Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 218: "Is It Just Guilt?

She asked, would she ever be able to forget him in this lifetime?

Zhou Mochen’s expression turned harsh, and his tone grew cold. "Are you threatening me?"

"I’m not threatening you, I’m just stating a fact." Xu Su wasn’t the least bit intimidated by his demeanor and met his gaze frankly. "It was wrong of me to hide the fact that I was dating Xi Zirong, but that’s no reason for you to go after him."

Zhou Mochen watched her quietly for a long time, then slowly smiled. "Xu Su, perhaps you don’t know me very well. I’ve never needed a reason to do anything."

There was still a smile on his face, but his entire being radiated a vicious aura.

His words made Xu Su’s heart pound with panic. Seeing him turn to leave after speaking, she scrambled off the bed and grabbed him. "Calm down and think about it, Zhou Mochen! Is going after Xi Zirong really worth it? I know what’s bothering you. It’s that I used to be with him, isn’t it?"

Zhou Mochen stopped when she grabbed his arm. He turned back to look at the anxious girl and spoke softly, "If I were you, I wouldn’t be acting so frantic right now."

He even managed a smile as he lectured her. "You were with him. That’s already a fact. What I care about more than that right now is just how much you care about him. Just how much does that Xi Zirong weigh in your heart, understand?"

’Of course I understand. How could I not!’

’Shen Chen had even warned me...’

’But if I don’t stop him now, there’s no telling what he’ll do to Xi Zirong.’

Xu Su took a deep breath, forcing herself to appear less anxious. "You want me to forget him, so you shouldn’t go after him. Think about it. If Xi Zirong is subjected to your revenge because of me, do you really think I could just not care at all?"

Faced with a man consumed by jealousy, she was truly at her wit’s end and could only try to reason with him patiently.

"If something happens to Xi Zirong, I’ll feel guilty for the rest of my life. I’m really not threatening you, Zhou Mochen. I’m not made of stone. How could I not feel guilty if he suffers for no reason because of me?"

"....Guilty?" Zhou Mochen seemed to be swayed, his tone softening slightly. "Is it just guilt?"

"Just guilt!" Xu Su nodded quickly. "We’ve already broken up. If nothing unexpected happens, we’ll never see each other again after the college entrance exams. Forgetting him is just a matter of time. But if something happens to him because of me, then I’ll always remember him."

Xu Su meant every word.

When she broke up with Xi Zirong, she had already decided that they would never see each other again after the college entrance exams.

’I still care about Xi Zirong, which is why it hurt to see him and Gu Yunjia looking like they were about to kiss this afternoon. But I’m confident this feeling will fade with time.’

’This feeling is just a base human instinct—the inability to immediately accept that the boy whose world once revolved around you now has another girl by his side.’

’I’ve never considered myself particularly magnanimous or selfless. I have my share of human flaws, like possessiveness.’

’I’ve never liked others touching my things. And once, in my heart, Xi Zirong belonged to me and me alone—inside and out, from head to toe.’

’That’s why I can’t accept it right away....’

’This innocent school romance might leave a deep impression for a year or two, but after three or five years, it’s bound to be lost to time.’

’In the future, when I think back on it, I probably won’t even remember the details of his face. That’s the ending a first love is supposed to have.’

’And that was the ending I had planned for my relationship with Xi Zirong.’

’Since I chose to be with Zhou Mochen, I have to let go of Xi Zirong. It’s better for everyone that way.’

"....Alright, go put your shoes on." Zhou Mochen pulled Xu Su’s hand from his arm, a slight smile playing on his lips. "You’re very good at sweet-talking people, and very good at lying. Tell me, should I believe you again?"

Xu Su also felt the floor was a bit chilly. She took a few quick steps to the side of the bed to put on her shoes, and his words gave her an instant headache.

"How about you trust me one more time?" ’I might have a prior offense,’ she thought, ’but surely my credibility isn’t shot for life.’

Xu Su tentatively held up one finger, her tone pleading. "Just once. Zhou Mochen, I promise, from now on I’ll only like you, okay?"

Zhou Mochen watched her in silence for a long moment before turning and walking out the door without a word.

Xu Su felt a sense of unease, unsure of what he meant by that.

She was afraid he would go after Xi Zirong, and also worried he would force her to transfer to a school in Beijing.

’Thinking of Xi Zirong, I wonder how badly he’s hurt...’

Her thoughts in a turmoil, Xu Su hesitated for a moment before chasing after him.

Zhou Mochen was sitting on the living room sofa, facing her. The moment Xu Su entered the room, she saw his serious expression as he spoke on the phone.

Seeing Xu Su emerge, Zhou Mochen’s expression tightened slightly. He spoke into the phone, "If there are no flights, arrange for a helicopter. I’m going back tonight."

Xu Su’s heart skipped a beat. ’Is he really in that much of a hurry?’

’He’s going to take me back to Beijing tonight?’

Zhou Mochen hung up the phone. He frowned at Xu Su, who was standing there dumbfounded. "Come here."

"..." She was already furious that he was forcing a return to Beijing tonight. Hearing his commanding tone on top of that sent Xu Su’s anger skyrocketing.

She clenched her fists, wanting nothing more than to throw caution to the wind and have a huge fight with him, but she was afraid of making things even worse.

Xu Su took a deep breath, barely suppressing her temper. She slowly walked over and sat on the sofa opposite Zhou Mochen, staring at him expressionlessly.

Knowing Xu Su as well as he did, Zhou Mochen saw her expression and knew exactly what was going through her mind.

He got up, walked over, and pulled Xu Su into his arms. He kissed her tense cheek and sighed helplessly. "I have to go back to Beijing tonight for something. Will you be scared staying here by yourself? Why don’t you come with me?"

Xu Su was a little surprised. "I just heard you say you were going back to Beijing, I thought..."

Zhou Mochen cut her off. "The school transfer isn’t urgent. We’ll talk about it after I get back from Beijing. The incident this afternoon got a little out of hand, so don’t go to school for the next few days. Want to come back to Beijing with me and hang out for a bit?"

The incident that afternoon really had been a huge deal. Both Xu Su and Xi Zirong were well-known at school, and practically everyone knew they had been dating.

With so many students watching Zhou Mochen beat Xi Zirong like that on the field this afternoon, there was no way to keep it quiet.

Xu Su didn’t have to think hard to imagine what her classmates would be saying about her.

So, maybe it was for the best not to go back to school for a few days....

’Even though I consider myself mentally tough and not easily affected by outside opinions, the thought of all the chaotic gossip and the stares from my classmates...’

’...and what my best friends, Huang Feng and Qian Jia, will think of me...’ The thought of it all inevitably made Xu Su want to run away.

’But, going back to Beijing with Zhou Mochen...’