Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 150:

’She was at fault, too. She never dared to tell Zhou Mochen that she already had a boyfriend, which was why Xi Zirong was so insecure.’

Xu Su’s heart ached for him, but she was still simmering with anger over what had just happened. After taking a couple of steps, she stopped in her tracks.

When Xi Zirong confirmed it was Xu Su, he immediately stood up. He’d been squatting for a while, and he swayed as he rose abruptly.

Once he steadied himself, he walked over in a few strides, pulled Xu Su into his arms, and began to apologize frantically. "I’m sorry, Susu, I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me, okay? I’ll never do it again." 𝓯𝙧𝙚𝒆𝙬𝙚𝒃𝙣𝙤𝒗𝓮𝓵.𝙘𝙤𝙢

Xu Su felt a drop of water land on her face. It took her half a second to realize what it was before she pushed him away. The campus lights were dimmer than the streetlights outside, making it hard to see clearly.

She reached out to touch his face and, just as she expected, felt it was wet with tears.

Xu Su felt her chest tighten, her heart aching terribly. "What are you crying for? After I left, you just squatted here crying all by yourself? Xi Zirong, can’t you have a little more backbone?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and Xi Zirong obediently lowered his head.

Then, Xu Su saw his reddened eyes looking at her, filled with grievance.

Xi Zirong forced a pained smile. "You know I’ve never had much backbone when it comes to you."

"..." Xu Su took a deep breath to soothe the ache in her heart, then released her arms from his neck, straightened up, and took a step back.

She asked softly, "Xi Zirong, is being with me that painful?"

In the quiet, dark corner by the academic building, most of the day students who should have gone home had already left. No other students would be passing by. Xu Su’s voice was very soft, but in Xi Zirong’s ears, it was loud enough to hear a pin drop.

His body went rigid, and he stood frozen for two seconds before finding his voice. "Susu, I don’t want to break up. Don’t use this as an excuse to break up with me."

Xu Su couldn’t quite follow his train of thought. ’She had only asked a question. Why did he immediately jump to breaking up?’

’Although... she did sort of mean it that way.’

Xu Su was genuinely re-evaluating her decision to be with Xi Zirong, wondering if it had been too rash.

Seeing her silent for a long moment, Xi Zirong grew even more frantic.

He reached out and pulled Xu Su back into his arms, his voice urgent. "How could being with you be painful? Xu Su, I’m not in pain. Breaking up with you would be painful. I did something wrong. You can hit me or yell at me, but don’t be so cruel to me. Don’t talk about breaking up."

Xi Zirong’s hand trembled as he caressed Xu Su’s neck. "I’m sorry. I lost control of my emotions just now and scared you. I won’t do it again. Susu, can you give me another chance, please?"

Few could hear the anxious fear in the young man’s voice and remain hard-hearted, and Xu Su was no exception.

She hesitated for a moment, but still chose to lift her arms and gently wrap them around Xi Zirong’s waist, obediently letting him hold her.

Xu Su buried her head in his chest, inhaling his unique, clean scent. Her heart softened incredibly. Her hands tightened slightly, and she subconsciously wrapped her arms further around to measure his waist.

She patted Xi Zirong’s back and soothed him softly, "We’re not breaking up. I never said I wanted to break up. Xi Zirong, I’m just afraid you’re feeling wronged in our relationship."

"I have a bad temper and not much patience. I don’t like being constrained by you all the time, and I don’t like having to report everything to you and explain myself."

Xu Su reflected on her own faults, feeling more and more like an incompetent girlfriend the more she spoke. She sighed. "Xi Zirong, I was also at fault for what happened tonight, but you really can’t act like that again."

’He was Xi Zirong, after all—that gentle and polite young man. Xu Su had always seen him through a special filter.’

"Your temper is great, Susu. Your personality is already really good." Xi Zirong nuzzled the top of her head. "It’s me. I’m too insecure, too petty, and not confident enough. It’s my problem."

"I don’t feel wronged at all, Susu. You like me, I know you do. I’m just too greedy."

After they got together, he had become increasingly greedy. He wanted her eyes only on him, wanted more of her affection, and didn’t want anyone else to get close to her.

That ever-growing possessiveness sometimes scared even Xi Zirong himself.

They hugged in silence for a long time. It wasn’t until a few day students heading home late passed by intermittently that Xu Su gently pushed Xi Zirong away. ’The corner of the academic building really wasn’t a good place to talk.’

The two of them walked side-by-side toward the dorms. Along the way, Xu Su would glance at the young man beside her from time to time.

Xi Zirong walked in silence, his quiet demeanor laced with a hint of caution. Several times, he reached out as if to take her hand, but seemed afraid to follow through.

"..." Xu Su took the initiative and reached for his hand. The next second, Xi Zirong firmly grasped it back.

They walked all the way to the entrance of the girls’ dorm before Xi Zirong slowly let go of her hand. He smiled at her and said softly, "Go on in."

Xu Su didn’t let go. The lights at the base of the dorm building were brighter, and she could now clearly see that his eyes were swollen. She had no idea how long he had been crying.

She sighed again. "...If I go in just like this, I’m afraid you’ll cry your pillow wet tonight."

Xu Su glanced around, then led him by the hand to a pavilion not far from the dorm. They had come here before because of the incident with Wu Qianqian.

"Xi Zirong, lower your head a little." Standing behind a pillar, Xu Su called out to the young man who was standing ramrod straight.

Xi Zirong paused, then obediently bent over and lowered his head.

He had just leaned in a little when Xu Su reached out, hooked her arm around his neck, and gently pressed her lips against his.

Even though Xu Su was thirty on the inside, her kissing skills were practically zero. After all, between her and Zhou Mochen, she had always been the passive one.

’Kissing Zhou Mochen proactively?’

’Never!’

So, she could only rely on her experience of being kissed, slowly pressing closer to Xi Zirong.

Stunned for less than a second, Xi Zirong came to his senses. His breathing quickened, and he immediately cupped Xu Su’s face with both hands and began to kiss her back eagerly.

Neither of them had much experience; they were both fumbling their way through it. They didn’t part until they were both breathless.

Xi Zirong held her in his arms and looked down at her, his gaze so fiery it could melt a person. Xu Su couldn’t help but turn her face away to avoid it, but in his embrace, there was nowhere to hide.

Xu Su grew flustered and annoyed from his stare. "Xi Zirong, don’t look at me like that."

"...Okay." Xi Zirong good-naturedly averted his gaze, but his hands holding the girl’s waist didn’t loosen their grip. He asked, "Susu, you’ve really forgiven me, right?"

The young man’s voice was light and cheerful, no longer holding the tension and panic from before.

Xu Su said irritably, "You’ve already turned into a little crybaby. Who could bear to stay mad at you? Xi Zirong, don’t hide away and cry by yourself next time."

’Who wouldn’t feel their heart ache seeing a young man with a face full of tears?’

’Besides, she was the one who caused it.’

He hadn’t felt it before, but now he was finally starting to feel a little embarrassed. Xi Zirong pressed his face into the crook of Xu Su’s neck and said pitifully, "You were so heartless when you left just now, Susu. I didn’t want to cry either, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to go find you, but I was afraid of making you even angrier."