I'm a Villainess, Can I Die?-Chapter 103

A complete night, at a time when everyone was fast asleep.

I stood by my bedroom window, quietly soaking in the stillness of the night.

Honestly, I hadn’t planned on feeling anything like "stillness" at this hour.

On a normal day, I would’ve just thrown myself into bed and knocked out. But tonight, I couldn’t do that.

I’d overeaten at dinner, and my stomach felt so bloated that lying down was out of the question. And I can’t fall asleep unless I’m lying down. It was already a lost cause from there. I mean, I’m not a horse—I can’t sleep standing up.

The reason I’d overeaten was this:

After taking a walk with Aiden and his teacher earlier, I came back to my room.

Then Jane rushed up to me, looking alarmed, asking where I’d gone.

Turned out, today was the day I was supposed to have dinner with the family.

I’d completely forgotten because I was distracted by the mage. I was over thirty minutes late by the time I hurried down to the dining room.

The entire family had been waiting for me without eating. And despite that, not a single one of them said a word of complaint.

They just smiled and said, “Welcome.”

That made me feel both guilty and thankful, so I stupidly tried to look like a good daughter by stuffing food down my throat all the way to my uvula—and ended up with serious indigestion.

I shouldn’t have done something so idiotic.

My stomach was killing me. I’d already taken the medicine Jane gave me, but it hadn’t helped at all.

With this lump of food sitting like a rock in my chest, it felt obvious that I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. After reaching that conclusion while just standing around, I gave up and sat right where I was.

Not like I’d get much sleep even if I went to bed early. I’d just end up waking in a cold sweat at dawn anyway.

Still, tonight’s a half-moon. The bright full moon had slowly shrunk to a crescent. By the time the subjugation campaign begins, it’ll probably be a thin sliver of a new moon.

I drew my knees up to my chest and buried my face between them.

Ah, if only I could close my eyes and open them to find that time had just flown by.

So that, in the end, the subjugation campaign would pass without incident, and I’d get to enjoy a peaceful, quiet stretch of time... and then, quietly close my eyes for good.

Enough. I need to stop thinking about that.

Right now, what matters is sorting through what I learned today. I pushed away the pointless thoughts and began to replay the day’s conversation, step by step.

My fingers absently fiddled with the necklace I’d been gifted earlier by Sir Allogen.

“Magic that makes memories clearer or brings the answer to a mystery to mind? Hmm... there’s no such thing. Touching memories or mental faculties at all is taboo among mages.”

That was Sir Allogen’s answer when I asked him about magic that could help sharpen memories or reveal truths.

“But,” he added, “there are some magical tools that come kind of close. Honestly... they’re more like superstitious trinkets or children’s toys than real artifacts. But self-suggestion is a powerful thing, after all.”

Then he started rummaging through his robes.

I couldn’t help wondering, just how much stuff did he keep in there that he always had to dig around like that whenever he wanted to take something out?

As I was lost in that thought, he finally pulled something out.

“Here it is. This necklace is said to improve memory. Of course, that’s just what people say. But if you don’t mind that, I’d like to give it to you.”

I nodded and thanked him aloud. He gave a crooked grin and held out his hand, passing me the necklace.

“And this as well,” he said.

This time, he held out a ring sized for a pinky. A thin silver band set with a small green gem.

“What is this?”

“Use it when you’re in danger. Aiden will come running.”

“Huh? Me?”

Aiden looked completely caught off guard, eyes wide as he turned toward Sir Allogen in confusion.

Sir Allogen simply nodded, stroking his beard with a booming laugh.

“Yeah! You! Why? Wouldn’t you come running if the lady called for you?”

Aiden’s gaze met mine.

There was no hesitation in his green eyes. Whatever surprise he’d shown vanished almost instantly.

“Of course I would.”

Recalling that moment, I glanced down at the ring now sitting on my fourth finger.

In the end, I hadn’t gotten the result I wanted today. There was no magic related to memory.

But I wasn’t disappointed. Just attending that meeting had revealed a lot I didn’t know before.

A hidden mastermind. Black magic. A red orb.

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As those clues start to piece together, the endless array of possibilities will narrow.

Among those clues, the most significant one that came to light today was this:

“There’s someone behind the monsters.”

A person, hiding behind the monster incidents. I never would’ve guessed. Then again, how could I have, when I didn’t even understand how these incidents were unfolding?

I thought of the red orb Sir Allogen had held up earlier.

That thing shimmered with a strange glow. Just remembering it crumbling in the mage’s hand gave me goosebumps.

It was probably the medium used to control the monsters.

And yet, no one else had reacted with surprise when it was revealed. Maybe I managed to keep a straight face, but internally, I’d been shocked. Judging by everyone else's reactions, they already knew about the orb.

In a situation where I was the only one in the dark, how was I supposed to even begin suspecting there was someone pulling the strings?

Anyway, moving on.

Let’s focus on figuring out who that someone behind the monsters really is.

In the original novel, nothing major happened during this time. At most, Selina the villainess would have a few childish meltdowns.

Which means there was no reason for the mastermind to stir up trouble during this period.

But because of me, something had changed, and they were now forced to act.

So then, that mastermind... might be someone who’s at least somewhat connected to me?

The things I’ve changed are small—trivial, even. No matter how I look at it, there’s nothing I’ve done that could’ve influenced the entire empire.

Even the farthest I’ve traveled was the capital. And that was after the incidents had already begun.

So if these minor changes still managed to affect someone, that person must be... connected to me somehow.

Whether directly or indirectly.

It felt like I was finally getting a little closer to the answer.

If only everything could be resolved before that crescent moon appeared in full. I buried my face in my knees once again.

—

“For the brave warriors of the subjugation campaign!”

“For the warriors!”

Clink!

How many toasts had this been already? Not that I was really toasting—just lightly raising my glass.

I looked at the drink shimmering inside the glass, then shook my head and set it down. I was already feeling buzzed.

If I drank any more, I’d probably end up crawling on all fours. That wouldn’t do.

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I set my glass down and looked around. Everyone’s faces were lit with bright smiles.

Not exactly the expressions you'd expect from people set to deploy in two days.

That evening, a small party was being held in the ducal banquet hall. More like a team dinner than an actual party.

They said it was meant to boost morale before the deployment. And it was working well. The festive atmosphere and nonstop laughter were proof enough.

Familiar faces mingled among the smiling crowd.

Lukas and my brother, chatting warmly with the people around them. My father, speaking with calm eyes and a gentle smile. My mother, laughing softly at his side.

The mages I’d spoken with last week, and Aiden among them, looking awkward and out of place. Ian, beside the doctor, his expression stony as he talked with new faces.

Familiar faces. People I care about. But are those smiles real, or just masks they’ve painted on?

My stomach burned. It stung so badly I could barely stay standing. The tightness in my chest made it hard to even look at the others.

Quietly, I began to walk away.

My legs wobbled slightly, but not enough to draw attention.

I ended up at the balcony of the banquet hall. A place they’d set up for people to take a breather.

One step, then another—cold, fresh air hit my skin as I stepped out.

Ah, finally. I leaned against the railing, letting out a hot breath.

The alcohol had gone straight to my head.

Not that I’ve ever had such delicious wine before. It was so sweet, I couldn’t stop myself from downing it.

And everyone else was so cheerfully clinking glasses—clink, clink, clink—I couldn’t just sit there doing nothing.

Damn it. They forgot to draw the curtain on the balcony. How’s anyone supposed to know someone’s out here?

As the cold air hit me, the alcohol surged through my system.

My head was spinning, a mess of scrambled thoughts.

Dragging my heavy body, I staggered a few steps and pulled the curtain shut.

Once the glimmering lights inside were blocked out, I felt oddly satisfied.

I went back to the spot I’d been before and plopped down. Twisting my body, I looked out over the scenery below the balcony.

I couldn’t see much in the dark... but over there were lots of roses, and over there, plenty of trees... Ah, right. That area had tons of lilacs.

Even though I couldn’t see it clearly, I knew exactly what was where. This was my home, after all.

This place—was my home.

Ugh, my skull throbbed. Did my body sway because of that, or did it throb because I swayed?

The world’s greatest mystery, right up there with “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”

I gave up thinking altogether. Whatever I came up with now would just be useless.

The moment I let my thoughts go, I flopped onto my side.

Sprawled out on the balcony in a ridiculous pose, I kept taking deep breaths.

The more cold air I inhaled, the faster I felt the alcohol leaving my system.

Through my blurry, heat-drenched vision, I saw the faint shape of the crescent moon. God, that annoying moon. That infuriating little sliver of a moon.

“Selina.”

While I was pointlessly scowling at the moon, someone tapped the wall beside the balcony and called my name.

I didn’t bother getting up. I already knew who it was.

“Yes, come in.”

Rrrip. The curtain rustled as it was pushed aside. I squeezed my eyes shut against the sudden flood of light.

Damn it, I’m going to go blind like this.

The curtain, still fluttering, was hastily pulled closed.