Journey to the West: Starting by taking Sun Wukong as my disciple!-Chapter 379: Battling Immortals with Words
His companion’s eyes slowly widened, incredulous as he looked at the Buddhist disciple, "Are you insane?!"
The Buddhist disciple quickly shushed him and motioned for him to be quiet.
The companion lowered his voice, "Do you realize that what you’re doing is breaking your vows? You could be expelled from Buddhism for this!"
"I don’t plan on eating it; I just want to smell it again. Are you coming or not?"
After a moment of thought, the companion’s eyes gradually hardened with resolution, "I’m in!"
"Chef Wukong, did you gather us here just to tell us the name of a dish?"
The Immortal Officials, having just attended the Buddhist feast, were supposed to return to their posts. However, no sooner had they returned to their quarters and taken a short rest, than Sun Wukong called them back.
"Yeah, Chef Wukong, since you’re going to tell us the name of this dish, you could’ve just told us verbally. Why bother calling us here? Who’s responsible if this delays our work?"
"Hey, why can’t you guys see the obvious? If Chef Wukong summoned you, he must have his reasons. It’s not something you can just guess."
There were also some Immortal Officials who didn’t want to work at all and wanted to join in on the liveliness. Afraid that they would be left without company, they quickly echoed Sun Wukong’s words.
Sun Wukong couldn’t be bothered to deal with them. Only after everyone had gathered did he speak up, "Here’s the thing: I’m someone who sees things through. Since none of you guessed the name of the dish, that means you’re all fools. But no worries, I, Old Sun, will demonstrate it for you right here."
"Demonstrate what?" The Immortal Official picked up on Sun Wukong’s train of thought. "If you’re going to say it, just say it. Why do you have to call us fools? It’s as if, in your mouth, we are completely useless."
Sun Wukong was annoyed with this Immortal Official who always had it in for the others and sneered at him.
"You understand nothing! Where’s your intelligence? Aren’t you just someone who gained your status through brute strength? I think your brain didn’t grow at all, it’s all just flesh. You can’t even guess a dish’s name and you still have the gall to argue with me? Who do you think you are?"
This Immortal Official was indeed known for his strength before he gained his position, so Sun Wukong wasn’t entirely wrong. Indeed, apart from his strength, he was hardly helpful in other matters, especially within the Heavenly Court.
This isn’t the mortal world; every Immortal Official possesses mana. They hardly ever need to use brute strength. If something requiring strength arises, a Hand Seal and spell will do. Therefore, apart from his official duties, this Immortal Official couldn’t really contribute much.
Fortunately, the heavenly customs were quite open, and no one would look down on him for that alone. This was also why, despite his position being somewhat ceremonial, he was still able to have a say.
The Immortal Official said grievously, "That’s a thorn in my heart. Other Immortals wouldn’t intentionally mention it in front of me. Why did you, Chef Wukong, pluck it out immediately? Should I ask you for compensation for emotional distress?"
"Compensation my ass!" Sun Wukong swore. "Others don’t insult you because they couldn’t care less to. What do you think you are? In their eyes, you’re not even worth being called a fool."
"Ah?" That Immortal Official had never encountered someone who cursed him so thoroughly and was utterly dumbfounded by the scolding.
Sun Wukong, too, didn’t cease his tirade. Even though everything was going according to his plan, some of the troublemakers were really too much. If he didn’t berate them, he wouldn’t feel right.
"Do you think they avoid bringing up your sore spot on purpose? They actually couldn’t care less about you. They’re polite and you really think you amount to something? What are you worth? Look at yourself: no brains, no semblance of wit, just relying on your arms that seem pumped with air to get things done?"
Although the Immortal Officials knew Sun Wukong was extremely powerful, they didn’t expect him to be so good at insults. Internally they were relieved, thankful that Sun Wukong’s tirade wasn’t aimed at them.
"You were mocking others earlier, the God of Cookery might have fallen short with their cooking a bit, but they’re still in charge of the flavors of mortal cuisine, and you? What have you accomplished?"
"I, I..." the Immortal Official stammered.
"You’re embarrassed to say it yourself, right? Let me say it for you. Look at your divine duties and your abilities. Do they even relate? What are you in charge of? How big a rock is? How large it grows, it’s laughable to even mention it. It’s good that you’re only in charge of a rock; if you were responsible for anything else, I wouldn’t hesitate to speak out against you."
The God of Cookery looked at Sun Wukong with a moved expression, not expecting, oh not expecting, that the frustration they’d been holding in all evening would suddenly clear away.
It was a relief that although they were a little silly, they hadn’t been silly enough to always argue with Sun Wukong. It seemed that from now on, they not only needed to learn from Sun Wukong’s cooking but also his way of speaking. With Sun Wukong’s sharp tongue, they wouldn’t worry about not being able to outscold anyone in the future.
After berating for a while, Sun Wukong finally grew tired of scolding and spat viciously at the Immortal Official.
"Anyway, I don’t care about one like you. I’ll remember you. Don’t you even dream of tasting a bite of my cooking in the future. If you take one bite, I’ll kick you once. Get lost, get lost, don’t let me see you, it’s annoying!"
With those words, even if the Immortal Official wanted to stay, they no longer had the face to remain there. But in the future, it would probably be more than just missing out on Sun Wukong’s food that was simple.
Although the Immortal Officials appeared to get along on the surface, they actually spread all sorts of gossip privately, and it would have been manageable if it was just any gossip.
But offending Sun Wukong was a major issue, and now it was unlikely that any Immortal Official dared to openly associate with him.
Associating with him would imply publicly slapping Sun Wukong’s face. The Immortal Official’s forehead was streaming with cold sweat, agonizing over what to do, being neither able to leave nor stay.
Sun Wukong glowered at the Immortal Official, "Hey, are you purposely opposing me? I’ve told you to get lost, why haven’t you left?"
"Alright, alright, I’m going right now. Please don’t be angry, Chef Wukong." After much thought, the Immortal Official decided to leave for now and apologize to Sun Wukong later. Considering Sun Wukong’s current temper, apologizing now wouldn’t end well anyway.
A wise person adapts to circumstances. It was best to leave for the moment.
The Immortal Official bowed to Sun Wukong, "Chef Wukong, this minor official will take their leave first. I will come to visit in person later on and apologize to you, Chef Wukong."
"Scram already!" Sun Wukong, feeling much better after cursing the official, gestured for him to leave. "Watch your mouth next time."
That Immortal Official, dripping with sweat, missed the pleasure in Sun Wukong’s tone and urgently replied, "Yes, yes, this official takes their leave!"
After the Immortal Official left, Sun Wukong looked at the remaining Immortal Officials, "What? Besides that official, I thought I heard several echoing voices earlier. Whoever it was, step forward and leave with him."
If they really left now, there might never be a chance to come back. The Immortal Officials hurriedly shook their heads.
"Look what you’re saying, Chef Wukong. We all really enjoy the dishes you make. You’ve cooked so much for us already. Now you’re just asking us to step out, what’s so difficult about that?"
"Yeah, yeah."
One Immortal Official finished their flattering remarks, and the rest of them quickly echoed the previous official’s words.
