Kitanna-Chapter 240: UNDER THE MORNING DEW

[MUSIC RECOMMENDATION: SNOWMAN ~ SIA] 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

Before dawn broke at the merchant’s inn, Axilla was already awake. She slipped out of bed quietly and ran out of the room. She wasn’t able to forget what had happened with Cortez last night; his lips on her chest and where his hands moved while he fed her juice. The moment flashed in her mind, causing blood to rush up to her neck, painting her cheeks red with blush.

"Why did I stop him?" Axilla asked herself as she made her way to her own room. She was enjoying everything, but when she felt Cortez try to dip his fingers, she became scared. Axilla bit her lips and prayed Cortez wouldn’t hate her for that.

She was almost at her room when she noticed someone sitting outside. Axilla wondered who it was that was sitting all alone so early in the morning. When she got closer to the person, she saw the stick and a bird. It was Lady Hash.

"Lady Hash, good morning." Axilla’s greeting startled falcon; the bird flew away from there.

Lady Hash turned gently, with a small smile on her lips. "Axilla? You’re up early," the woman remarked.

Axilla nodded, going around to sit beside the woman. "I guess I couldn’t sleep much. What about you? The morning is so cold. Why are you out here alone without a bigger shawl to cover you?" the young girl asked worriedly.

Lady Hash touched her skin and sighed, "This old woman doesn’t care about the cold anymore. I’ve lived through the harshest weathers; nothing scares me anymore."

Axilla pressed her lips, going to the rope where some clothes were hung out. She picked out a dry shawl and used it to cover the woman. "That’s not true. When you get older, your body is no longer as it used to be. You should be watchful of your health," Axilla said as she carefully covered the woman properly with the shawl.

"You’re such a sweet girl. Thank you, Axilla," the woman replied gratefully. For a moment, she wished to have a child like Axilla. Then she remembered that she had also abandoned her own child in the past, just like Axilla’s parents left her. Lady Hash sighed sadly at the thought and hoped to be forgiven for her sins.

Axilla finally settled down on the space close to Lady Hash. "You don’t look happy. Is everything okay with you?"

Lady Hash rubbed her temples, looking forward as if her mind was wandering to a distant land. "I don’t know. For some reason, I feel very uneasy. Like something bad is about to happen, and it’ll be my fault," the woman answered, sighing deeply when she was done talking.

Axilla brought forward her leg, with her face looking up at the sky. She sighed, "I feel the same way too," she muttered, turning to Lady Hash. "What makes you uneasy? You’re the toughest woman I’ve seen after Queen Kitanna."

The older woman finally chuckled. "Tough? Like a nut?" she remarked, laughing, with the corners of her eyes crinkling.

"Let’s say, I’m uneasy because I feel a monster from my past is coming to hunt me down. You see, I had every opportunity to kill this monster, but I got scared. Now he’s coming for me," the woman spoke with parables, her voice sounding distant.

Axilla furrowed her brow, "I think the monster should be afraid of you."

Lady Hash turned, with her brow raised. "Why do you say so?" she asked.

"You’re Lady Hash; you’re unstoppable. You’ve survived bandits even with your sight gone. You’re like the monster lord," the girl praised.

Lady Hash smiled, this time her back finally relaxed. It felt good to hear such a comment. "Thank you so much, Axilla. You’re the best daughter anyone could ever ask for. Your family would be so proud of you," the woman blurted out.

Axilla nodded, "Thank you so much. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, why not," Lady Hash said immediately.

Axilla stalled for some time before saying, "Your relationship with Cortez is so defined, akin to mother and child. Is it because he grew up around you, or is it something else?" She wanted to know more about Cortez.

Lady Hash cleared her throat; she wanted to tell Axilla everything, but then Cortez wanted to do it himself. "Well, not having a child of my own made me draw closer to him. You know, like Labre and Larel," the woman answered.

Axilla nodded, "I’m sure if you had a child, they would be so proud to have you as a mother. Sometimes I, myself, wish to have you as my mother," the girl revealed with a small laugh.

Lady Hash pressed her lips. If only Axilla knew how she had abandoned her own child in the past, she wouldn’t say this. Guilt ate at the woman’s heart; she squeezed her gown tightly. "I hope I’m the mother my child would be proud of," the woman sighed.

As they sat in silence without saying anything else, Lady Hash said, "Axilla, can you tell me what the sky looks like today?"

Axilla raised her face to look at the sky, "Mm...the moon is still out but is fading gradually. The sky is a bit dark, and everywhere is covered with dew. The sky looks sleepy and happy. Imagine chrysanthemum floating in dark water calmly. It’s a beautiful sight," she explained.

Lady Hash raised her face to the sky, "I can imagine it now. I wish to see the sky again someday..." Her voice trailed, and then she said to Axilla, "You also said you were feeling uneasy. Let me know if I can help," the woman offered.

Axilla bit her lips, feeling a little embarrassed about the topic. "Promise me you won’t tell anyone. Let it be our secret, please," she begged, and Lady Hash nodded.

The young girl started, "Last night, I was with Cortez. So we...." She narrated to the woman everything that happened.

Lady Hash furrowed her brow, "Why did you move? Was it not pleasing, the feeling you got?" she asked.

Axilla shook her head, "It was wonderful; I can still imagine it. But I panicked. Do you think he will hate me for it and decide not to ever come close to me again?" she said, her voice getting sad.

Lady Hash chuckled, "You’re so innocent. It’s okay to panic; it’s your first time. But if you trust Cortez, then that shouldn’t be a problem. All you have to do is let him in. Cortez wouldn’t leave you for a reason as insignificant as that; he already knows you’re new to it. So he will give you time to ease in. Next time when he is touching you there, try to grab something, maybe his face, or chest, and trust him. It’s a feeling you won’t ever regret, especially doing it with someone who loves you as much as you love him. Even more," the woman advised.

Axilla hugged the woman, "Thank you so much, Mama."

Her words startled the older woman, whose heart skipped a bit. She had never heard someone call her mother before; it felt comforting.

Axilla moved away after the hug, "Thank you; I was scared I would look stupid, and maybe you will laugh at me," she revealed.

Lady Hash shook her head, "It’s okay to ask me questions about such things. If your mother were here, she would give you the same advice." When she said those words and remembered that Axilla had no mother, she coughed slightly.

"I’ll make good use of your advice. Thank you," Axilla said, holding her gown tightly. She had never thought about having a mother, but now she wanted one. It felt good to have someone you could tell everything to. She looked at Lady Hash discreetly and wished she could also sit with her mother like this.