King of Hollywood-Chapter 560 - 281: Good Results

Certainly, very eye-catching. These quips encompassed a lot, from hero movies to the defining roles of various actors.

For example, Willis’s character was set up as a movie enthusiast who relaxes by watching movies after every mission, so he loved to talk about movies. In the opening mission, Schwarzenegger, Willis, and Seagal were set to retire afterward, leading Schwarzenegger to complain, "Guys, watch out, this time I’m retiring."

Then, Willis jumped up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, "Damn it, don’t say that!"

He seriously told them, "In movies, if someone says that to you, it means they’ll never get to retire!"

Throughout the movie, Willis never stopped explaining to his companions the illogical things in films, such as never running out of bullets and a blanket that can cover a woman’s chest but only reaches a man’s waist, babbling endlessly. This was a far cry from his usual stoic tough-guy image, and he was usually not very talkative, but these last few years he had been trying to change his image, playing in many thrillers, dramas, and dark comedies. So, this change didn’t seem inappropriate but rather added a nice comedic effect.

Then, influenced by him, the others also occasionally quipped, and in a later scene, The Expendables took on a mission to eliminate terrorists who had taken over a small island, and Stallone’s daughter was also stranded there. Stallone sought help from the recently retired Schwarzenegger and others, and after they stormed in and clashed fiercely with the enemy, Schwarzenegger accidentally got injured.

"It’s illogical. Normally, in movies, a person like me wouldn’t get injured!" he complained while Willis was bandaging him.

"It’s simple. You’re not the main character," Stallone, who was covering them, promptly said, then, the next second, he also got shot.

"Clearly, neither are you," Schwarzenegger immediately quipped humorously, causing the audience there to burst out laughing.

Such segments were everywhere. After the mission at the start, The Expendables’ members gathered to celebrate and send off Schwarzenegger and others to retire, with Seagal personally cooking to serve everyone.

"I can finally fulfill my long-time dream of being a chef," he lamented, clearly alluding to his image in "Rising Dragon."

Then the others also talked about their future lives.

"What do you think about me running for president?" Schwarzenegger asked everyone.

"No way, you haven’t been an immigrant long enough," someone objected.

"Then... I’ll run for governor," he immediately amended.

If you need a few years to get the humor in that, the following ones will be instantly clear to anyone who has watched action movies before.

"Actually, I’d like to be a cop," Willis said when discussing this, "because then I can more justifiably throw riffraff off tall buildings."

"I want to box, have a match with the world champion. I don’t need to beat him, just hang in there for 15 rounds," was Stallone’s response.

Then someone nearby jokingly said, "Quit kidding around. If you guys fought, you’d kill him."

One can imagine how big a "laugh" that would be, especially in the eyes of action movie fans. Not just Stallone and the others—if anyone had work out, they didn’t escape such ribbing.

"No, thank you, I just need this," responded the taciturn Ray, raising his glass of milk to decline the beer offered to him. Then someone chuckled and asked, "Hey, buddy, I heard French people like little girls, do you too?"

Or when Lundgren was assigned to go undercover, only Stallone knew about it. However, later in the plot, Jean-Claude Van Damme, while confronting him and several terrorists, did not hesitate to shoot the person next to him, and Lundgren didn’t hesitate to help him take down the other terrorists.

"I thought I had to incapacitate you first," Lundgren said afterward.

"We’re the best partners, I never believed you would betray me," Van Damme replied.

This joke might not be so straightforward, but any action movie fan would definitely remember the ’92 film Universal Soldier and find the comparison quite amusing. Although the excuse for making Lundgren go undercover was not that brilliant, it was still much better than the clichéd scene in the original where a fight makes him suddenly repent. Even though the movie is all about muscles, action, and gun battles, it still needed a basic logical storyline.

There were plenty of other humorous moments too. Diesel and Jet Li were another pair of partners, with Jet always rushing to the front, covering for Diesel. In one scene, after Jet throws a knife to kill a guy trying to sneak up on Diesel, he nods toward him and says, "You owe me one."

But Diesel immediately shot the guy behind him in the head and shrugged, "Now we’re even."

Jet was immediately frustrated, his character similar to the original— a man of few words and expressions, constantly repeating lines like "I need a raise" and "I need to support my family." And he even made a deal with Diesel that every time he saved him, he got a tenth of his salary, leading to that particular scene.

Another comedic segment featured Seagal fighting someone into a kitchen and then finishing them off with a carrot, coolly delivering lines like "No one knows the kitchen better than me" and "The deadliest weapon isn’t the knife." These kinds of jokes occurred every few minutes, constantly keeping the audience in stitches.

Of course, there had to be poignant moments too, like when Jet Li called his mother, lying to her that he was working minimally at a company and doing alright, so she needn’t worry about him. His usually stern face rarely showed a smile, then he received comforting words from the clearly loyal Diesel. Or when Stallone struggled to care for his daughter, always ending up in arguments with her, which led to her running away and falling into danger.

Scarlett performed really well, achieving a brilliant effect that was very fitting for her role. In a sense, she was typecast, as this kind of fatherless character suited her perfectly, and Adrian had specially adjusted the script for her.

Eventually, Stallone rescued his daughter and led The Expendables to successfully complete the mission. Schwarzenegger and others finally retired. In the end, realizing his daughter was not safe with him, he sent her back to his ex-wife. The scene of them hugging goodbye in the glow of the sunset was very heartwarming. Tightly edited, full of explosive action, a never-ending supply of humorous moments, and just the right amount of emotional appeal, plus the involvement of numerous action stars, the first three days of The Expendables premiere in North America grossed over $75 million.

Adrian felt slightly disappointed, having thought that with the undiminished drawing power of the Three Giants, this well-crafted and heavily marketed film might have been the first to break $100 million in its opening weekend, a feat not even Titanic achieved—The closest was The Lost World with $90 million in three days.

But the results were still quite impressive. Even if the following week’s drop exceeded 50% and potentially led to a box office loss, it would make up for it on DVD and video sales. After all, it was the first film that deviated more than 80% from the original and achieved such success; it’s well known that those who succeed by chance often undergo unforeseen changes.

The most telling example was last year’s World Cup. Due to Ronaldo’s poor performance and Brazil’s foolish display, anyone from that era knew what kind of match it was, leaving Adrian wondering whether to make a small bet for fun. However, he later forgot about it amidst other matters, and by the time he remembered, the World Cup had already ended.

But when he reviewed the results of this World Cup final, he was so shocked he almost dropped his jaw. Even though it was still Brazil against France, Brazil scored first, with France only equalizing just before the first half ended. But once the second half began, Brazil quickly scored another goal, seriously demoralizing the French team. Despite frequently threatening Brazil’s goal after that, they couldn’t level the score.

The match maintained this score until everyone thought Brazil would lift the Cup again when the French team, led by Zidane during injury time, scored two consecutive goals, turning the 3-2 scoreline to kick Brazil from Heaven into Hell! Adrian shook his head after learning about it, thinking that if such a plot happened in a pre-rebirth web novel, the writer would be cursed to death by fans. Luckily, he hadn’t made that casual bet.

So, with The Expendables earning $75 million over the weekend, even if it didn’t break records or might experience a significant drop later, so what? It wasn’t something to worry too much about.

As for media reviews of the film, there’s no need to go into detail. A commercial action movie through and through, does it really need to explore deep meanings? As for the excitement level, anyone who watched it seriously would acknowledge that the quality of the movie was below standard, and those who opposed just for the sake of opposing could be ignored.

Therefore, Adrian quickly turned his attention to other matters; his time was tight. Aside from personal life where he needed to visit his girlfriend and care for two expectant mothers, there wasn’t much on his work plate, with the most significant being Britney and Christina’s new albums. Both of their albums sold very well, and they each held small-scale concert tours within the United States, naturally leading to the preparations for their new albums.

However, Adrian had other things to consider. Vampire Hunter Buffy had been broadcasted since the second half of ’94, and by this May, it had aired five seasons with an average of 25 episodes per season, so by the time the last episode of the fifth season aired in May, the show would have reached 100 episodes. Adrian wanted to release "far away from home" during this period as a celebration. (To be continued. If you like this work, please visit qidian.com to vote for it and support the author. Your support is my greatest motivation.)

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