I Shall Cuck Everyone-Chapter 482: Becoming A Masseur Against My Will

"What did you do this time?"

I rubbed the back of my neck.

"So... I got engaged."

Old man Duke raised an eyebrow.

"That doesn’t narrow it down. You already have more wives than most kings."

"Yeah, but this one is different."

"Oh?" he said slowly.

"She’s a dwarf princess."

The old man blinked.

"A dwarf princess."

"Yep."

"And whose daughter would that be?"

"Aurelia. The only daughter of King Monrok."

The cup in his hand froze halfway to his mouth. For a moment he didn’t say anything. Then he slowly lowered the cup and stared at me.

"Monrok?"

"Yeah."

Old man Duke leaned back in his chair and let out a long breath.

"Well, I’ll be damned."

"You know him?" I asked.

"Know him?" he scoffed. "That bastard and I practically grew up together. He’s an old geezer too. I thought he said he didn’t want to have children, haha."

"Oh?"

"We were childhood friends," he continued. "Trained together. Fought together. Drank together. Caused plenty of problems together."

"Sounds like a nice friendship."

"It was," he said flatly.

The way he said it made it obvious that part didn’t end well.

"What happened?"

He snorted.

"A woman."

I blinked.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. Don’t look so surprised. Men have started wars over women."

"Fair point...fair point."

He took another sip of his drink before continuing.

"We both liked the same girl back then. Things got... messy. Words were exchanged. Pride got involved."

"And?"

"And we stopped speaking after that," he said simply.

No wonder things felt weird when Monrok reacted earlier.

"Well," I said casually, "that explains why King Monrok got excited when he heard you might come."

Old man Duke slowly turned his head toward me.

"What did you just say?"

I suddenly realized what I had said.

"Ah."

His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You told Monrok I would come?"

"Well... technically."

"Without asking me first?"

"Technically."

Old man Duke slammed his cup on the table.

"Jake!"

"Relax," I said, raising my hands. "It’s not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" he barked. "That stubborn mule and I haven’t spoken in centuries!"

"Which is exactly why you should come."

He stared at me like he was deciding whether to punch me.

"You volunteered me to visit my old rival."

"Old friend," I corrected.

"Rival."

"Friend."

He glared but I simply shrugged.

"Look, Aurelia wants to introduce me properly to the royal family. It would help if someone respected showed up with me."

"And you chose me?"

"Well... you’re the only old geezer I know."

"That is not a compliment."

"Still true though."

He grumbled under his breath. For a moment he didn’t speak. Then he leaned back again and closed his eyes.

"You really know how to drag people into your problems."

"Only the important ones though."

Another sigh escaped him.

"Why do you need me there so badly?"

"Because Monrok clearly still respects you," I replied. "And honestly, I think you two should talk again."

"After centuries?"

"Yeah."

He stared at me for a long moment. Then he shook his head.

"You’re a troublesome brat."

"I’ve been told that countless times."

"Fine."

I blinked.

"Wait, that was easier than I expected."

"I said fine," he grumbled. "But only this once."

I grinned.

"Thanks, old man."

"Don’t thank me yet," he said. "You still have a bigger problem."

"Oh?"

"How are you going to tell your other wives that you’re engaged to a dwarf princess?"

Ah.

Right.

That.

I rubbed my chin.

"Well... I was thinking of giving it about two weeks."

"Two weeks?" he repeated.

"Yeah. Let everyone settle down first."

He snorted.

"That’s your grand strategy?"

"Pretty much."

"And you think they won’t get mad?"

"Well," I said calmly, "I already did what they asked."

"What was that?"

"Relocating everyone to the vampire planet."

Old man Duke nodded slowly.

"That did take a lot of work."

"Exactly. New home, new security systems, relocating businesses... it was a mess."

"So you’re hoping that buys you goodwill."

"Pretty much."

He chuckled.

"You’re a bold man."

"I prefer the term optimistic."

"Delusional fits better."

Maybe he had a point. Still, I figured it would work out somehow. Hopefully.

Sigh.

A week passed before I even realized it.

Time moves strangely when you’re busy dealing with a dozen different things.

Surprisingly, everyone seemed to adjust to the vampire planet faster than I expected.

Honestly, most of them looked more comfortable here than they ever were back on Earth. The security alone made a huge difference.

Back on Earth, there were always spies, corporations, governments, and random idiots trying to mess with us.

Here?

Most people knew better than to cause trouble around the royal family.

It created a weird kind of peace. Of course, not everyone adjusted perfectly.

Vera and Blair were still getting used to things.

Blair adapted faster, probably because she had already experienced enough insanity in her life.

Vera, on the other hand, came from a completely normal human background.

So suddenly living on a planet full of vampires was... a lot for her.

Still, I noticed something interesting.

She seemed more relaxed. No constant paranoia. No worrying about being watched or attacked.

Just normal daily life.

Honestly, it looked like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Good for her.

Meanwhile, I had my own problems.

Right now, those problems were lying on the bed in front of me.

Anne and Hayes.

The mother-daughter duo were both on their backs while I worked on massaging them.

Their pregnancies had gotten heavy.

Very heavy.

At this point, it was obvious they were close to delivering their babies.

Which meant they complained about everything.

"My back..." Anne muttered.

"I know," I said while pressing my hands into her shoulders.

A few seconds later—

"Jake."

I sighed.

"What is it, Hayes?"

"My legs."

"I just massaged your legs five minutes ago."

"They hurt again."

"Of course they do."

Meanwhile, Anne groaned.

"Lower... a little lower..."

I moved my hands slightly.

"Here?"

"Yes... that’s better."

Then Hayes immediately spoke again.

"Hey! Why are you focusing on her again?"

I looked over at her.

"Because she asked first."

"That’s not fair."

"So what?"

"I get priority because I’m older."

"That’s not a real rule!"

I rubbed my face.

Sigh...

"Both of you are impossible."

I went back to massaging Hayes’ legs.

A few seconds passed.

Then—

"Jake."

I stopped.

"What now?"

Anne pouted slightly.

"You stopped massaging me."

"Yes. Because I’m massaging Hayes."

"But my back still hurts."

Hayes immediately crossed her arms.

"See? She always steals your attention."

"Oh please," Anne replied. "You’re the one complaining every five minutes."

"Because my legs hurt!"

"My back hurts!"

"Jake!"

"Jake!"

I looked at the ceiling.

Why did I agree to this?

Still, I kept working back and forth.

Again. And again.

And again.

After twenty minutes, I was sweating.

"This is ridiculous," I muttered.

"Jake," Hayes said again.

"What."

"My feet."

"Didn’t I just—"

"And my shoulders."

I turned to Anne.

"Please tell me you’re done complaining."

She smiled sweetly.

"My hips hurt now."

Something inside me snapped.

"Oh for f—"

I stopped myself and took a deep breath.

Both of them stared at me innocently. Meanwhile, I was sweating like I had just run a marathon.I wiped my forehead and muttered under my breath.