’t stand it any longer. She veered off her path, heading for the athletic field instead of the classroom.

She walked behind a large tree, and only after making sure that passing students wouldn’t notice them did she turn to face the boy who had been trailing her.

She was utterly exasperated. "Xi Zirong, why don’t you just find someone else to like? You’re causing me a huge amount of trouble."

’How did I not realize it from the start? This cool, aloof academic prodigy is as clingy as a burr...’

Hurt flashed in Xi Zirong’s eyes. He made no effort to hide his pain, simply staring at her.

’...’ Why do I suddenly feel so guilty?

Xu Su quickly tried to choose her words carefully, then began to speak slowly. "You’re not lacking anything, really. You’re handsome, you get good grades, you have a good personality, and your family seems well-off. But I’m just not interested in a high school romance."

At her praise, Xi Zirong’s expression visibly softened. But when he heard her last sentence, he stiffened for a moment before asking, "So you’re not interested in a high school romance, but you’re interested in a guy who’s so much older than you?"

’If Zhou Mochen heard that, he’d lose his mind.’

’He’s not *that* much older,’ Xu Su retorted inwardly, but she kept the thought to herself.

She said, "I’m not interested in anyone. My only goal right now is to study hard and get the scholarship each semester. I’m really not thinking about anything else."

"Mm, I know you love studying," Xi Zirong replied softly.

Xu Su thought the topic was closed, but then he asked, "If you’re not interested in him, then why did you accept the phone he gave you?"

Xi Zirong’s gaze shifted to the pocket of Xu Su’s school uniform.

Xu Su would bring her phone to class, keeping it in her uniform pocket to use as a watch. He had clearly noticed it a few times.

It was a very direct question. Xu Su had no way to explain why someone who claimed to only care about studying would accept such an expensive gift.

’Was she supposed to tell him she was taming a wild animal, alternating between tightening and loosening the leash?’

After a long moment, Xu Su still couldn’t come up with a plausible reason. She became flustered and angry. "Why are you sticking your nose in so much? I’m not your girlfriend, so why are you interrogating me like a criminal?"

Little did Xu Su know that her behavior at this moment perfectly mirrored the classic ’scumbag’ excuses that would be endlessly called out online more than a decade in the future.

But Xi Zirong didn’t get angry. He lowered his head, his tone gentle and coaxing. "Xu Su, if this isn’t what you want... can I assume he’s forcing you?"

His eyes were locked on her face, as if he were trying to read her micro-expressions.

After a brief pause, Xu Su quickly retorted, "Have you been watching too many dramas? How could you come up with such a ridiculous theory like me being forced?"

’In my past life, you could say Zhou Mochen took advantage of my dire situation.’

’But in this life... at least so far, he hasn’t forced me to do anything.’

’Threats, at most?’

’And they were just threats from a paper tiger. The moment she said something soft, he’d back down completely.’

’Honestly, all of her closest relatives combined didn’t have as much patience with her as Zhou Mochen did.’

’Yesterday, he was obviously furious, and her words had been truly hurtful.’

’She’d even asked Zhou Mochen if he had any self-respect.’

’Yet he still texted her last night as if nothing had happened.’

With his theory shot down, Xi Zirong pressed his lips together. "Then give the phone back to him. I’ll buy you a new one."

Xu Su looked up, shocked, and saw his completely serious expression.

’...What is this mess?!’

Xu Su said with strained patience, "This phone works perfectly fine, and I have no intention of returning it. Besides, what’s the difference between me using a phone from you and a phone from him?"

"There is a difference," Xi Zirong insisted, his expression still serious. "He gives you things with ulterior motives and bad intentions. When I’m good to you..."

"Are you trying to tell me you’re being nice to me out of charity?" Xu Su cut him off, retorting, "You don’t have ulterior motives?"

Whatever thought crossed his mind, the boy’s face began to flush red.

Xu Su hadn’t seen him blush in a long time, and for a moment she watched him, intrigued.

Xi Zirong reached out and covered her eyes. "Don’t look at me."

!!! ’This scene feels so familiar!’

’A memory I thought was dead and buried is suddenly attacking me.’

Xu Su pulled his hand away, saying in a fluster, "Xi Zirong, if you’re going to talk, then just talk! What are you doing?"

Xi Zirong simply reversed his grip and held her hand. His face was still flushed, the color especially noticeable against his fair skin. They made eye contact for less than a second before he looked away. "I really don’t have any ulterior motives right now."

"..."

’If it weren’t for the tips of your ears being bright red, I might have actually believed you.’

Xu Su tried to pull her hand back, but he held it fast.

’...How can he be blushing like that and still not let go?’

"Xi Zirong, let go of my hand!"

The boy turned his head back to her and asked softly, "Will you give the phone back to him? Please?"

"No," Xu Su refused flatly.

’Are you kidding? If I returned the phone, Zhou Mochen would probably show up at school and start staking the place out.’

They stood in a stalemate for a moment. Xu Su pulled out her phone to check the time. The lunch break was long, so there was still a while before class started, but she was starting to need the restroom and was growing increasingly impatient.

Xi Zirong relented slightly. "Then will you accept a gift from me, too?"

Xu Su refused again. "No."

She was like a warrior with a heart of stone. "Xi Zirong, don’t like me. It won’t lead to anything, really. Even if I were to get into a relationship, it would only be with him, and only after graduation. Do you understand?"

The question circled right back to where they started.

With something like a sob in his voice, Xi Zirong asked, "Where do I fall short?"